Britney, Lindsay and Paris: The Three Disgraces

La Primavera is one of Sandro Botticelli's best known paintings. The angelic figures shown in this ethereal work of art all represent mythological characters. While viewing this painting at the Uffizi, my eyes were drawn to the fluid movement and delicate beauty of the Three Graces. According to Greek mythology, the Three Graces represent beauty, charm and joy. Contemporary mythological characters such as Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are the antithesis of grace. This makes them the Three Disgraces. They represent sleaze, trash, and desperate cry for attention. What makes these women think we want to see high resolution photos of their bald, flabby, and in Britney's case, Kevin Federline-infected genitalia? If they want to show off their crotch, why don't they just go ahead and pose for Playboy? Their girlie bits would be thankfully photo retouched to oblivion and our precious eyeballs would be spared the harsh detail of pimples, stubble, cesarean scar and general ickiness sullying their private parts. Medium: Acrylic on board. SOLD

Comments

[Katie]

"They" don't think we want to see their genitalia. The people who take pictures of them anytime they leave their house and the blogs and magazines that publish those pictures are the ones who think we want to see their genitalia (and they are right most of the time--that's why the pictures keep coming). Everyone has the right to shave their pubes badly and go commando if they want. We should criticize the people who publish and look at these photos, not the people who do the same things millions of other people in America do.

[Cynthia]

14, you are the bomb.
I've been checking out your site to see when/when/WHEN your new site will be up and running....and I had to re-visit your Parasite Pages.
Great work....please keep 'em coming!
This specific work revolving around Parisite always leaves me astonished and laughing!

[Joanne Higginbottom]

Hi 14, I am a composer based in the UK, your painting 'The 3 Disgraces' has inspired me to write music for it.
I have written a Concerto for Alto Saxophone and Marimba, it is written in three movements- Trash, Sleaze and a Desperate Cry for Attention. I loved the concept of the painting and wanted to potray that as much as possible in my work. I am just finishing the final movement now as i have been working on the piece on and off for a couple of months now. I have my two players lined up and will be recording the entire piece very soon.

If anyone is interested in hearing the piece/ peforming it, dont hesitate to contact me on [email protected]

Again thanks for the inspiration and i look forward to seeing any future works.

[Akane]

Hola... muy buen trabajo. Espero que pronto ustedes visiten Costa Rica, es un país muy bello.

[jennifer leigh]

why don't u guys just shut up. a lot of women go on night outs without pantys they just don't have paparazzi up their skirts.
oh one more thing, cesarean scars, pimply bikini lines or not i bet u anything these girls look 1000 times better than ur wives- u huge bunch of losers! at least they have money and don't need to be online insulting other people to feel good about themselves-useless nobodys that's what u all are.

[chco]

holly shit!
Good job
I like it!!!

[asdfghjkl;]

fuck you.
leave them alone.
britney and paris are beautiful.
dumbshits believing every little thing.
every little exageration
in the stupid media
and judging them for it.
they are people.
like you and me and you have no fucking idea what life is like for them.
and here you are tormenting them.
insulting them.
disgusting.
just my opinion.

[LindseyGfromBham]

wow i can't even in words say how much i DISLIKE those three ladies thank you for this sick picture NO ONE could have done it better lol and i also hear lindsey lohan wants to play STEVIE NICKS in a upcoming film......SO GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mosaic Pattern]

very fantastic!!!!

[peke]

AWESOME!!!!!
HOW COME LINDSAY STILL LOOKS GOOD??
I LOVE HOW YOU PAINTED PARIS THOUGH

[atenea-crisoelefantina.blogspot.com]

great work! congratulations!

[Stealth]

If only Britney was bald...this would have been almost 100% accurate. Bravo.

[Miss L]

i've been meaning to comment on this one since someone showed me- I think your eye for detail is awesome. very funny. only thing i'd say is that paris looks too cartoonish and exaggerated compared to the others. you're a master with color, though.

[Vix the Over-Educated Nympho]

OH my god, I love the art. Brilliant. Although I worry that if I look at it for too long my eyeballs will catch an STD.

AWESOME.............!!!!! couldn't say more
;)

[xumsu]

Ебана в рот!!!
Кому дала ты ручной пулемёт!
Мда, тема...

