Valentines Galore!

Looking for an assortment of romantic sentiment and passionate prose to send your sweetie? Look no further.

What could be more romantic than Paris Hilton and her giant paws engaged in a booze-addled passionate grope with Jared Leto during a late night public make-out session in a smoky LA nightclub?

Don't have a special someone to shower with gifts of waxy Whitman's Samplers and mylar balloon bouquets this Valentine's Day? Despair not. Love yourself!

Okay, this one was created under the following conditions: 1.) Artist is sick with flu 2.) Artist is taking large doses of flu medication 3.) Artist isn't fond of Valentine's Day and 4.) Artist found this photograph amusing. Click on the image to see the hot Valentine excitement.

Are you infected with a sense of burning fiery passion and itching desire when you think fondly of your beloved? Then this is the card for you. (photo from Big Pictures)

If celebrity-sullied valentines aren't for you, here's a few your sweetheart might like...

My friend and I were sitting in a cafe. The subject of men came up and I asked her how she felt about the current guy she was dating. No words came out of her mouth, she simply made this face. Her expression told me everything I needed to know and so we moved on to the next subject.

Nothing says romance like a crazy rum-sodden pirate. Medium: Nyquil, bad photoshop, ink and acrylic on paper. Celebrity cards created in collaboration with my partner in crime, Candy Kirby.

Comments

[Jennifer]

LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU, 14!
Thanks for the Valentine's!
Love your style!

[Glorious Karl]

You know, lots of women make that face at... oh.

No doubt that is the quintessential Tom Cruise rebuke.

One must grant Mick Jagger some merit because he still must pinch himself every morning over his good fortune. He delights in being a pig and pulls it off in style. Puff Daddy is just a pig.

[midevil]

Absolutely gorgeous, 14! You offer such a variety!

[Lydia]

You are too talented!I'm jealous!no but besides that I always enjoy your artwork it reminds me of Andy Warhol in a sense that you reflect on a generation , this one being a little celebrity obsessed.

[vern]

The Diddy card looks like an illustration from a Rorshach test. But maybe we don't really want to know what it means.

[Knox Bronson]

thanks, 14 ... i don't know why i clicked on the gota button ... but was so happy to see a new post - and a really good one at that! happy valentines day, beautiful. -knox

[Demon Kitty]

You are a fucking genius 14! The one of Diddy made my life.

[14]

oh you folks are too kind! This is just fill to keep GOTA on life support until she finally kicks the bucket next week. Silly photoshop stuff, tha's all.

happy crappy valentine's day!

xoxo
14

[jam]

Nice jobs. Love is also that. Salu2.

[Michal la femme]

"Tomlove" brightened my day- though surprisingly less creepy and more whimsical than the original painting. Piratevalentine was especially sad, not that it was a hideous drunken pirate, but that he didn't have a parrot, he had a pigeon.

[Devin]

Paris has MAN-HANDS...yikes!! Get well soon and plenty of rest! :)

[midevil]

Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Don't kill GOTA! Noooooooooooooooooo!

[Larz Blackman]

Your friend must be really desperate if she disgusted by THE GUY SHE'S DATING! Can't stand on her own?

[Adam Smith]

Fourteen,or Einstein Bohm Condensate Armadillo Wrote:

happy crappy valentine's day!

Good to see another person who has a heartfelt grievance and genuine animosity towards false sentiment,as expressed through gaudy cheap cards.

If an emotion has any substance,let's negate it by making it into a form of sacharrine cloying mind rot,seems to be the implicit message of these artefacts.

I like the fact that you also fly the flag for sheer bloody minded intransigence.

And that it's really.

The whole practise of Valentine's day is almost as bad as "Sea-Gulling"; a completely revolting practice that a friend told me about the other day.Apparently teenage boys up and down the country are wanking into their hand's,then shouting out "seagull" at friends or hated teachers,so that when the victim turns round they end up with a face full of cum.
It sound's like a classic foaf(friend of a friend)tale though.Another friend and I tested the veracity of this story the other day by walking through the street,shouting "seagull" while passing any random group of teenagers we saw.Nobody cowered,flinched or went to cover their face All we got was teenager's looking at us in a bemused way.

It should be made completely clear,that while we did perform the second part of the ritual(shouting "seagull"),we
most certainly did not perform the first (wanking into our palms).

I was going to suggest that Seagull Day replace Valentine's day.It would'nt be any worse than recieving some giant fucking card from an admirer/stalker,whose intent you can never be sure of...

Good luck in your next venture.I'll be round to slide around in the marble halls of your imagination,in just my socks,when the sites up and ready.

[Jenn F.]

The Diddy card is hilarious, because it's just so wonderfully silly. And that image just never stops being funny. Flu or not, you just don't seem to stop delivering the goods.

Don't despair, Mid... something even more exciting is on the way! We're all going to make the leap with 14 when the time comes.

Oh and 14... in the spirit of Ralph Wiggum, I choo-choo-choose you.

[Peta]

I tend to lose respect for the men Paris has been/is currently linked with, whether or not I was a fan of them in the first place. I wonder why that is...

As for Diddy? Pfft. Overgrown man-child.