The Hottest Teen Trends Across America

According to a new government report released today, the teen birth rate has increased for the first time in 15 years. Some critics blame the trend on the national policy of abstinence-only sex education.

Others such as FOX News "expert", Dr. Keith Ablow claim teen girls are looking for ways to "connect with themselves and others in an increasingly technology-driven world."

Additionally, Dr. Ablow worries that "the gravest long-term consequence is that we have babies being nurtured by mothers who really can't provide them with what they need." Call me crazy, but maybe, just maybe the rise in teen pregnancy might be rooted in part by the current trend of pregnancy glamorization embraced by the entertainment industry. Also, someone ought to warn kids that having a baby at 17 can age one instantly by 20 years as demonstrated here by Miss Jamie Lynn Spears.

Which brings me to another hot trend among teens today: the quest to go from fresh-faced to weather-beaten overnight. Ah, the folly of youth! Medium: photoshop composite, ad text written by Candy Kirby.

Comments

[vern]

I can't get that 80's song: "Kids in America" out of my head! Whoooaaa!
If there were any truth in advertising, Jamie Lynn and her Nancy Sinatra hair would be saying:
"Being a fucking millionaire is the Best feeling in the world."

[Viper Tetsu]

The breeding-stock mentality instilled by the ignorant, cousin-fucking, fratboy hick who's run our country into the shithole lo these many years has been so pervasive in the media. It's high damn time someone cried bullshit on this. Right on, Ladies! Hilarious, and like most good satire, it also induces righteous anger in equal measure.

Figures that it's satirists--not politicians or that barn full of 'Liberally-Biased' News Media Donkeys that spoon-feed corporate approved pablum daily--that're bringing this up more vigorously than anybody.

[Genevieve]

I think it's a combo of reasons that teen pregnancy is on the rise. I definetly think not teaching kids to be responsible when having sex is one of them. Instead we just tell them to not do it. Yeah, like that ever worked. But to blame Hollywood for having children I think is not fair. Are they just not supposed to have kids? I blame parents for not raising their kids right.

[cornwall wallcorn]

I'm just suggesting the current trend in glamorizing pregnancy and turning it into a form of entertainment aimed toward teens MIGHT not be helping matters.

I do not advocate that Hollywood women cease their rabbit-like tendency toward procreation. What then, would all the celebrity baby blogs talk about? Who would appear on tabloid magazine covers? Nannies would face unemployment and designers of overpriced onesies would face bankruptcy. I don't wish those sorts of ills on anybody.

love
14

[Pamela]

Back in the 70's with the novelty of Roe vs. Wade giving the "right to choose" to pregnant girls,
liberation was trend.

Today, with the same options available,
trend says: strap yourself in.

And the farmer pushes another cart away...

[Mel]

I think you are right, that glamorizing teen motherhood combined with a hypocritical abstinence talk in schools makes for a bad combination. I'd like to see what kind of names these teen born kids will have.. Let's see: Britney, Miley, Jamie... Sad.

[Demon Kitty]

I agree with you 14. Hollywood has profound effects on today's youth. It also dominates our fucking culture and economy. All this pregnancy porn shit ..... Really, I am just amazed at how everyone thinks Hollywood is reality. Our pathetic sex education- don't fuck- I promised Daddy I'll remain a virgin- crap is complete bullshit and sick. If you want to get someone to fuck, tell them not to!

"The breeding-stock mentality instilled by the ignorant, cousin-fucking, fratboy hick who's run our country into the shithole lo these many years has been so pervasive in the media." I love you Viper. No one could have said it better.

[Demon Kitty]

I forgot to add that Jamie Lynn Spears looks like she's 50.

[Viper Tetsu]

A C-section to Breeder Chic, part 3

My vajayjay is
a factory cranking out
screaming earth killers

[Peta]

Honestly, if it were left solely up to my high school to provide a thorough education on sex and reproduction, I'd probably think that babies were magical creatures giving by the heavens. Thankfully, I was born to a mother with common sense who started teaching me about teh facts of life from an early age - something the conservatives would no doubt have found 'irresponsible'. Yet, surprise surprise, I didn't grow up to be loose and stupid like so many others.

I also agree with you, 14, that Hollywood does play a role. A too big a role considering that so many 'parents' these days would rather be their children's friend than expend the effort required to raise them properly.

As for the whole 'promise Daddy I'll stay a virgin', what the hell? Why not just promise yourself? What is Daddy going to do to keep you 'pure', chain you to his side until your wedding?

[CPTWilly]

I think that the rate of teen pregnancy corresponds directly with the rate of teen sex.

When put that way, it seems so obvious . . .

[Charlene]

That "promise daddy" crap is so evil and disgusting. Do they not see that expecting girls to have their fathers involved IN ANY WAY with their sexuality is a form of creepy weirdo incest? Always, no exceptions?

[mk]

I had my son at 26 and it's been the hardest job in my life. I have the most supportive husband in the world. I can't imagine what these silly kids go through having children so young. Seems to me that some young parents feel its okay to party and have a good time. From my own experience, having a party animal as a mother sucks ass. I say put them on birth control at age 14 automatically. When I was 14 I was horny (labeled curious) as hell and couldn't wait to have sex. There were no shortages of boys and men for that matter that were ready to have sex with me. That's what sucks about these young girls who are used for sex and then end up raising a child alone.

[Cyclops Kitten Natividad]

Some of us were dumb enough to get pregnant at 17, but smart enough to take care of it. Then again, that was the 70's, when teen motherhood was regarded as a Bad Thing.

These days pretty movies are made about the subject, and teenaged girls aren't exactly rocket scientists when it comes to thinking ahead (or realizing they're being sold bullshit). The combo of 'parents as pals', religious constraints on sex education, abortion doctors being targeted by bomb throwing Jesus Freaks, hysteria over "falling birth rates", obsession with infertility and treatments, "baby bumps" on nearly every magazine in the stands, motherhood porn, the backlash against women with careers, retro-crafting 50's housewife wannabes, and mommy blog navel-gazing all boils down to one message: Breed and Consume.

They Live, indeed.

[mk]

If you think about it, having children young has been going on for ages. My grandmother was married by 16 and had 6 daughters, my mother was married by 18 and both did a fine job of raising their children. The only difference now is that young mothers have very little support these days. Fathers don't stick around to help support the mother and raise the child. One income families could survive even with low paying jobs. These days both parents usually have to work to make ends meet and financial problems led to divorce. Some kids may be imitating hollywood but teens and horniness go hand and hand.

teen pregnancy was getting huge long before juno and jamie lynn