Puff Doodles the Clown

The ostentatious and egotistical media clown appears in public dripping in diamonds and wearing custom-made suits while inexplicably wearing a ridiculous plastic crown on his head and a fur coat.  He's also been spotted jet skiing around his yacht in Cannes while wearing a fluffy white bathrobe.  Are we supposed to take him seriously?

All that showing off..... and yet the mouth will not close.

Star magazine recently ran this photo of P. Dingles pouring $300 bottles of Cristal champange all over the floor. I altered it a little bit because I heard the Diddy gets angry as a snake when anyone dares to point out his folly.

Comments

[8gb pro duo]

That’s what his prison name would have been if they’d convicted his guilty ass back when he was banging that skank J-Lo.

[Zmick]

It's not that Wee-Little-Diddy he can't close his mouth- its that he is in a perpetual exaggerated grin over the fact that enough (too many) people are nill-minded enough to take him seriously, thus causing unwarranted continued aquisition of profit.

In short- there are enough people as equally tasteless as Dim Witty for him to continue making millions off of. He's one of those people (like any Hilton of this generation) who are lucky they are rich- for they could never survive otherwise.

[Lady of Light]

Your portraits are absolutely BRILLIANT. You are right on the pulse of pop culture. You're the new Andy Warhol on steroids!

Annoying person and soooo ugly!

[Chiko]

Best site, best art!
Freakin' Dick Piddly's moronic lameness is captured perfectly. Hard to believe he pulled J-Lo. ROFL.

[Kate]

It is called "lip incompetence". You can look it up. The condition is sometimes related to what is called "long face syndrome" where the maxilla is vertically too long, and the discrepency b/w the size of the upper lip and the size of the bottom lip develops because of this. He looks like he has this b/c of his long lower facial height and horizontally weak chin. Or his upper lip just didn't grow enough vertically.

Honestly, some ppl have to live with this deformity or undergoe long, painful, risky surgery to correct it. The condition is also *not* related in any way to intelligence. In fact, the smartest kid in my school had this problem (and he has attended Harvard on a full academic scholarship).

When the man has done so many stupid things to insult, why do you choose his looks instead, which is something he can't help anyway? Why is everyone so obsessed w/appearance? Why not just insult him for being an ass, which I believe he is and which is something he *can* help.

And please have a little more sensivity to ppl w/deformities--like cleft lips, underbites, etc.--as this is not something they chose to have, and those types of insults can be extremely emotionally damaging. I believe it is that attitude, and the shame that follows it, that has contributed to the mutilation of ppl via extreme plastic surgery.

[sunflower]

I'm in shock here - why has everyone failed to realise that the reason his trap stays open perpetually is because his TEEF ARE TOO BIG??? Pulling his lips over those GINORMOUS tombstones must be as hard as pulling on pantyhose thats 3 sizes too small - it might happen, but you're terrified they'll rip!

[moonmaid]

>>He'd change his name to Phil Dinkowitz and strike up a career scrubbing toilets with Q-Tips between his teeth while wearing an assless chicken suit if it pulled in the Benjamins>>

omg, my side hurts from laughing! yall are hilarious -

[Kim]

Man, I thought I was the only one who HATED that mans mouth and the fact that it always hangs open. Not only that, if you look too closely at photographs of him you could become blinded by the "spittle shine" from his lips. I guess he can't help but drool constantly, I mean, the spit's gotta go somewhere and since he can't close his mouth to swallow and all...well, you know what I mean. Anyhow, Your 'P Diddy' post has vindicated me!

[Ali]

hahaha i love this site! he really never closes his mouth and it gives him a slightly Napoleondynamiteesque type look dontcha think?

[Sean Jean Wheels]

This guy has his hand in everything! I guess it's good to be the king...

[fatima]

this is funny you should have a laugh

[Rusty]

On behalf of all 'tards everywhere, Linda. I'm offended.

