Jeff Polage has issued an apology to his fans for his racy photos in Insanity Fair magazine. "I was like, forced by Annie Leibovitz to pose this skanky way and now I am like, so embarrassed. She like, assured me that my back hair wouldn't show up in the photo, but you can totally see it," said the unemployed actor. "My career is over thanks to Annie and her manipulative web of lies and deceit!"
Whenever Gary Buseyshows up to an event or agrees to an interview, you can expect an erratic tempest of nonsensical utterances, unsettling glares, unpredictable outbursts followed by bear hugs and then more unpredictable outbursts, and best of all, the spewing forth of didactic gibberish through a mouthful of clattering teeth. How can you not love (from a distance, of course) the crazy that is Gary Busey? I've decided to get back to work on my Gossip Trading Cards series, a collection of trading cards based on the diverse archetypes found in the world of celebrity gossip. I've already completed cards for Lindsay Lohan and Papa Joe Simpson, and many more are to come. Medium: Colored pencil and ink scrawled in sketchbook while riding in car hurtling down I-5 toward Los Angeles.
The back of the card includes one of my favorite Gary quotes. Find more of his wisdom here.
When I saw the photo of Rose McGowan squatting on the sidewalk to pick up her goofy-looking dog, I felt a kinship. I've been there. Like Rose, I have a bug-eyed boston terrier...and like Rose, I've often found myself in regrettable positions while walking my dog on the city sidewalks. All I can say is thank goodness the paparazzi doesn't follow me around. I asked Jeff Polage to throw on a wig and stuff his feet into a pair of pink high heels while picking up my dog, Abigail. Poor Jeff couldn't quite squat as impressively as the lovely Rose was photographed doing, but then he's not used to wearing high heels either.
You asked for it. I've been in Los Angeles all week with my camera, my laptop and my actor pal Jeff Polage. He's getting more work these days and even made an appearance in Iron Man. Sure, he only appears on screen for two seconds, but it's clear he's giving Robert Downey Jr. a run for his money.
In order to achieve the full Carrot Top effect as shown above, we used a ratty old wig, cheap eyeliner and scotch tape to pull Jeff's eyebrows skyward.
We've got another photo shoot scheduled today and our props include a blonde wig, a hot pink bikini, and a couple of cantaloupes. Can you guess who our victim might be?
When I spotted the "Scientology BOOT CAMP FOR KATIE!" headline on a recent copy of Star magazine, I knew I had to investigate. I called in favors from an underground cartel of international spies I associate with and demanded they secure a copy of the Scientology Boot Camp Handbook to share with my readers. While they were only able to scan four pages of the handbook before being ambushed by the SSSS (Secret Scientology Surveillance Squad), it's enough to give us a glimpse inside the secretive compound where Katie Holmes and countless others have been held. Below are the other scans in no particular order:
Star magazine claims Scientology Boot Camp consists of "grueling lie detector tests, 36-hour auditing sessions, and constant surveillance", but the magazine never mentioned the entertaining recreational activities participants enjoy during their stay. Despite the barbed wire fences and forced interrogation, Scientology boot camp can be barrels of fun. For more recreational activities, such as Wig-Making with John Travolta, take a look here.
Okay, now I'm jealous. Scientology Boot Camp victims participants get to fly in vintage DC-8 Interstellar Space Planes! Not only that, they'll sleep in a realistic-looking Mothership Dormitory. Hold me back, I'm this close to signing up!
Each handbook features a special introductory letter from Tom Cruise welcoming PCs to clear their engrams and avoid SP influence during RPF telepathic regeneration ORC assignments. Medium: Digital collage. Created in collaboration with Candy Kirby. Letter from Tom Cruise written by Candy.
Each time I glance at a photo of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, all I'm able to see is a blur of predictable colors (see below). Take for example all those ridiculousstagedphotos of them prancing about on the beach. Their hair dissolves into a floating rectangle of yellow-blonde. Exposed flesh translates into large amounts of peach and light orange, which dominates the image. If they're smiling, flashes of blinding white might appear. Depending on what color bikini Heidi is wearing, lurid infusions of hot pink or zebra print cuts through the monotony of the flesh and sand tones and reminds the viewer that they're almost naked, but not quite.
Mark Rothko (1903 - 1970) was a Russian born American artist best known for his large-scale paintings of cloud-like rectangular forms of color floating against a solid color background. I seriously doubt he'd find any interest in painting the vapidity and force-fed "entertainment" that Heidi and Spencer represent, but if he did choose to paint them, this is how I imagine the canvas would look. Medium: Oil on linen with a splash of digital paint.
Heidi and Spencer as they appear to me. Remarkably, you can still recognize them.
Wouldn't it be amusing to remove all the headlines from this Rolling Stone cover...except for the one on top?
I had a hard time painting 15-year old Miley Cyrus because when one stares at her for a long time, she looks like a chubby cheeked child one minute, and then seconds later, she appears as a hung-over, hard-bitten, 20-something party girl waking up in the bed of a stranger and in bad need of a shower. Do I paint her looking innocent, or do I pick up on the overt sexuality simmering through her come-hither gaze? I was never able to make a decision. I'm quite curious of your opinions about Miley's Vanity Fair photo shoot - is it kandy koated kiddie porn or simply an artistic portrayal of a young girl seeking the spotlight? Medium: liquid pencil, watercolor, acrylic, ink on paper, digital color. SOLD
The easiest way to identify this curious species is by the identical bowl cut hairstyle each family member adorns itself with or by the wide-mouthed grimace they display when cackling. Despite the fact the female towers over the male, she submits to his control and has been observed taking on his hobbies, habits and interests. The male is easily agitated, excitable and aggressive toward anyone who dares to criticize his peculiar belief system. If your car breaks down on the highway, you had better hope a Cackling Bowl Cut Chimp is nearby because they're the only ones who can help. Medium: Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri: liquid pencil and watercolor on paper. Palm trees: digital sketch. Original sketch shown here.
Kipling West is a prolific artist who among other things, illustrates the spam she receives in her email box each week. Kipling says she's inspired by spam because she enjoys seeing the beauty and entertaining weirdness in something so intrusive and annoying. These two illustrations made me laugh and I wanted to share them with my readers. You can see more of her work on her blog Fresh Spam.