So my friend Kipling suggested that I paint a "goatse" celebrity. She says, "You should see all the goatse inspired art all over the Internet...there's all sorts of web sites devoted to it."
14 "What's a goatse? Is it some new derivation of furry fandom?"
Kipling "Nah, it's the most disgusting photo on the Internet."
14 "Really? How did I not know about it...Where can I see it?!?!"
Kipling "Are you sure you want to see it?"
14 "The most disgusting thing on the Internet...yep, I gotta see it right away."
And that was how I lost my last remaining shreds of childlike innocence.
Sure, the goatse image was horrifying, but it was tame compared to The Most Disgusting Page EVER in Star magazine. One day I turn the page and see a giant photo of Star and Al "kissing" along with the headline, "Star Jones Reynold's SEX SECRETS!" NOOOOOO!!!
NO. NO NO NO. Those words should never, ever be used in a sentence together. So,
as vulgar as this subject is, I have now added to the ever expanding
collection of goatse inspired "art" on the Internet. I'm sure this will
do wonders for my career.