Ever noticed the way Sea-Monkeys were marketed back in the 70's with the way tabloid celebrities are marketed today? Both Sea-Monkeys and tabloid regulars are promoted as entertaining and attention-loving creatures who live in a world of make-believe. Celebrity stylists, makeup artists, image consultants and agents all work together to transform a marginally talented person into a super-hyped entity that seems to transcend normal human existence...just as Harold von Braunhut, creator of "Sea-Monkeys" was able to transformbrine shrimp into the illusion of playful and friendly aquatic simians who wore crowns and lived in castles. Above is my version of the ad as I imagine it would look in the pages of Star magazine. Below is the original advertisement that appeared in the comic books of the 70's.
I love Tom's platform shoes!
Posted by: Moonmaid | February 02, 2006 at 08:08 AM
In answer to your very thoughtful questions, C. Kitten:
1)The NEA would be unlikely to fund the work, altho' Glad Products, Inc. could well fill the funding void (assuming the Glad bag stayed intact through all of Jesus's flailing, thus proving the strength and durability of the product).
2) Hornets: symbolic of the impending stings of original sin. Pee: waste product rife with potential symbolism as well, but stinkier. Hurl Jesus into a sack of angry stinging insects, and he feels agonizing pain, perhaps even death. Dump pee on him and (unless he fails to cover his eyes)he just stinks. No contest. Christians prefer their martyrs agonized and dead, so pee takes the controversy trophy by a torrent (har!)...
and 3)...well, I'm laughing too hard at your questions to formulate a good response to 3. Point us to your artwork, One-Eyed One!
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | February 01, 2006 at 09:53 PM
Wow. I just happened upon this website and I bookmarked it within 2 seconds. I love it! I especially love Tom Cruise jumping around in a bowl with Oprah. I'm going to go Celeb-Monkies right now!
Ya got yourself another regular reader!
Brilliant!
Posted by: Elaine | January 28, 2006 at 07:16 AM
Viper, I gotta know: would the NEA fund Christ in a Glad bag full of hornets? Are hornets more or less controversial than a jar of pee? Would the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Hornets and Other Stinging Bugs organize demonstrations against such "art"?
Oh yeah, nice monkeys, 14. Sorry, I'm working on a cartoon about funding bad art, I'm on a roll...
Posted by: Cyclops Kitten Natividad | January 27, 2006 at 07:10 PM
Damn, the details on this flat-out knock it outta the park! The inset of Tom on the couch is so deliciously subtle, so surreptitious, that it's like a secret toy surprise to the sharp-eyed. Again, sheer, unimpeachable, utter snarky frickin' genius.
Christ in a Glad bag full of hornets, this is beautiful.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | January 26, 2006 at 11:11 PM
You know I don't think I know anyone who has ever owned sea monkeys (hence forth know by their real name 'Brine Shrimp {thanks for the conversation stopper} and seen them live longer than a week.
Totally get the point with celebs maybe our shrimp would have lasted longer with a PR team watching their bowl?
Posted by: Damien Morgan | January 26, 2006 at 02:14 PM
I saw your link at Creative Flow and decided to click, I love it.. Thanks.. You are truly creative.... Hugs x Bunmi Darling x..
Posted by: Bunmi Darling | January 25, 2006 at 03:02 PM
I'll take the $1.25, invisible-to-the-naked-eye rip-off over the celebrities any day.
Great post.
TD
Posted by: Trish | January 25, 2006 at 02:44 PM
You are able to capture Britney's slopey eyes in a way no one else has ever done! And I love the man hands and club feet on Paris! LOVE Tom's lift shoes!You have brought me more joy on this day than a plate of brownies in a bubble bath! Goddess bless you 14!
Posted by: Biscuit Bethie | January 25, 2006 at 12:38 PM
Awesome! Genius even! One more thing to add to my "wish I'd thought of it" list.
Posted by: Collin | January 25, 2006 at 11:33 AM
As someone who has wasted far too much time on a tank of Sea-Monkeys, I must say: excellent metaphor!
Posted by: Jane | January 24, 2006 at 05:21 PM
14, you are a flaming-hot bottle of Tabasco sauce in a world of bland gossip ketchup--keep up the wonderful work!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, and pretty please do some more on Britney Spears; the girl is two Pabst Blue Ribbons short of a trailer-trash tramp!
Posted by: Kristin | January 24, 2006 at 12:17 PM
Beyond genius! Tom jumping the couch in the fishbowl made me laugh so hard.
Posted by: Harry | January 24, 2006 at 10:59 AM
Haha! Nice work!
Posted by: Fug. | January 24, 2006 at 02:10 AM
To funny for words- Paris feet are the best- Jacked up toes and that lazy eye-classic. Loved Tom's shoe too.
Posted by: kc | January 23, 2006 at 10:53 PM
I saw Star Jones today (blogged about it, too). Talk about living in a bowl full of delusions! The next time you're in a bookstore, take a look at her new book.
Posted by: Surcie | January 23, 2006 at 03:50 PM
I love it.
The snouts on Paris and Tom look phallic.
So Much Love,
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | January 23, 2006 at 03:32 PM
Mere words cannot express your true genius and talent. I love you for referencing sea monkeys. You are a goddess.
xoxo
Posted by: Scout Finch | January 23, 2006 at 03:30 PM
Oh my Gawd!!!!! I remember crying to my mother that I wanted those! One of the neighbors did get some, and man! It was a disappointment to say the least. Just little specks swimming around.
But I'm sure that things have improved with time, so I'm in! I'm buying them today!
Love ya, 14!
Posted by: Chansmom | January 23, 2006 at 01:30 PM
This is brillaint.
Posted by: Use Once & Destroy | January 23, 2006 at 11:27 AM
Oh my god that is your absolute best ever! Better than "Me So Pretty Beckham"! Damn that is funny! Britney and the baby are hilarious--him with the Cheetos and she with the zits. Should have had a Kevin shimp going after Paris. I love the 54 payments of $29.99 freakin' classic! I love how Tom is attacking Oprah's couch in the bowl. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Absolute brillance! :)
Posted by: Long Island Irish | January 23, 2006 at 10:41 AM
14, you are a GENIUS of epic proportions!
Posted by: Annie | January 23, 2006 at 08:20 AM
Heehee! And Paris has gnarly toes even as a brine shrimp! I love it!
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | January 23, 2006 at 06:44 AM
Wow, it all makes sense now! My spawn has sea monkeys and he loves to watch and feed them for fun! Yis yis yis!
Posted by: midevil | January 23, 2006 at 04:51 AM
Absolutely brilliant - I love it!
Posted by: Cami | January 23, 2006 at 04:33 AM