Gallery of the Absurd

Karl Lagerfeld Wearing His Own Murban

When I read about Karl Lagerfeld urging men to slap a turban on their heads in the name of high fashion, I wanted to see what Karl himself would look like wearing one.  The turban, errr "Murban" shown on the sleek male model in the accompanying article wasn't the sort you'd see on a handsome Sikh riding a fine stallion into the sunset, nope, it looked more like something granny would wear to keep her hair dry while she swam her morning laps at the local YMCA. Medium: Ink and acrylic on paper. SOLD

GOTA Trickery Fools International Newspaper

Much to my delight, an alert reader has informed me that the NY Edition of The Metro has used my Urban Satchel in a fluff article about women's handbags. When I first saw it, I thought it was an Onion-type parody newspaper -- but it's real. Not only did they use my image as an illustration, they included my fakery under "Purse Facts". Unbelievable! I created that bag after gluing collected trash (including a shrimp tail and a used band-aid) onto an old purse AND I deliberately misspelled "Louie Vuitton" - which they printed. That's almost as bad as the German TV show that featured our images of the Stella McCartney Heather Mills Jewelry Collection on their morning show as the real thing. Makes you wonder what other trickery the media publicizes as fact. Thanks Laura.

Stella McCartney Launches The Heather Mills Jewelry Collection

Clothing designer Stella McCartney will seek sweet revenge on her gold digging, one-legged ex-Stepmonster by offering a single-leg pendant as part of her new Heather Mills jewelry collection. It was hard enough to watch her father marry and then divorce the greedy money-grubber, but what finally sent Stella over the edge was Heather's tearful woe-is-me media campaign against Sir Paul. Click here to see the rest of Stella's lovely collection of Heather Mills jewelry, including the Gold Digger Charm and the diamond encrusted Evil She-Devil Pendant. Medium: photoshop goofiness, concept created by Holy Candy, jewelry designed by 14.

Now You Can Walk in Paris Hilton's Shoes

 

You know you've secretly always wanted to walk a mile in Paris Hilton's shoes....and now you can! The ex-jailbird has announced she'll be designing her own line of shoes and only Gallery of the Absurd has the exclusive preview of two of the hottest styles from her collection. The Supertanker, shown above, features dainty ankle straps paired with sexy four-inch heels. You need not worry about the state of your pedicure because when you slip on these adorable shoes, your toes will look perfect every time.

 

Forget Jimmy Choo. Forget Manolo Blahnik. Judging from these sexy boots, Paris Hilton is sure to be the new IT shoe designer. Manufactured in China Handcrafted in Italy using only the finest leathers from the largest cows, the Paris Hilton Clodhopper is sure to become your wardrobe favorite. Don't worry about whether or not you can fit these things into your closet - the Clodhopper comes with its very own decorator storage trunk. You can use it as a coffee table and no one will ever know your Clodhoppers are stashed inside. Paris is so clever! (thanks Jessica)

 

Victoria Beckham's robot friends admire her new pair of Paris Hilton Supertankers.

 

Mary Kate Olsen tends to gravitate toward the more unusual expensive designer shoes - and that's why she simply adores her new Paris Hilton Clodhoppers.

The World's Most Expensive Handbag

Much discussion has erupted over the recent announcement of the $45,000 Loius Vuitton bag. Only two dozen were made, and despite the fact they look like something a lawnmower chewed up, all have quickly sold out. If you think paying $45,000 is outrageous, then get a load of this Loius Vuitton $150,000 Urban Satchel debuting for Spring 2008:

Made of the world's finest Italian leather, this one-of-a-kind luxury handbag is hand-crafted with carefully chosen "urban charms". The proud owner of this exclusive handbag will be able to flaunt her impeccable style and lavish taste to a world that can only dream about owning such a rare and precious possession. Medium: an old purse found in the back of my closet, rubber cement, various bits of trash found on the sidewalks of San Francisco.

Ashley Olsen has signed a multimillion dollar endorsement deal to advertise the $150,000 Urban Satchel in upcoming issues of Vogue. It's rumored the Olsen Twins are locked in heated battle over who gets to purchase the bag, while Anna Wintour and Victoria Beckham have started a nasty bidding war for it. Medium: Photoshop collage.

I hate to say it, but the $45,000 bag pictured above looks sooooo last season compared to the innovative design of the Urban Satchel.

Hollywood's Hottest Accessory?

A few months ago Cracked magazine asked me to create two illustrations to accompany a controversial article about the recent trend of celebrity overseas adoption. The illustrations can be found in the Jan/Feb 2007 issue, available at newsstands now. I've only briefly followed the Madonna adoption story so I don't know what all the brouhaha is about, but I do remember reading that Sharon Osbourne compared Madge's adoption to "getting a Louis Vuitton handbag." Angelina Jolie isn't too pleased about Madonna's "illegal" adoption either. Oprah said it was okay though. Medium: Ink on paper, digital color.

This Madonna and Child illustration leads the article. Medium: Acrylic on board.

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