[cherise]

this is my favourite of all your works. i LOVE it! great work! you got all the sluts down to a tee - from lindsay's fake freckled boob to britney's disgustingly fat elephant thighs to paris hilton's droop eyes and clown honker

fantastic

[Mr_Te]

Bravísimo maestro, una obra genial, ademas de ser la purisima verdad. GREAT JOB

[Alison]

Great art, enjoyed it all, but had to stop short at the three disgraces. I have four cesarean scars, they ain't pretty, but they are a part of me.

Thanks for an entertaining half hour!

[Baby Jebus]

Haha, Paris' hands are HUGE

[Pavel]

UNBELIEVABLE! :)

[Chai]

Great job! This one is superb :))
I borrowed the pic to my blog. Thanks!

[happy]

I hope they all get diseases one day, if they haven't already.

[Sophie]

A picture is usually worth 1,000 words. Though I have to say that this picture displays one word so prominently: Whores.

Nicely done.

[Fanny Pack]

Not to steal Jenn F's thunder, but Mel Brooks coined the term "woo woo" and it makes me happy to see it in use on GOTA.

I have read all the comments on this post and they are quite fascinating. Those who think 14 is jealous merely have pea brains with nothing else to say. I bet your mother told you that people who made fun of you were "just jealous." Barf.

Don't you get it? These girls WANT their ya yas to be seen. They KNOW that the photogs will be there when they exit a vehicle. DUH.

Besides, 14 is merely illustrating pop culture and the obsession with celebrity. And she (yes, she's a she) is doing a mighty fine job at it. She is an amazing and brilliant artist and I hope that screwball naysayers will not deter her from continuing this site.

[deanna]

hey jenn f,
i think you should copyright that term "woowoo". must use it from now on, with permisison of course. woowoo, too funny. ever since those photos were taken, i've beefed up security on my woowoo

[Kai]

Thank you deanna, you are very kind. I am still amused by people such as Lilly who suggest these women are innocent victims. Yes.. innocent victims of the media whom they use to get attention, good or bad, victims of far too much money, having little talent but being supported by rabid fans, and I suppose something called "underwear amnesia". For those of you who defend their choice to not wear underwear when wearing a short dress or skirt, let me give you a little anecdote. Recently I was doing business about town when my jeans happened to catch and there was a huge rip over a personal area. So you know what I did? Not say, "Hm how unfortunate, I'm just going to do my business, and if I happen to give people an unwelcome glimpse of my tuchus, then that's too bad for them." No. I went home and changed, because I have a sense of modesty and dignity. If these women need to hire someone to be in charge of that for them, so be it. Perhaps if these women cannot dress themselves, they should not be in the public eye. Time to end this; I have gone on too long.

Shalom,
Kai

[Natlas]

This is your best ever!! Oh my god... It's perfection. If I close my eyes I keep laughing because I can already see your rendition of Britney as Botticelli's Primivera on the CLAM shell.
Rock it! Your my hero.

[lmj]

i love how you captured paris's strangely sagging butt cheeks.

[phlegmfatale]

You've outdone yourself here. The text of The Three Disgraces matches wit with the sidesplitting illustration. Brilliant, as usual.

[midevil]

I already posted to this, but alas, the machine must have ate it all up.

I suggested a modern Hollyrude book using these pieces.

[autogato]

Wonderful!

[CmB]

Just passing by , via popbitch , pissed myself laughing then threw up thinking about those revolting axe wounds.
Will definately come back soon so keep up the good work.

[Chris]

I really like the artwork. It reflects pop culture of today's time. BRILLIANT!

[Jenn F.]

"What a shock the artist is female...jealous much?"

Lilly, you're either really young and naive or you're incredibly fucking stupid. It's insulting to all females to propagate this ignorant and shallow-sighted myth that anytime we have something negative to say about another female, we must be "jealous".

Deanna is absolutely right about the laughable point that you're sitting here spending time on an artist's website who's famous for poking fun at celebrities and their bizarre never-off-the-stage lives, and then you feel the need to attempt to personally insult the artist on her site.

What's the matter, are you a big closet-fan of these three and you're feeling the need to defend their already-quite-stained honour? Do you like flashing your naked woowoo to people and feel uncomfortable at the suggestion that it's low class and of extremely poor taste?

