It's Paris Hilton Celebration Week!

Much thanks to half the planet's population for emailing me to do a Paris Hilton in Jail posting. I'm working on one, but it's not quite ready yet. To celebrate Paris Hilton's jail sentence, I'm going sailing out on the beautiful San Francisco Bay today. Champange will be a'flowing and laughter-filled gloating will fill the air. Meanwhile, here's another delightful Jeff Polage Celebrity Pantomime. This time, Jeff has created a stunning likeness of Paris Hilton's crotch. We tried to find a raw chicken that looked more rotten, but the grocery clerk said they only carried fresh chickens. We did this photo shoot in a pool side cabana located at a Beverly Hills hotel and all the tony hotel guests gave us dirty looks as hirsute Jeff walked past everyone carrying a raw chicken and wearing nothing but a towel. It was a good day.

Comments

[Melissa]

Please please please have Jeff capture that moment of her sobbing in the back of the police car!! I would pay to see it!

[wundersmack]

I love Jeff. I hate chicken now and will never eat it again.

But for the sake of all that is holy, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE show us more Jeff P. Doesn't matter if it is nether regions, backside, whatever, but for god's sake don't keep us waiting so long between Jeff fixes.

[moonmaid]

omg, just noticed the valtrex covering princess paris' jewels. am literally overcome with choking laughter...

[[email protected]]

Does Jeff do dinner parties?

He is sick and hilarious, as are you, 14. And I mean that in the nicest way. I am looking at this while bored at my p/t bookstore job, and the customers are looking at me oddly while I stifle spasms of laughter.

[haha!!]

haha!!! this sites always great for a laugh at paris penis nose hiltons expense.

[DonnaJEM]

Sweet jeebus, I just threw up in my mouth

[Candice]

Goodness, you and Jeff are just so beautiful. Love it!

[big rosie greenbaum]

Alas, Paris won't see much jail time. The Hiltons are trying to convince Schwarzawhatever to reduce the sentence and a law professor says the most she'll do is a week or two. I believe it - it's LA.

[midevil]

Mmmm, yummy--you've converted this vegetarian!

[Chansmom]

OMGZ!!!! I needed that so bad! After the crappy weather here in K.C, the laughter is flowing! Thank you, 14. You rawk!!!!

Hope Jeff scrubbed up well after playing with that chicken. =)

[mellen]

Quote:::I'm sure many of our taxpayers are thrilled to know their hard earned money is going to such an honorable and worthy cause as imprisoning Paris and her crotch for 45 days, making our community a safer place.:::Here, here!

I cant beleive its really happeing. Will she really serve the time? The whole time?

[Demon Kitty]

Jeff deserves and award. This made my year. I can't wait to see what happens to Paris in the slammer!@

[Jenn F.]

That's it... that's it! Paris Hilton's snatch looks like the ass-end of a raw chicken! It probably also has a similar skyrocketing bacterial level. You wanna wash your hands well after going near that.

[buggey]

Please do something on JENNIFER ANISTON. Please. Please. Please.

[Gross Boss]

I will always love you 14! :] And my assistant too :]]

[Charlene]

Got Jeff choking the chicken on camera now, have you?

[Viper Tetsu]

Anyone who wears a raw poultry codpiece in dedication to his art gets my utmost respect. Hats off, Mr. Polage.

[MC Haiku]

oh 14 14 14 ... you two are criminals.

Thanks for the laugh!

Bet it was perfect out on the bay today.

[123]

LOL. I cannot wait for your next Paris post!
Oh yeah what did you do with the chicken afterwards?

[ParasiteHilton]

I'd hit that chicken before I'd go near infested Parasite's crotch.

[Diana]

This made me literally bust out laughing. The resemblance is uncanny!

[And her little crabs, too]

She's going to be very popular in jail! Might I say...finger lickin' good? (apologies to all of you who just lost your lunches)

[UndecidedPerfect]

Holy chicken giblets!

That was the funniest thing I've seen on the internet since William Hung!Sweet baby Jebus 14 / Jeff thats awesome!

Kudos!

[Lynnster]

Whaaa? You're going sailing? Without ME!??? And I thought we were friends...

Sniffle. Snort.

[Shalom/Kai]

(imagines the feeling of a raw chicken on my crotch) Ahhh! Well, glad to see Jeff Polage again, even if it is his nether regions. I had no idea she was in jail. I must investigate immediately.

[surcie]

Best news all week! Can't wait to see what you'll come up with.

[deanna]

y'all are a mess.

[matthew]

oh it is a good day isnt it?

[Sage]

Whoa...I'm already suffering from morning sickness and this is about to put me over the edge!
I laughed when I read Kathy Hilton's quote about "what a waste of taxpayer money".
I'm sure many of our taxpayers are thrilled to know their hard earned money is going to such an honorable and worthy cause as imprisoning Paris and her crotch for 45 days, making our community a safer place.

[Annie Mahoney]

Ha ha!

I'm sure I speak for many when I say I can't wait to see your Paris-in-jail piece.