
Another day, another
Paris Hilton litigation. This time, her target is
Hallmark Cards. The humorless heiress wasn't pleased when she discovered
this Hallmark card depicting her as a waitress and using her trademarked phrase, "That's Hot". Paris is suing the greeting card company for $500,000 and Hallmark isn't backing down. A spokeswoman for Hallmark defended the card as parody and said "These cards take a satirical look at news and gossip surrounding these public figures, including Paris Hilton, and we do not believe Hallmark has violated any of Ms. Hilton's rights.". That may be true, but can Hallmark legally use her unauthorized image for profit? I guess we'll soon find out. Pairing my illustrations with actual
Paris Hilton quotes, I decided to create a parody of the parody with my own line of Paris Hilton greeting cards. Brighten up someone's day with this cheerful breezy card (pictured above) featuring one of Ms. Hilton's most inspiring revelations,
I don't really think, I just walk.

Here's the perfect card to send your "Girls Night Out" pals. Designed to resemble
this Hallmark card, your gal pals will be reminded just how lucky they are to be free from
all the annoying fame and recognition that
Paris Hilton must face each time she goes out.

Help impressionable young
tweens aspire toward dignity and class with this candid, yet charming photo of
Paris Hilton shamelessly flashing her undies to a crowd of photographers. Paris is a dazzling
role model for your precious little daughters.

One of Hallmark's more popular greetings features a character called
Little Birdy.
Paris Hilton is rather bird-like, so I've created a character called Big Birdy. Big Birdy perches on its branch high in the forest while it ponders the puzzling definition of a
soup kitchen.

Of all
Paris Hilton's vapid blather,
this quote is my all-time favorite. Commenting on Hilton's "royalty", writer
Michael Bryan wrote, "Paris is perfect for elevation to the American peerage. Scion of dynastic family wealth she had no part of creating, sporting a name that functions as a brand, vain to the point of self-obsession, possessed of the moronic beauty of youth, superficially glamorous but morally and intellectually impoverished, famous mainly for public lewdness and exhibitionism, owning the mating habits of a Bonobo, and sporting a massive air of entitlement, Paris is eminently qualified to be a member of America's theoretical peerage. In fact, she is a strong candidate for America's Princess." This card honors our Princess and reminds others how important she is to our country.