Regardless of where and how you stand, do us all a favour and remember what your mama tried but failed to teach you... if you don't have anything nice to say about the artist's work on her own site, then shut the fuck up.

That said, great job, 14 ~ as always, you make 99% of us laugh our heads off with your hilarious, thought-provoking, beautifully executed artwork and commentary.

And an excellent point, incidentally, about how these three refuse to pose for Playboy but instead flash it all over the place, fully aware of how many cameras are shooting from ALL angles. Most of us wouldn't think of going commando in a micro mini in the off chance someone caught a glimpse, let alone a published photograph... the only reason a paparazzi-hounded starlet would do it would be to drop a well-planned "Oops! My sexy little secret is out..."

14, You call it not only as you see it, but as it is. Bravo.

[Jason]

Thanks — I just spat coffee all over my shiny new iMac laughing at this painting. You have a real gift for capturing the grotesqueness of these graceless skanks. Love the boils on Paris' lady flaps :)

[raymi]

oh jesus

[EVA]

WOW - Brit Brit's red neck, huge feet, smeared eye make-up, pimples, and those horiffic yellow-colored-hay-resembling-greasy hair extensions - genius! Parisite and Linds are also very brilliantly painted - all 3 figures represent reality so well . . unfor. I found my new diet - looking at pix like these and other vagi-exposing pictures on the internet-
better than Low Carb - * gagging *

Wonderful work, keep it up! :-)

[Ranger B]

Ok, I have a new favourite (and I didn't think anything could beat that Renee Zellweger one). You're my fucking hero, 14.

Also, I nominate Barley Human for comment of the year. If you don't paint those barley humanoids (and no doubt you won't), I think I'll have to.

[::wendy::]

hairless girls private parts are wholey-spooky, its like the shaved girl is attempting to appeal to people who like pre-pubescent girls (who naturally don't have hair). Your picture is witty, I'd love to see it have made a comment on the 'unnaturalness' of hariless nether regions and the unnatural promotion of this pre-pubescetn state. just a thought.

[Marie]

"bovine bewilderment"...

Wow that's a really good one. It's always fun and helpful to read through all the comments. People have such keen eyes. I would never have caught the reddish hue on Britney's neck w/o someone having pointed it out. ;D Thanks!

[Rocco]

This is definitely one of your greatest and most popular illustrations yet! I think it's brilliant and absolutely hilarious. Keep it up, girl!

[Judith]

Wow! You rock! Really your best work.

[Damien]

I still can't believe Britney topped Yahoos
most searched for list, people what were you thinking!!! Hmmm maybe it was just K-Fed cyber stalking her, yeah thats it.

[Mongoloid_Dobbler]

I think the best part is the look of utterly bovine bewilderment on Brit-Brit's face!!

[Anna]

Nice work! Beautifully done! Actually, I've enjoyed all your work, but this is the first time I've commented.

[Dave Hater]

Lilly--who once kissed a boy named Dave under an apple tree--do you think it's a coincidence that they're called "paps"?

[Dave Hater]

Lilly--who once kissed a boy name Dave under an apple tree--do you think it's a coincidence that they're called "paps"?

[Jen]

I love it, but I'm thinking Lindsay looks more like Christina Applegate here

[deanna]

hey lilly, the reason you're visiting a CELEB WEBSITE that makes light of the absurdity of mainstream media and its hypocrisy is why again? shouldn't you perhaps be more focused on say an arts and crafts site or something of that nature, or perhaps a fun-filled site with ideas for christmas knick knacks? perhaps a site of your own focused on those things that may cause a bit less anxiety as opposed to this site whereby someone uses their artisitc talent for the purpose of humor and pure enjoyment. Lilly do you know what reaction formation is? Example I don't like sites that explore the nihilistic nature of celebrities showing them at their worst, discussing their bad behavior; that makes me sick. The very site of that stuff makes me ill, disgusted, nauseated. But lo and behold, you get on the web searching them out, looking and wowing in amazement at the same disgust that makes us sick. I probably shouldn't talk for 14 but I dare say I don't know many, or should I say any, mentally healthy individuals that are actively jealous of said individual's perineum that is clearly showing signs of H.Zoster II along the perineum that appears to be in the dry crusted healing stage. Call me crazy..