Gallery of the Absurd

The Circus Side Show Performances of Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison

Courtney Stodden needs a little assistance when toddling down the sidewalk in towering stripper shoes, especially now that her center of gravity has been knocked off kilter by the weight of the cartoonishly enormous set of boobs she's acquired after a recent software upgrade. Creepy ol' Doug Hutchison is more than happy to assist his teen bride as they proudly parade in the flashing glare of the paparazzi cameras. I don't focus on as much celebrity distraction as I used to, but for some reason these two have caught my attention and I can't stop myself from clicking on any link in which they are featured. I don't know what kind of people they are because I've not yet met them in person, but I'm simply mesmerized by their brilliant circus side show performance art. Medium: graphite on paper, digital paint.

There was a photo shoot of Courtney and Doug taken a few months ago at a stripper club. She clings to the pole in a manner of what I'm guessing she considers "sexy poses". Doug stands nearby, grabbing and pawing at her young (?) flesh with his weather-beaten arms. Medium: graphite on paper, digital paint.

Earlier this year, Courtney Stodden brought her Daddy (her real Daddy) to a red-carpet launch party for her new "music" video. Many photos of the two showed her Dad leering into her cleavage or spanking her behind as she sticks it out for him. When I gazed at each of the photos, one more unsettling than the other, they all began to deconstruct into Francis Bacon-esque paintings. Medium: graphite on paper, digital paint.

The Slithering Spectacle of the Courtney Stodden Lizard

The Courtney Stodden Lizard childbride hypersexualus is an aggressively hungry, fame-hunting species of the common reptile. Its habitat is varied, but it prefers dwelling in areas offering it a chance to create an embarrassing spectacle of itself. It may be spotted teetering and strutting on its stripper-heeled claws to places like shopping malls, swimming pools and pumpkin patches. It's often thrown out of these areas for being "too sexy", angering Moms and luring Dads. 

Its odd behavior of awkwardly contorting its body into what it believes to be sexy poses has been caught on film and continues to baffle behavioral scientists. Common behavioral traits such as puffing up its globe-like chest while strainfully arching its back or flicking its restless tongue over frosted pink lips was adapted as a way to attract males of the human species. Body language is its main method of communication, but it can also be observed making inane twittering noises and jibbering in vocal fry. In a mate, the Courtney Stodden Lizard prefers creepy middle-aged males who dress in faded 80's-era dark clothing and who sprout odd filaments of hair-like growth atop their heads when its not covered by a bandana or beanie. Medium: Ink on paper, digital paint.