Gallery of the Absurd

How To Tell The Davis Brothers Apart

One of my very favorite sources of celebrity gossip is TMZ. Not only are they skilled at obtaining the latest photos, news and video of celebrity fluff, they also come up with silly, yet fitting nicknames for many of the victims they feature. If it wasn't for TMZ, many of us would be blissfully unaware of the existence of Hollywood's most despised billionheir brothers Brandon Greasy Bear and Jason Gummi Bear Davis. Yes, it's hard to tell the difference between these two "bears", especially since Brandon is starting to look like he could fit into Jason's sizeable trousers. I'm not proud of the fact I wasted my precious time on these two spoiled d-list brats...but somehow, crafty TMZ was able to squeeze enough oil sick entertainment value out of them for me to become momentarily inspired. Medium: photo collage, digital paint. Photos borrowed from Getty and TMZ.

What's That Smell?

Gallery of the Absurd is pleased to announce the first in our series of "Celebrity Stench: The Glut of Celebrity Perfumes." Did you know that celebrity fragrances represent the fastest growing segment of the perfume market? Everyone from Lindsay Lohan, Posh and Becks, to Marilyn Manson has or is planning to launch yet another fragrance to pollute the air. Racing to cash in on his dwindling "firecrotch" fame, Brandon Davis has announced his new fragrance, Huile de Firecrotch. This oil-based perfume features top notes of dusty oil fields, profuse sweat and greasy In-n-Out burgers and finishes with a faint odor of Paris Hilton. Available now at Wal-Mart, but like most celebrity fragrances, you might just be able to find Huile de Firecrotch clogging up trash piles and landfills across the country. Medium: Ink on paper, digital color.

Brandon Davis Spews

One of the first bits of gossip I saw this morning was the video of greasy oil fortune heir, Brandon Davis on a night out with self-absorbed hotel heiress and self-proclaimed "American Royalty" Paris Hilton.  In the video, Brandon exposes his crass vulgarity, lack of proper upbringing, and stunted maturity as he loudly shouts insults about Lindsay Lohan to a group of paparazzi. The Royal Highness, Paris Hilton cackles uncontrollably as Brandon makes an absolute ass of himself by referring to Lohan as a "fire crotch" and worse.  I know they must think of themselves as privileged young Hollywood elite, but what they really come across as is spoiled toddlers fighting in a school yard sandbox.  Or maybe monkeys flinging poo at each other in a filthy Hollywood zoo.