Hollywood Predator is the only magazine devoted to the various predators living in Hollywood. Each issue is jam packed with educational features and stunning photos of common predatory species such as the Dr. Phil Fool, Paparazzi Wolves, and creepy "producers". An excerpt from the latest issue:
Lurking on the pristine streets of Beverly Hills is the most annoying predator known to celebrities: the paparazzi. They hunt incessantly for lucrative shots, even if it means scaling fences at daycares – or, most recently, following Britney Spears into an ambulance as she suffered a nervous breakdown and recklessly chasing down her two young sons, just so they could capture that “money shot” of their tear-stained faces looking out the car window.
Britney is certainly not the only celebrity to be preyed upon by this Hollywood predator. Fellow target Sean Penn has fought back, both physically and verbally, saying that:
“The [paparazzi] should be put in a cage where you can poke them with a stick for a quarter. But not in a hostile way, just for giggles. They really are on the attack against mankind; it's a disease. They should be helped somewhere. But I'd still like to poke them with a stick.”
Experts say that while stick-poking is one option for dealing with the intrusive predator, moving out of Los Angeles or getting another job is an even more effective solution.
It's an objective inquiry to which I'm seeking answers. What's so compelling about this person? How has she managed to captivate the nation simply by being the younger sister of America's Tragic Clown and also for being knocked-up at 16 after spoon feeding the media such a wholesome and squeaky clean image? How was this person's mother able to sell the story to the media for one million dollars? I'll give away one of my original paintings to the person who provides me the most original and enlightening answer. Poster created by guest artist, graphic designer Wendyann Pope.
photo courtesy of Fame Pictures.
I didn't watch the VMAs. Sure, I was curious about how Britney's big "comeback performance" would go, but I knew it would be all over the internet as soon as she finished, so why bother? Since I'm more inspired by what you have to say about Britney Spears rather than Britney Spears herself, I decided to illustrate some of the more interesting opinions I found regarding her performance:
Chris Crocker, Britney Spears fan/sobbing YouTube sensation, launches into tearful hysteria and eardrum-busting screams as he pleads to all of us to leave Britney alone. "Her song is called Gimme More for a reason because all you people want is more more more! LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!! sob." Nekesa Mumbi Moody of the Associated Press wrote that Britney's performance consisted of "lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home." Michael K of Dlisted wrote, "I could have dressed a sack of potatoes up in a sequined bikini and turned a tired track on and have gotten a better performance and better lip-synching skills." 50 Cent didn't need words to express his bewilderment over Britney's performance.