Cats Love Pete Doherty's Crack Addict Crunchies

Recent reports claim Pete Doherty's cats were found with cocaine in their systems. Similar to the air in Rome, Junkie Pete's London apartment is wafting with enough cocaine particles to keep him, his cats, and his entire neighborhood high for months. After noticing his cats were snorting lines, hallucinating, drinking all his beer, and stealing his car for crack-fueled joy rides, Pete came up with an idea. He would gather trash, bits of rotting food and dust from his apartment and make cat treats from it. Pete Doherty's Crack Addict Crunchies are taking London by storm and will soon be available in the United States. They're 40 times stronger than catnip and your cat is guaranteed to love them...but please, keep them out of reach from Hollywood starlets. Medium: oil on wood, digital color. Original sketch here.

Comments

[Aleysha]

Oh my gosh, how do you do it? That's genius! I knew I had seen that face before...

[Joe the Dog Lover]

That picture is disturbing.

[Mallamar Berracci]

I think I saw this on an episode of Ren and Stimpy--the ones done by John Kricfalusi for Nickelodeon, not the later ones he did for Spike TV (the "Adult Party Cartoon" episodes).

[rachel]

This is CRAP and NOT funny!!!!! just rude!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nosferatu]

I thought the 50 Cent pic was hilarious, but I almost spit out my coffee with this one. You outdid yourself with this one. I'll be laughing for days (and whenever I see Pete Doherty on The Soup).

[Joyananda]

I love that you used that "crazy cat" from Cliff Yablonski's blog!!!! Well i actually don't know if you got the cat's face from there but i know personally i've seen it there. This is hilarious!

[blondi]

I've often heard people saying, "oh, I just lost my lunch/breakfast looking at that picture!" But until now I thought it was a metaphor.

Here I am eating oatmeal for breakfast before a class. I click to go to galleryoftheabsurd, and when I scrolled down to see this, I honestly put down my spoon and gagged.

This has got to be one of the most nauseating images I've ever seen. And with that, I must congratulate you, 14, because that takes some skillful artmanship.

[Paige]

Perfectly captures that filthy wretch's disgustingness - you've captured every detail down to the open wounds.

[Fairlady Z]

Ahahaha, he is so disgusting.

This is probably what his crack-addicted cat was seeing during that joyride:

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/mapquest.jpg

[www.TeesMyBody.com T-Shirts]

Lol, it DOES look like him.

[Thorne Smith]

Remember those "Smoking is Glamorous" posters from the 70's and 80's? Every picture I see of this wanker is an anti-drug advertisement. My God, is this guy a mess...and 14, you captured it all beautifully.

[FunnY BeinG]

LoL!
loved the cartoon!!!

What a nice blog. Thanks ;-)

[scungilli]

it's why he stays drugged, knowing this is who he'd have to face once he woke up ... if only the heathens would heed the oracle 14 ...

[Jenn F.]

Actually, I'm starting to think that the kitty looks kind of hot in comparison to the real Pete Doherty.

[trilbynhiss]

Oh my god, that tail! Hahahaha!

You're artwork has made me laugh before, but this is the best one yet.

[Alexander Nevermind]

I just noticed the huge boils on his back.

BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUGGGHHH! It's as repulsive as the real thing!

[Viper Tetsu]

Several years ago, I got an ingrown toenail. It became extremely swollen and the nail had to be cut out by a doctor. It really hurt, and it was really goddamned ugly.

Pete Doherty's head looks exactly like my toe did at the apex of its inflamation (give or take the corpse-like patina and the mop of greasy hair on top), and you've captured that resemblance to an ever-lovin' T. Thank you for allowing me to face my traumatic past, whilst simultaneously making me laugh my ass off.

[DonnaJEM]

Blech!
Someone tell me how come he never gets in trouble getting busted for drugs?

[cris]

Utter perfection...

[fishpucker]

ugh, man what a blob of uselessness.

[Mezza]

You gotta wonder about a guy who names his pet after the slang word for syringes. To this fella, EVERYTHING is about drugs. They probably give him those inkblot tests and he says 'drugs'..'drugs'...'drugs'...

You have captured the revulsion that is Pete Doherty to perfection. Whenever i see anything about him and Kate i think of 'Midsummer's Night Dream' where that character falls in love with the donkey. One of these days Kate'll wake up, see Pete next to her and screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem, for like, five years.

[superblondgirl]

Poor kitties!

[christi]

Oh, just perfect! You even caught the sweat and grease dripping from him. He has got to be the filthiest human being on the planet. Kate Moss must be out of her mind to even get near this cretin!

[D.J.]

I absolutely love it! This is the best and funniest one I've seen on this website. I love it, love it, love it.

[hurleygurlie2388]

omg i know it's supposed to be funny but it kinda makes me sad : (

[Roz]

Brilliant! Just awesome :-)

[seabiscuit]

Would he just die already. That's animal abuse. Has he been given his weekly arrest yet? Lock him up and throw away the key.

[theresa]

Another great feature! I have never seen the attraction... or the allure of this guy. What a freak show.
theresa

[Jessica]

Brilliant. And gross. And brilliant.
He's just a nasty, nasty, mess.

[Chansmom]

Great work, 14. But poor kitties. I hope the RSPCA took them away from that idiot for good.

[Demon Kitty]

The open wounds he's given himself when he is digging in his skin to get out the bugs or whatnot is what gets me the most. It makes sense that his demons would have coke/crack in their systems. Some of my demons already behave as though they are on crack. I am trying to imagine them high ...

[langtry]

Agreed, Becca. I think he stands little chance of getting the cats back after the SPCA (who had custody of the cats after the last raid on Doherty's place) found the cats to have ingested the drugs. And the Brits are much more animal-rights oriented than we are -- the only way he'll get another animal is if he wins them in a card game.

[midevil]

Gawd, he's so fucking sexy. If he's what Death looks like, I want it! Ok, no, I cleaned up my act, and yeah, you always feel the way he looks, but shit, the boy makes pasty yellow look hot. Must be his singing. I love his music. I hear he really is good in bed too, although I'm not sure when he finds the time, in between hits.

[just wonderin]

Any chance he'll make cheeto flavor?

[moxie]

Oh GAH!!! This one frightened me so much! Funny yet really really freaky....

[that_girl]

Rockin, 14! Poor kitties! :(

[Jenn F.]

Oh that is just SO funny! It looks exactly like him. I love the end of his tail where the fur is worn off and just the nasty bone is poking out. And the hair! And the expression on his face! It's absolutely perfect.

I've never understood how anyone could find him attractive. He's pastey, oily, and always appears to be flying on some chemical mismash. How in the world did Kate Moss stay with him for so long?! Okay, granted, she was high half the time as well. But this guy is just way down in the gutter. Mind you, they do say love is blind. Gech.

[NY Diva]

Hahahaha! I LOVE IT!

[Erik]

The odd thing about this guy is that I've never heard him sing, just seen his drug videos and read his exploits. A class act, he certainly ain't!

Nicely captured, 14!

[Becca]

Poor cats.:(

That is animal abuse.

[kdl]

ugh -- gagged up a hairball on this one!
Bill the Cat...Stimpy (or was it Ren?) and now Doperty!! The litter will be a-clumpin' tonite!

[Jujupiter]

Love the picture of the cat on the upper right corner!

[buzzgirl]

So, so funny! It's brilliant. Really.

[gilmore]

Holy Christ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew it was Pete Doherty even before I saw his name! I will be laughing about this all day. Thanks 14. You never fail to amaze!