A meticulously detailed, hand-carved marble fountain depicting the beloved Angelina Jolie breast feeding her twins has just been unveiled in the Enchanted Food Court nestled in the southwest wing of America's largest shopping mall. Perched atop a gilded platform between Hot Dog on a Stick and Cinnabon, the fountain has quickly become a beloved shrine to the thousands of wild-eyed pilgrims flocking to fall upon their knees and worship her Holiness.
Due to the overwhelming hysteria revolving around Jolie's recent breast feeding
stunt photo on the cover of W magazine, witnesses say the pilgrims resemble a swarming plague of locusts as they amass around the milk-squirting fountain. Often called "Brangeloonies", these devoted followers have been gathering in long lines outside the Mall of America just to get a glimpse of the otherworldly statue and perhaps leave a devotional item or two. Mall authorities are thrilled with the overwhelming response and recently told local news, "Sales are through the roof now that we've debuted the Saint Angelina Fountain and merchants such as Chicos, Cinnabon and Illuminations are seeing record sales numbers." It just goes to show you that despite the fragile US economy, anything related to Angelina Jolie commands instant commerce and distraction mesmerized attention. Medium: Ink wash on paper, digital color, photoshop.