Gallery of the Absurd

Tara Reid's Cartoonish Cartoon

Tara Reid is once again attempting to distance herself from her boozy party girl image, but I've always thought she should own it. Embrace it. Exploit it! In a recent OK! Weekly interview, Tara tried to downplay her association with booze 'n boobs by referring to all the media attention surrounding it as "cartoonish". BRILLIANT! I dropped the magazine, grabbed my sketch book and immediately began crafting a Tara Reid character along with several storyboards. I've named my animation studio Floozy Toons, named the cartoon Drunken Party Girl, and have even written a few short episodes designed as interstitials. I'll secure a team of animators, find a network willing to run it, and will eventually hire writers and producers to develop a full-length animated sitcom. Tara, have your people contact my people. Medium: gouache on board, digital color.

Oh and speaking of boobs, Gallery of the Absurd was mentioned in the November issue of Maxim. We were also featured in the latest edition of Germany's Frankfurter Allgemeine Sonntagszeitung. Thank you!

Celebrity Valentines: Love Comes in Many Forms

Although Tara Reid seems to have recently cleaned up her act, she still comes to mind whenever someone mentions the term "party girl". Hundreds of photos documenting Tara's boozy party antics exist on the Internet, and what strikes me is how she always looks so happy as she clings her cocktail close to her heart. This Tara Reid Valentine embodies the giddiness and rapid heartbeat we experience when we realize we have fallen hopelessly in LOVE.

Obsolete Tara

While on vacation I was flipping through a few gossip tabloids. Most of the photos and articles are pretty much the same dreck week after week, but one small blurb caught my eye: Madonna Wine. Yep, that's right. Now you can drink the essence of Madonna with her new "Confessions on a Dance Floor" line of collectible bottles.  Doesn't this woman have enough money and exposure?  Ah well, I'll take care of Madonna and her material empire in an upcoming post.

Now let's take a look at Tara Reid. If a company really wanted to sell booze, the best thing to do would be to put Reid's mug on the label. A liquor company such as Absolut could license Tara's image and then she could go on a worldwide drinking binge while promoting the company. The campaign would generate millions for the company even though they'd have to endure a few minor embarassments (Anna Nicole Smith and Trim Spa come to mind). Page Six referred to Tara as a C-List Booze Beast just recently, so it seems that Tara won't be ridding herself of the "party girl" label any time soon. Tara honey, it's time to cash in on your disgrace.

Happy New Year

Tara Reid and her cast of Pink Dancing Elephants wish you a happy and prosperous 2006. Tara says "May your heart be filled with love, your spirit filled with joy, and your liver bloated with alcohol..PARTY!!  WOOOOOOO!"

Note to the nasty bloke in the U.K. who steals my Tara Reid images and then obscures my name and puts his own:  If you want to take them and add them to your collection of drunken Tara Reid photos, please link them back to Gallery of the Absurd. Besides, there's an infinite number of drunk Tara Reid photos out there, so no need for you to swipe my illustrations, k?

The Future of Tara Reid

I spent most of my weekend engaged in time travel. I always kick myself when I forget to bring my digital camera along, but this time I slipped it in my pocket.  Traveling through so many hyperdimensional wormholes can really wear a girl out, so I thought I'd stop and get some coffee. The only place open in Los Angeles in the year 2025 was a seedy bar on Sunset, so I walked in, sat at the bar and saw Tara Reid sitting at the other end.  I snapped her photo and figured I'd share it with you.

The Real Taradise

Tara Reid has given up her ambition to become a serious actress and has finally embraced her image as overindulgent party girl. Smart move.  Why be anything other than yourself? She has fun, travels the globe in pursuit of reckless hedonism, and amuses (or disgusts) us with paparazzi photos of her falling down drunken antics. Thing is....one doesn't need talent to do what she does, so why does she have her own TV show?  And have you seen the Taradise promotional image? I think they should replace the sleek airbrushed photo of Tara with one of those paparazzi photos. That way, we can see just how bloated and boozy Taradise really is.

haw haw!!