Gallery of the Absurd

Fabio and George Clooney to Appear on Romance Title

Fabio has a big problem with birds. First he was humiliated and bloodied after a flock of ducks collided with his face as he rode a roller coaster. A few years later, he was attacked by a flying bird again after his date tried to take a picture of George Clooney sitting at a nearby table. I was seduced by the idea of Fabio and Gorgeous George embracing on the cover of one those cheesy romance novels Fabio used to pose for and I was overcome with the burning desire to paint it. Breathlessly, I held my pen and allowed the tantalizing image to pulsate through my body and onto the paper. Swoon. Medium: ink on paper, digital color and collage.

Here's a page torn passionately out of Fabio and George's romance novel Birds of a Feather. Written by Candace Kirby, it will leave you begging for more. Want to see more cheesiness? Here's a clever and fitting new term for overly processed, artificial, producer heavy songs: The Kraft Single.

George Clooney: Hollywood Monkey King

If Handsome George were a gorilla, this is what he'd look like. He's the reigning Monkey King of Hollywood and no one can push him off his pedestal. Other alpha male primates such as Russell Crowe and Bill O'Reilly have tried to knock the Georgerilla's crown off, but thus far have not succeeded.  Aggressive female primates who've attempted to domesticate the wild Georgerilla have failed, but that doesn't stop them from being lured by the Georgerilla's smoothly seductive charms. If you are approached by the Georgerilla while traveling in the jungles of Hollywood, ask about his "Best Supporting Ape" statue and kindly offer him a hotdog. You and the Georgerilla will become fast friends...especially if you're a female. Medium: Ink, acrylic on paper, Latin phrase by Michael K.

The Sexiest Man in Hollywood

A few weeks ago, Star magazine ran a large photo of George Clooney stuffing a huge hotdog in his mouth.  I wasn't planning on purchasing the magazine, but when I saw the photo, I had no other choice but to buy it. They really should have put this photo on the cover, sales would have skyrocketed. Medium: mixed media collage.

This is a comic I drew a few years ago and after looking at the Handsome George Clooney photo above, I thought it was relevant to post.  Look, I'm not saying ALL guys eat like this, I just happened to witness this sort of behavior in the course of a single day (and yes, that's Jeff Polage in the first panel). I've enjoyed many male dining companions who were well-mannered gentlemen...but they don't make as funny a comic strip as the sloppy guys do.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of eating, don't miss this site devoted to photos of celebrities eating. Why it exists, I can't explain.