Sure, I'd Buy Paris Hilton's Newest Perfume If...

Sure, I'd buy Paris Hilton's newest fragrance if it was created and promoted in the real life image of Paris Hilton instead of the decontaminated fake glamour she insists on hoisting upon the weary public.  At the debut party/media event for her most recent odorous concoction Tease, Paris Hilton dressed up as some sort of corpse-like version of Marilyn Monroe and struggled awkwardly to emulate the iconic sex symbol. With a ridiculously oversized wig that looked more like a bleached out Ooompa Loompa wig than a Marilyn one, coupled with a thick coat of embalmer's makeup, Paris looked more like Marilyn's stumbling zombie.  I laughed out loud.  In many of the photos, Paris poses by holding a bottle of Tease perfume "seductively" near her parted lips.  COME ON, just go ahead and forge the bottle to appear a bit more phallic and show Paris slobbering all over the bottle's tip. Don't stop there, add more layers of harsh reality (the icing on the cake!) by including the many many many drug busts Paris was involved with this year. Forget staged photographs, simply use the ones of Paris stumbling out of a VIP room in some cheesy Las Vegas nightclub. I say Paris should proudly own her tarnished image and use it to her best advantage.  Rename the perfume Sleaze and simply promote the image of Paris Hilton WE see. I sense a fresh new approach to marketing celebrity fragrances:  Reality Perfume.  Yep, just like reality TV.   If Paris had gone that route, I would have purchased a bottle... and I never buy celebrity perfumes. Medium: graphite on paper, digital paint.

 

Comments

[Knox Bronson]

Hi Beautiful. I've been away. Pixels has taken over my life. And Maia. I love this picture and your writing as always, but I made the mistake of clicking on the links! Eeeeewwwwe! She is gross.
Anyway, I hope you are well. We must chat soon, 14!!

[ElB]

Fantabulous! Crab ring..LOL. :o)

[Master Blaster]

Brillant as always! Reality perfume is a genius idea. These celeb perfumes should complete the offensiveness that they commit upon our other senses. Except taste. I don't want to taste Paris Hilton or Snooki or...well, any of them. I'm going to assume that Paris was doing a bit of performance art. Like what would Marilyn Monroe look like if she were a useless, fame-whoring, methhead, skanky twat with the mental capacity of an 8 year-old with severe brain damage. Or something like that.

Also, those hands will haunt me until the day I die. *shivers*

[Vern]

Thanks Dawn! You're as sweet as the spun-sugar of 14's rendering of paris's wig!

[Chansmom]

Oh my! As always, 14. You're just amazing! LOL! The crab ring and those HUGE hands!

[Tiffany]

I would buy that perfume so I can sit on it. ;)

[BlackbeltBettie]

Excellence as always, 14! And the return of crabby made me snort! pun intended? lol.

[scent of a mule]

The research and inspiration behind the latest fragrance:

Norma Jean Mortensen was, in matters of personal hygiene, a slut.

She ate in bed and pushed the remains under the sheet; had irritable bowel syndrome and flatulence; rarely bathed; and preferred to sleep in the nude.

http://www.rediff.com/movies/2007/jul/11monroe.htm

[Elspeth]

That's HOT!

[midi]

The mixture of delusion and reality is scrumptious!

[dawn]

Vern, LOL! Loved your ditty.

And, GOTA, YOU ROCK!

[Bloo]

Oh you made my day! Cute crabby ring!

[sweet subversion]

You're so funny 14!

[Shannon]

I too want that crab ring!!!!

[The Mave]

"Pure Genius!!!!!!!!" All she needs now is a much longer bottle neck to orally fixate onto!

[Vern]

A kiss on a peen might be quite continental,
But perfume is a skanks's best friend...
A kiss may fetch a grand, but it Wonk pay the rental
On your muling twat, or help you
at the customs spot,
Feds grow cold as "Sleaze" grows mold
On your dollars I surely depend,
So ugly and Crabby
your dollars I'll grabby
Cause Perfume is a skank's best friend!

[Bafink]

I love Paris, when she falls...

GREAT!

[Mishi]

Whoa! That wig is hideous *and* not applied very well. Oh Paris...just keep beating that dead horse. :D

Oh and yeah, you're going to have to start producing those li'l crabby rings, cause I want one too! :)

[Kipling]

I seriously want her "li'l crabby" ring!!!

[Fenriq]

Any day that includes some GOTA is going to be a good day! Love this, so totally love this! The awesome is in the details!