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Comments

KZK

This is just great!!!!!!!! Love your stuff, have been lurking for a few years now, but this is the 1st time I'm compelled to post. What are we doing to our girls in this country?!?! Has anyone else seen the new "Supermodel Barbie?" I don't get it. They redid Barbie a few years back to make her proportions more realistic. But now they are propelling us back yet again w/the new anorexic version. And the teeth!!!! Thank you for mentioning the new necessity of BLINDINGLY UN-NATURAL WHITE teeth. Yes clean teeth are beautiful, but they are BONE. BONES are not WHITE. Another unattainable standard unless you spend alot of time & money. Plus we all know it's against the laws of physics for anyone that skinny to have real boobs. BTW, your pic looks just like Pam Anderson Lee Rock whatever the hell her name is. Coincidence?!?!

midevil

I think your update is too fat.

Candy

Spot-on, as always, 14. But I had no idea you and Shauna Sand were buddies! How nice of her to model for this post.

Jenn F.

*laughing at midevil's comment*

This is a fantastic piece. Everything you had to say is bang on. When will this change? How can we change it? We're damaging ourselves by buying into it. KZK was exactly right in her comment. Doesn't anyone appreciate natural beauty, in whatever shape or size it comes in? 14, thank you for drawing attention (no pun intended) to such a hugely important issue.

Connie

What's really eerie about this is that Pam Anderson looks EXACTLY like this in person.

Elizebeth

Wow, that new version looks like so many people it's eerie and funny. While I look more like the real version, hmmmm. I like the first one better.

TheReallyJamesBond

"Ah, yes. There's just something about a woman twisted enough to wanna make herself over as a (un)real, live cartoon caracter, and the he-man-women-haters that encourage em'!"

Fairlady Z

Nothing wrong with having epic clavicles; some women are just naturally thin. I do think the inflated collagen lips and train of plastic surgeries to the point of absurdity are ridiculous though. Nothing remotely "natural" about any of that crap.

parissucksliterally

wonderful.
you always make me smile.

Anna

This is fantastic... and scary. Care to do an update of the male version? It'd be interesting to see how the ideal went from this to this.

Demon Kitty

These women have no idea how ridiculous they look. Their lives must be pure hell. Never eating anything, no fine wine, no chocolate. Tits big enough to be tires on my car, Let me tell you, I wear a fucking D cup and MY TITS DRIVE ME INSANE!!!!! THEY GET IT THE WAY OF EVERYTHING. I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL HOW I SLEEP! If I am not careful when I roll over in bed, my tits can get caught under my arm or god only knows and it hurts like fucking HELL. How does Pam Anderson manage that shit? I was getting a massage and I had issues getting on my stomach because of my fucking tits. This was not uncommon, because the masseuse immediately put 2 rolled up towels under my pits when she saw me struggling. It is a fucking pain in the ass though. Do these bitches get mammograms? They have to flatten your fucking tit as much as they can. It hurts like fuck! I don't think silicone can suffer that or saline!!!! I long for the days when I was a B cup. No pain, no inconvenience.

You know, I used to be infatuated with this blonde girl in college. She was gorgeous in this classical Grace Kelly way. One time, I was swimming and I walked into the locker room from the pool. The first thing I saw was this perfect circle of supple flesh, these perfectly curvy hips, with fawn like pubic hair. It was the most gorgeous thing I ever saw and it was her! She had these exquisite curves. She had 360 degree hips! I have not seen anything like that in a long time! The juxtaposition of massive knockers against hard fucking muscles is nasty. I am so sick of celebrities. If you look at their noses, every single one of those bitches has had a nose job.

Demon Kitty

I also think it is sick to try and make your lips bigger than your labia majora/minora when they are swollen with desire.

hugaliciousgurl

When I saw this, I swore it was Donatella Versace

Susan

Excellent and .... sad :(

that_girl

I agree. It is sad how celebs cannot have beautiful curvy bodies. Jennifer Love Hewitt is so curvy. Big is beautiful (not obese), not rail thin wrenches with big knockers (or with ribcages peeping out of the skin).

14

thanks for all your comments! Just to be clear, I'm not saying anything is wrong with being skinny. My best friend, who is naturally rail thin even though she gobbles powdered donuts with a giant coke every morning for breakfast, looks beautiful and is happy with her lovely clavicle.

This is more a commentary on how hard the media can be on women who aren't a size 2 and was inspired by the recent Jennifer Love Hewitt In A Bikini scandal. In the photos, she looked so refreshingly natural and had a big happy smile on her face - I couldn't understand why so many bloggers and commenters were calling her fat.

xoxo
14

Marie

So tragic and so true. You nailed it.

Mikaela

Wow, you are always spot on. Tht's why you are on my daily list of must reads.

http://mikaelasjetsetbeauty.blogspot.com/

Eize

Yup---they'll undergo all the collagen injections, boob lifts, nip/tucks, and orange spraypainting. Then they'll go out and look for a REAL man...

Nice one, 14!

Sloth

I used to kind of ignore the whole "celebrity culture is a bad influence on young women thing" until this whole Jennifer Love Hewitt thing exploded. What the hell is wrong with people? JLH is gorgeous, rich, and has a hit tv show. All these losers sitting around blogging about how fat she is should take a look at themselves.........and then try to love themselves a little more! JLH has the right attitude, but it's got to be tough when people are so cruel and she is just normal and healthy and not deserving of such treatment. Pamela Anderson is distorted freak show - why would anyone aspire to that???

pondering

Great work as usual. It makes a statement that's hilarous and pathetic at the same time. Fortunately, though, this is only the 'Hollywood' standard of so-called beauty. Nobody in their right mind in the real world finds this attractive. I look more like 'Exhibit A' and I do just fine for myself, as do most ladies I know. The only people who would cave into looking like this are weak-minded, shallow, insecure lemmings who would probably get antennae implanted in their heads if someone told them that it would make them sexier.

simone

14, you surpassed yourself there.

