Gallery of the Absurd

Photoshop in a Can: Star Jones Edition

Just a few short years ago, Star Jones was a bloated biomass who draped herself in the pelts of dead animals while gobbling up media attention with the same gusto as she gobbled up bacon double cheeseburgers. Now, thanks to gastric bypass surgery and the magic of Photoshop in a Can, she has a brand new look and a brand new job.

Even though Star Jones is no longer obese, she still loves to adorn her diva self with loads of fur. She was thrilled to learn she can use Photoshop in a Can to airbrush away her mink coat anytime she finds herself confronted by those pesky folks from PETA. She carries a purse-sized can of the stuff with her at all times. Medium: Photos of dead rats, snarling possums, lifeless foxes, a squirrel that tried to attack me at the park (seriously), a mutilated cow left behind by space aliens, and Star Jones.

Star might be using a wee bit too much Photoshop in a Can. She's gone and made herself look like a cross between a venus flytrap and a wet praying mantis. Stop now while you can Star! There's no revert or undo button! Medium: ink, acrylic on paper, digital color.

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The Most Miraculous Product Ever Created: Photoshop Beauty Spray

Photoshop, the world's most widely used photo retouching software, has caused a massive shake-up in the cosmetic, fitness and plastic surgery industries after launching its newest product, Photoshop in a Can. Insiders claim this new form of sprayable Photoshop will eliminate the need for cosmetics, hair styling products, fitness centers and elective cosmetic surgery . Analysts predict the product will cause the beauty industry to collapse and thousands of jobs will be cut. Hair salons and gyms across the world will shut down. The City of Beverly Hills, CA has called in the National Guard to assist with the angry swarms of protesting plastic surgeons and personal fitness trainers. Photoshop in a Can promises effortless beauty and perfection with one push of a button. Madonna, Gwen Stefani, and many others are said to be hoarding cases of the stuff. Even the President of France is said to use it. Now, even the most homely individual can achieve the illusion of impossible beauty and unattainable perfection so widely pumped out by today's media. Truly a miracle in a can.

Photoshop in a Can was used for the Britney Spears Allure magazine shoot. Sources say Britney arrived at the photo shoot as a dishelved mess. Her makeup was 3 days old, her wig was fried, and it looked like she hadn't bathed in days. No problem, Photoshop in a Can transformed her into a comely young vixen with a tight body and soft flowing hair....all with just one touch of a button. Medium: graphite and ink on paper, Photoshop. Photo from Allure.com