The WOW Storefront Gallery folks put on some of the most entertaining and fun pop culture-themed art shows in Los Angeles and I'm pleased to be included in their latest - Dollypop, a celebration of beloved country star Dolly Parton. Opening this Friday, Sept. 12 in conjunction with with the premiere of the Broadway adaptation of Parton's 9 to 5: The Musical, at the Ahmanson Theater in downtown Los Angeles. I hear they're transforming the gallery into a country barn jamboree, complete with bales of hay and chickens. Oh my, I think I may have to attend this show. My painting appears above, but all the sparkling, glittery, iridescent paint I used doesn't show up on the monitor. It's very sparkly, just like Dolly. Medium: acrylic, iridescent ink and glitter on paper. Size 11 x 14 framed.
Celebrities are well-known for gracing their babies with highly unusual and potentially embarrassing names. According to the New York Times, "If celebrities are the new American aristocracy, the exotic baby name can sometimes function as the equivalent of a royal title, a way for a privileged caste to bestow the power of its legacy on future generations."
You've probably wondered how our American aristocracy dreams up such memorable monikers as Pilot Inspektor or Moxie Crimefighter - but wonder no more! The Celebrity Baby Names book is now available to the masses. No longer must you name your baby with such common, downright proletariat names such as Steven or Ashley. Give your babies titles of royalty! Glistening Reptile or Cerulean Cosmonaut are names you can be proud of as you bestow your legacy of power upon future generations. Medium: ink on paper, digital color, photoshop.
The book is so easy to use, even a monkey could do it! Just open to a random page, close your eyes and point! Over 100,000 names to choose from. Medium: photoshop illustration.
I find it increasingly difficult to distinguish between real products and product parodies these days. For instance, I keep getting promotional emails from a woman named Jessica Goon. Ms. Goon wants me to promote a line of pubic hair dye called "Betty" on my blog, and perhaps mention the clever stencils available for transforming "the hair down there" into a charming topiary of peace signs and lightening bolts. It took me several moments to realize that this woman named Goon was serious and that the products really existed. There ya go Jessica, I mentioned it on my blog. I digress...
When I saw the promotional website for Christina Aguilera's new fragrance Inspire, I figured it was a Mad Magazine parody. Inspire?? The perfect cheesy name for a celebrity fragrance. I noticed the photoshopped imagery and silly concept of the perfume bottle enclosed inside ethereal bubbles of pink froth. Ha, good one. After reading the product description, I had a nice hearty chuckle over how Engrish-like it came across - The fragrance will remind you not to drift along with the crowd, but will inspire you to stand up for what you believe in and strive for your dreams. Duped again, it soon became clear that Inspire is the real deal. Frustrated, I made my own parody. Medium: Classy photo of Christina found on google, photoshop, digital paint.
You and your baby will love Jenna's tasteful "twosies" from her baby apparel collection, "I'm a Porn Star, Baby." Made from 100% cozy nylon and polyester, each piece features an adorable lace top with plunging neckline and matching lace-up panties with attached thigh-high booties. Medium: ink on paper, digital color.
Jenna's favorite item from her collection is the Dual Action Feeding Bottle made with genuine lifelike silicone. "It's going to be a big hit in Los Angeles because the bottle is designed to more closely resemble the body type of the average Beverly Hills woman", says Jenna. "It's also a smart solution for all the twins being born these days. I've already sent a case to Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez, and the countless other celebrities with twins." Medium: digital illustration.
Jenna's official commissioned portrait. Medium: Digital illustration. Idea for nursery collection came from a witty GOTA commenter.UPDATE:Gallery of the Absurd and It's Candy TV will collaborate occasionally on the newly launched Celebrity Crap Network (CCN), the leading interactive multi-channel peddler of useless merchandise endorsed by already-rich celebrities. We guarantee that all items sold on CCN are unoriginal and of shoddy construction -- and that the associated celebrities have little to nothing to do with the actual planning, design or creation of these items. First up, the Olsen Twins Jewelry Collection.
After posting the Shine of the Brangeloonie, a few GOTA readers requested a shrine for the Claymate species. I thought about what the average Claymate might appreciate and after careful study, concluded that most are likely to be collectors of the sort of trinkets seen advertised in the back of Ladies Home Journal. There's a good chance many of them own unicorn figurines, music boxes, frightening dolls, Disney trinkets, or somethingatrocious by Thomas Kinkade. I realize it's a gross generalization, but I'm sticking to my instincts after examining severalClaymatefansites. I believe I've created a dazzling Clay Aiken tribute they won't be able to resist: The Clay Aiken Singing Angel Music Box.
I was right. Look at the happy faces and joyous camaraderie of the Claymates as they show off their Clay Aiken Singing Angel Music Box during their Claymate-themed pizza party in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Kidding aside, please do visit the most amazing Claymate site I've ever come across. They bring a plastic bunny named Ms. Bucky to the Claymate parties and feed it wine and make it watch Clay Aiken videos. Genius. Medium: Photo composite, digital paint, Clay's head courtesy of Wenn, this post directly inspired by this dlisted entry.
