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I work in plant genetics and I can tell you that scientists are far more interesting (not to mention beautiful inside) than celebrities could ever hope to be. Thanks for creating this entry, it truly is genius!

The quantum theory QotD had me rolling on the floor!


what. an. awesome. post. great concept.


This site is the best! I love the Perez dig.

Deaf Feminist Punk!

genius. I thought this was brilliant.

Fuck Perez. I fucking HATE him so much. I've stopped reading his blog a few weeks ago, and now I find myself less angry at the computer.


I was actually disappointed that there was no real Jane Goodall sexy chimp video! Does that mean there is something wrong with me?


I almost wish this were a real publication. But we all know the tabloids would never focus on people who are actually worthy of the attention.

14, would you please follow this up with a Vanity Fair-esque "Hottest Men and Women of Science" piece?

cornwall wallcorn

Thank you for all your kind comments!




As Perezzel would say.... BRAZILLIANT! I love that you put such a twist on our twisted celeb obsessed society!
U Rock!

Knox Bronson

you never cease to amaze. I can't really add anything to what everyone has already said. I did make the mistake of watching the Perez Goes Shirtless video ... big mistake. Luckily I had just eaten a light snack & am heading to the gym & i hope, by dinnertime, my subconscious will have kindly banished the memory of the doughboy to the place of forgetfulness, away from easy conscious retrieval - he is actually more unattractive on the INSIDE, don't you think?
But back to YOU, 14 - you are the BOMB. A treasure of the internets. And I love your new art blog as well. Thank you, darling! xox knox

Patty Wack

Too funny!!!!


This is hilarious, you've outdone yourself!



Thanks for making me choke on my food!


during the renaissance, these 'thinkers' would have been celebrities! I bet the the middle of each quarterly scientific journal has a gossip section, where scholars propose absurd theories to account for each other's scandalous behavior.



the perez hit had me floored, why does society pontificate egomaniacs who have much ado about nothing? Reminds me of Ayn Rands book on Atlas Shrugged.....this (above) fictitious society is a invite-only access granted .....LOL sad society......sad indeed...

Kris Verburgh

Very funny!


When you said that celebrities were starting to bore you, I had NO IDEA you would take such a turn.

Pure Genius, 14. I love it!


thank you so much for this post! I laughed so hard! It looks exactly like Star Magazine.

Dr. L.

What viper said! The snark-o-meter of Brilliance!
Truly, a high point, 14.


Mmmmmm, a magazine filled with nerds in gossip/celebrity format is kinda getting me hot. Is that wrong?

Viper Tetsu

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph in a hot tub fulla pink lemonade Slurpee: I can't stop laughing. The last guffaw sent some chewed baby carrot through my nostril. Swear to God. Each minute detail, each scalpel-precise visual and verbal slice, is chemically and structurally engineered to pants-wetting perfection.

At the risk of premature hyperbole (since you invariably set the Snark-O-Meter of Brilliance higher with staggering frequency), this is the funniest thing you've ever done; your Citizen Kane; your Sgt. Peppers...Trenchant social satire that goes down smooth but leaves the aftertaste of the best comic cognac ever fashioned. All without deriding the human beings who are the subjects.

I'm filing your deification papers now.


Who are these peeople??? Thank heavens you at least included Perez! So much for celebrity artwork! Sheesh.

p.s. How many times did you piss your pants while working on this collection, 14? Readers want to know!


What do most actors and musicians do? Entertain us and maybe point our some social issues. Why do they deserve the admiration?

Actors and Musicians are brands. They have to advertise themselves in order to sell their work.

Scientists have to sell themselves too, but only to other scientists. But instead of spending a currency of celebrity, they tend to sell ideas and elegant experimental designs (also, scientists don't always have good people skills).

On the one hand it is absurd. But celebrity journalism reflects the values of our society.

On the other hand, celebrity journalism is an important business tool for actors and musicians. Don't think of them, then, as people, when they show up in the gossip sheets. Think of them as Tide, Tums, and Huggies. Only... with a human face.


Just when I thought you couldn't make anything better. Jesus.


I think treating scientists and humanitarians as celebrities would fix a lot of our problems. They fix major problems in the world, they deserve our respect.

What do most actors and musicians do? Entertain us and maybe point our some social issues. Why do they deserve the admiration?


Well, I know that was a joke, but that Stephen Hawking does get around a bit. I mean, he divorced his wife of decades, mother of his children, and took up with his best friend's wife (who he also divorced). I wouldn't put it past him to hook up with some showgirls in Vegas... ;)


Gee 14,
Are you trying to say the world is bigger than Diddy's ego?

Roy N

You are just so.

Demon Kitty

You know, when I looked at this, I got emotional. I actually started to feel something akin to "how dare you make fun of their dress!!!!"

You look into these people's eyes and there is sincerity and integrity or some kind of substance there. You look into the eyes of the Hollywood scum and you either see complete and utter bullshit, or nothing.


Thank you for this. :D


spot on on...

Rex Karz

The things that constitute value in our society today absolutely blow my mind. We are truly a friggin' "Idiocracy".

Cyclops Kitten Natividad

Oh my god. I love you, 14. This is genius.


JB Spry your comment is as brilliant as this piece.




On behalf of engineers, computer geeks, and science nerds everywhere, we thank you!

jb spry

What famous cellular biologist has been sipping from the laboratory specimen jars since finding lurid photos of her gadfly (drosophila priapus)anthropologist husband leeringly surrounded by a gaggle of topless young Giraffe Women - taken when he was supposedly "at work" on a National Geographic assignment? We're not naming names, but someone at Stanford University needs to remind the jilted jeneticist that she won't get any "solutions" from her friend Ethyl.

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