[Long Island Irish]

LOL, this is going to sound VERY mean but I've always noticed his mouth hanging open as you have so aptly displayed in the above clip and it has always reminded me of the Special Ed kids. I'm serious! Have you ever seen kids with Down Syndrome? Their mouths are like that too, maybe we now know why Puffy--or Puff Daddy or P. Diddy or whatever the hell he is calling himself these days--acts the way he does; He's an in- closet retard!
Note: I know that sounds really awful and I'm sorry to anyone who has a mentally disabled person in their family who I have offened. I didn't mean to make anyone upset and I hope that no offense has been taken by my post. :)

[LINDA]

I LOVE HIM WITH JLO!!!!
no he looks sad with this bitch kim porter

I thought it was just me who noticed that he could not shut his mouth to save his life. Ha ha.

[Rob]

oh shit, i can hardly breath! cant stop laughing... holding diddly's lower lip up with a diamond encrusted poker! thats priceless.

[jabarr]

his mouth should have its own pepsi truck.. haha love this site

[candy b]

Hahahahahahah hahahahahahaha!

The guy lives and acts like a pompous jackass - he deserves a little ridicule.

Well-drawn, 14.

[gauthier]

I just landed on this little gallery while brainlessly surfing the net for the uptenth time and man! It just made my day!
I loathe Poop Crappy as much as anyone here, and I must agree; why oh why can't he keep that gaping gob of him shut?
It only adds to the insane level of moronical dazed stupidity oozing from every single cologne-drowned pore of his...
sombody end this man, please!
I can't believe the used-to-be-very-respectful fashion society handed him an award for his clothing line (which is designed by his assistants for chrissake!)

[Ilsa]

I don't know what's more annoying about that picture: the glasses, the gaping pie-hole, or the crown. He's a royal fool.

[astrid]

Can't P. Shitty hire a sycophantic, bow-tie wearing Uncle Tom shitclown to HOLD that lower lip up for him? With a diamond-encrusted poker? Oh no, then he'd also need diamond-encrusted Breathe Right strips in order to aspirate like an actual Homo Sapien. Which he, of course, is not.

[Bittahz]

Ya'll are mean!

Leave the man alone. It's not his fault his bottom lip is heavy.

If you guys took the time and looked more closely, you'll realize that his mouth is indeed closed.

It's just the weight from his bottom lip causes separation from from his top lip.....thus exposing his teeth 24/7.

[mdtnla]

stop hating.......

Puff daddy has more money than any of you will ever see in your life time. Do you think he really gives a rats ass what you think about his bottom lip?

[slickdpdx]

I hope he breaks a bottle of champagne over his OWN head.

[Phoenix]

I hate Puff-whatever. His mouth never does close... Do you think he has to brush extra hard to get the crusted flies out?

[DonnaJEM]

Just writing the word bling makes me cringe. Probably the MOST overused word in history. And it's worse when white people say it and think they sound cool. But when Poofy says it, I just imagine crusty white crap in the corners of his gaping pie hole. Yikes. Your site rocks!

[JP]

thats so true, I didn't realized until now

[Brian]

Superb!

[Knuckles McGillicutty]

So...what's this I hear about the New York Post and an upcoming blurb about this site?!
Congrats, Missy. I knew getting out of Seattle would be good for ya!

[Genevieve]

I just found you and I love your artwork. Plus I love the comedy & celebrity of it all :) Definetly going to be checking in often.

p.s. I always wondered about his never closing lips too. But you're the first one that I know that's mentioned it.

p.s.s. P.Niss, you're an idiot.

[thing]

wow...i love, love, love this site. great work.

[horrific monster]

You are absolutely fantastic!!!

[Viper Tetsu]

He'd change his name to Phil Dinkowitz and strike up a career scrubbing toilets with Q-Tips between his teeth while wearing an assless chicken suit if it pulled in the Benjamins.

To paraphrase Yoda, Exquisitely excruciating, your portraiture is...

[Knuckles McGillicutty]

Every time I see that mouth...that gaping maw...I think it's the sort of thing that should be wrapped around a hook and a bit of unfortunate worm.

[kumzooloo]

Blech! the mouth magnification is right on the money. Nasty man! Could you imagine anything worse than having to kiss P. Dingles? Ugghhh.

[Tempest]

I love, love this stuff. Would it be okay if I make LJ icons from some of these? I will give due credit.

[amber]

all your stuff is great but "the mouth breathing bling king" takes the cake. you say it ALL so well.

[Mia]

oh how i loathe puff daddy