In response to John McCain's controversial celebrity ad, Barack Obama's campaign released this Heidi Montag endorsed poster today. Insiders claim Senator McCain thought his own campaign was responsible for the poster and after viewing it, proudly informed reporters his campaign is striving to attract younger voters by using "talented actresses" such as Montag. Campaign officials quickly ushered the stuttering McCain away from the microphones and explained that Obama's camp was responsible for the ad. Witnesses say McCain began pumping his fists as he burst into a fit of Hulk-like fury and berated his cowering employees for not coming up with the idea themselves. Medium: Graphite on paper, digital color.
UPDATE: I find it amusing a pro McCain ad magically showed up on my blog next to the drawing of McCain looking like a half-dead angry chipmunk. Readers are emailing me to have it removed, but I take sick pleasure in it being there and even grabbed a screen shot of it. And no, I'm not a McCain supporter.
Something about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's habit of posing like cloying robotic clowns in staged photographs reminds me of those simplistic Dick and Jane books that were used to teach kids to read back in the 1950's. Riveting story lines involving the adventures of Dick and Jane typically went like this: See Dick run. Run, Dick, run. Run, run, run. Jane has a toy. It is a red toy. Heidi and Spencer are about as interesting and complexas sawdust as those repetitive Dick and Jane stories, so why not use them in an updated version?
After reading blog comments under the announcement of the Jolie-Pitt Twins yesterday, I witnessed first hand the raving insanity of the frothing Brangeloonies. Similar to the Claymates in their blind devotion and ceaseless worship of famous people they don't even know, the Brangeloonies were out in full force yesterday practically declaring the birth of The Twins a national holiday and labeling anyone who dared to disagree as "haters" or "trolls". How very pre-school! A commenter might write something as innocent as "what's the big deal, so lots of babies were born that day" and within minutes a stomping crowd of torch bearing witch-hunters are at his throat. Another curious trait of the Brangeloonie is the nearly unanimous vitriol aimed at Jennifer Aniston. Brad and Jen divorced 3 years ago, but in the snarling eyes of the Brangeloonie, somehow she's still an unwilling player. I collected some of the goodies from variousblogs to share with you. And no, I did not make any of these up - they're all 100% real:
"I only want to celebrate and sing her praises. I have been down on my knees all morning, where I know she would want me to be, blessing this holy family. god bless the jolie-pitts!"
"OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG—– My life now has meaning. You guys, today is totally my birthday…. and my mom’s name is Vivian! (I know darling Vivienne is spelled differently, but still)This is the first thing I’ve been able to share with the blessed Jolie-Pitts. I am over the moon."
"The trolls are really losing it, they are dying of envy. I won’t even give a second of my time reading or posting about a person I don’t like. That’s the power of Angelina, they can’t get away from her."
"This is such exciting news and the lovely posts are a pleasure to read from you JP fans. Makes it easy to bypass the unhappy jealous hateful people who cant help but show their ugliness at such a blessed time. Nothing can take away our joy today."
"I’m really getting tired of being hated on just because I want people to be happy. Babies are a gift from God, especially from people as wonderful as Brad and Angie. All you Aniston (yuck) lovers out there are just jealous that he’s happy and successful now. I think she needs to adopt an Indian baby next or something even more exotic to add to the beauty that is their family. Maybe one from Romania?"
"By the crazy reaction from the haters, we know Jen Aniston is miserable and in pain right now. hehehe. Brad got really emotional as he cut the ambilical cords, awww. I couldn’t even imagine how thrilled they both are."
"This should be a day of celebration, yet everyone is just so MEAN. Why can’t the twins and the rest of the Jolie-Pitts have at least ONE nice day without so many people trying to ruin it? She just had TWINS for crying out loud. Angelina is such a beautiful matyr; I wish I could be more like her. Sure, she’s kinda shunning America, but I still luv, luv, LUV her!!! Anyone else want to start a petition to wish them the best luck in the world?"
The Brangeloonie Shrine is available exclusively at Babies R Us and Wal-Mart, but hurry, supplies are limited and rioting has already begun. Medium: photo composite.
I've always wondered what our culture would be like if we obsessed about the private lives and accomplishments of scientists, researchers and great thinkers the same way we obsess over celebrities. Would we follow closely the scandals of scientific study the same way we follow the scandals of Britney or Madonna? Would certain appealing scientists be given their own reality shows? Perhaps Scientific America would become an easy-to-read weekly and Maxim would include a bevy of young female astronomers and genetic researchers in their annual Maxim Hot 100 List.
Scientists aren't known for their style and fashion sense, so they'd be easy targets for the snippy quips of Star magazine's "Star Style Stalkers". Fashion designers would quickly seize the chance to start creating more fashionable lab coats and safety glasses and we'd see them featured as product placements in major motion pictures. Waiting lists would begin for the most sought after designer lab coats and prices would skyrocket once Chanel and Versace got into the game. Soon, Joan Rivers would show up on the red carpet to pick apart those heading to the Dirac Prize awards show and the E! Channel would run all day coverage.
Us Weekly's infamous Just Like Us feature would show us pictures of scientists living their lives in ordinary ways we can identify with. They really are just like us!