Tom Cruise Goes to Pot

PRESCRIBING INFORMATION

TOM CRUISE PURPLE (as reported by the NY Daily News)

DESCRIPTION
Medical marijuana sold in vials featuring a picture of Tom Cruise laughing hysterically. Also known as most every picture taken of Tom Cruise. Distributed by licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California.

INDICATIONS
Antiemetic for the treatment of nausea and anorexia associated with treatments for cancer, AIDS, and hepatitis. Tom Cruise Purple also treats people who demonstrate signs of normalcy and turns them into cackling loons.

RECOMMENDED DOSAGE
Enough to make patients speak solely in unintelligible acronyms.

SIDE EFFECTS
God complex, fear of space aliens, couch-jumping, bowl haircut that spreads to rest of family, evil cackling, loss of respect, aversion to psychiatry, homophobia, sudden ability to be the only person who can help with accidents and control forces of nature.

Photo illustration by 14, text written by Candy Kirby.

Comments

[Erik]

I think they could have come up with a better and more insulting name like Tom Cruise's SuperHero Weed, it gives you the power to fly and shoot lasers out of your eyes! Or Tom Cruise's Shortcut to Xenu (now with extra delusional raving and cRaZy EyEs!).

But is using an insane elf as your brand "hook" a good idea? It might make people quit smoking the weed altogether if it makes people as loony as Pocket Tommy!