Gallery of the Absurd

Have You Ever Noticed....

how much dog food and people food seem to resemble each other these days?

DOG FOOD

PEOPLE FOOD

Sitting in my local coffee shop, I began flipping through the savings coupon section of the Sunday newspaper. I noticed several coupons for dog food and dog treats mixed in with the typical junk food offerings for humans: Hungry Man, Toaster Strudels, Lunchables, and Campbell's Chunky Soup....shudder.

DOG TREATS

PEOPLE TREATS

Really, it all becomes a blur if you start taking notice of it. I bet you could give the cashier a coupon for Cesar Canine Cuisine and they'd take 50 cents off your Van De Kamp's Fish Sticks without even batting an eye.

Observe how disconcerting these ads become when a dog is added to the image.

I think the point has been made. Medium: Scanned Sunday coupons, doggy models General Otis and Abigail Bunny Rocket.

Which is Real, Which is Fake? Part ONE

Can you guess which of these "food" items is a real product and which is the fake? Have you noticed how many products on grocery store shelves seem so cartoon-like and ludicrous? It's amazing how certain food companies transform truckloads of sugar, buckets of corn syrup, a dash of trans fat, a heaping tablespoon of processed sludge, and a generous sprinkling of chemicals into what they call a "snack". Good luck with solving the following 3 puzzles:

Pizza Hut has just added Butter Snackers to their menu and it's selling like hotcakes. The Butter Snacker consists of an entire stick of butter that has been dipped in batter, deep fried, rolled in sugar, drizzled with icing, and it's all topped off with candy sprinkles.

Ever since Domino's Pizza added the Oreo Dessert Pizza to its menu, sales have skyrocketed. An entire bag of Oreos are crumbled over a sweetened pizza crust and then the whole thing is drenched in vanilla icing. Get the door, it's the grim reaper.

Stumped? The answer is here.

Which is Real, Which is Fake? Part THREE

Burger King is attempting to expand its product offerings onto store shelves. Are you craving Burger King fries smothered in salt and ketchup but don't feel like heading over to the drive-thru? No worries. Now you can purchase Burger King Ketchup & Fries flavored potato snacks in grocery and convenience stores. I hear Britney Spears was spotted munching on a bag as she was photographed leaving a public bathroom. Hey, you never know when the munchies will strike. That's why Burger King has gone to the trouble to make it so easy for you to snack whenever you feel like it. They've even graced us with Flame Broiled Burger-Flavored Chips! When I'm hungry, there's nothing I want more than potato chips covered in hamburger-flavored chemicals - how about you?

It's amazing the astounding number of menu items Taco Bell is able to concoct by using just a few basic ingredients. Cheese, refried beans, tortillas, spicy chicken and beef are magically turned into a wide-ranging menu of Gorditos, tacos, Cheesy Beefy Melts, chalupas, Mexican pizza, taquitos, quesadillas, Meximelts, burritos, and Enchiritos. Now Taco Bell is offering bite-sized chips called Crunchitos. Shaped like little tacos and filled with real nacho cheese, these snacks are sure to satisfy your cheesiest of desires. It's like a fiesta in a bag!

Answer here.

Rachael Ray is a Donut Pusher

Rachael Ray has agreed to shill a multi-million dollar marketing campaign designed to raise brand awareness of Dunkin' Donuts. Very soon, you'll see her perky face all over TV as she cheerfully chirps nonsense about how Dunkin' Donuts can be a "healthful" addition to a balanced diet. Our spies tell us that food-loving Rach is planning a donut-themed cookbook to hit the shelves this summer. You'll find healthy and fun donut recipes for everything from appetizers to drinks to full-course dinners....all easily prepared in only 15 minutes. Medium: acrylic on board, photoshop.

Also included with the book is a handy set of full-color recipe cards for her most popular dishes. Learn how to make Rachael's signature cocktail, the vodka Donutini. Amaze and delight your friends with Rachael's deelish Donut "Sammy"

That crafty Rachael, she's even figured out how to prepare a healthy salad using powdered donuts as an ingredient. This page scanned from her upcoming cook book shows you just how easy and delicious her recipes are. As Rachael says, "mmmmmmmmmm". Photos and food styling by 14.