Gallery of the Absurd

The Disturbingly Cute Little Forest Mushroom

For Kelly Osbourne, every day is Halloween. She's always decked out in wild costumes and dramatic hair styles. She bucks the trend of what most of Hollywood considers "fashionable" and she pays dearly for it. Just about every week, you'll find her tucked in the "Fashion Disasters" and "Hair Traumas" features of the tabloids.  Commenting on Kelly's hairstyle seen above, In-Touch magazine screeched, "Kelly looks like she's entering a war zone with that bowl-shaped helmet of hair" and then went on to compare her to Moe from the Three Stooges. When I looked at the picture, I was overcome with the sudden desire to study the field of Mycology.

Boo!

Paris Hilton: American Royalty

Paris Hilton was recently quoted as saying "I'm the closest thing to American royalty."  Wow, that's quite the statement. I'm sure Americans everywhere are brimming with pride as our royal highness Princess Paris shamelessly dangles and shimmies her unbearable dullness in a vapid lap dance for the world to see. According to our beloved, yet delusional Princess, royalty is characterized by shilling herself out to low grade hamburger chains, starring in a sex video, and babbling "that's hot" because she can't come up with anything else to say.  Princess Paris claims she wants to "build an empire" with her "brand" and 14 predicts it will look a lot like Wal-Mart.