Knox Bronson

you never cease to amaze ... and what DID happen to Pam Anderson's ass???

Amazing

14, I love you and the way you speak/paint the truth. True story: When I was in 9th grade, I dieted to weigh 125, since that's what the insurance chart decreed. My boobs deflated and my ribs stuck out beneath my upper chest. A girl saw me in the shower room post-P.E. and gasped in horror. I let myself go back to my 140# at which I looked almost exactly like the first figure, healthy and nice.

I humbly submit the following as a possible future GOTA: Side-by-side images of an Auschwitz survivor, or an African dirt farmer, and an actress like Debra Messing or others whose ribs bulge through their paperskin thin. The Auschwitz/African image is entitled "tragic" and the other is entitled "perfect (per Hollywood)."

It's pretty hamfisted, I know, but it's rumbled around my mind since I had to turn off "Will & Grace" rather than look at DM's xylophone chest.

sjk222

This is classic, 14. It's akin to the three muses pre-Lohan rehab.

Men's lollipops with two suckers.

jem

sadly true. fantastic job!

Mac

As much as I love this picture, which I seriously do, I feel you also contribute to societys resistence to accept a healthy weight. With many of your images you highlight certain celebrities weights in a negative way, for example, multiple of your Britney Spears ones.

All in all, a great image though. Thanks for sharing.

Noelegy

This reminds me of a picture I did as a lark a few years ago. Normally I would not use this space as an opportunity to pimp my own artwork, but the subject is germane.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a261/Noelegy/Miscellanea/beautycontest.jpg

What's going on here: Two different versions of the "Vicki 3" model for the Poser rendering program. The model on the right (brunette) is Vicki with no parameter changes and a basic texture. The blonde on the left is the idealized fantasy female.

I used to post artwork on an adult-themed art community website under the screen name "Litharge" and I was one of an extreme minority of female artists there. Users could post artwork of their own, just comment on others' artwork, or both (interestingly enough, some of the harshest comments came from users who never posted artwork of their own). If a female figure in a picture deviated in any way from the fantasy babe ideal, criticism could be harsh indeed. I posted this picture as a comment on this atmosphere and for a laugh.

(Link is SFW)

Siduri

So true. Venus deMilo would be called an ugly cow by today's tabloids.

Fairlady Z

As for the JLH thing, I have to say I found it silly that she just makes this blanket statement that every girl in the world should go put on a bikini and "stay strong" (i.e. stay delusional). For your own sake, girls, DO NOT DO THIS. When a larger girl wears a swimsuit (or any outfit) that clearly does not fit and is unflattering, she is inviting ridicule and negative attention. Not fair? Maybe, but that's just the truth. And JLH is basically saying that she should be able to dress however she wants and not get laughed at... well, I'm afraid reality is a little more harsh than that, especially for celebrities whose entire career for the most part revolves around their image, and the media isn't just suddenly picking on her. Anyone who makes poor fashion choices gets laughed at -- highwaters, muffintops, whatever.

Just because a girl (or guy, for that matter) is not a size zero doesn't mean they can't wear a swimsuit, but it doesn't mean they should go around wearing outfits that are intended for thinner people either. A larger girl should wear a swimsuit (probably a one-piece) that is more flattering to her shape and supports all her curves. I have seen girls with absolutely giant girth (as in, rolls upon rolls) wearing bikinis at the pool and it just boggles my mind. I once saw a girl in college with her gut hanging over her pants, wearing a tiny little halter top, exposing her midriff and generally acting like she was Britney Spears. It comes off less as confidence and more as impenetrable arrogance for such people to be "flaunting" something they really don't have. If they're happy, well, great, but don't expect to get a positive reaction from the general public if you can't be bothered to wear clothing/swimsuits that flatter your figure. As the saying goes, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

Vernice

good gravy people! reality check: JLH is NOT huge! she's a "normal" girl! she doesn't need to apologize or wear caftans! I never thought I'd be her supporter (sounds faintly athletic) but give her a break! The needy freakshows that are starving themselves are the ones that earn our scorn!!!!!!!!

14

Noelegy:

My commenters are ALWAYS welcome to pimp their art/blogs/etc. here. Thanks for showing us your work.

Mac:

I hear ya. When I started this blog, my mission was to illustrate the gossip according to the stories people exchanged with each other when they discussed celebrities. I tried to be objective and just illustrate what the tabloids and bloggers were saying...and unfortunately, much of that talk is quite negative. Such is the nature of gossip. However!! I've decided to focus my attention of the positive aspects of gossip once in awhile. That way, I don't feel so guilty. Thanks for your feedback - much appreciated.

14

Noelegy

I swoon! Thank you! Um, only I didn't edit that copy/paste too well and the URL should have a "jpg" appended to it.

What's sad is how many people would look at the above and think of the (obviously exaggerated for effect) second picture, "Now that's hot," instead of seeing it as the delicious satire it is.

Javelin

When you put them together it looks like a diagram of sorts... "Female body deformity due to excessive exposure to Hollywood."

Hmm...someone should keep an eye out and see if this drawing pops up on the wall of that creepy Dr. 90210 guy.

On a side note, Mac-- some women display their lovely curves quite nicely (like America Ferrera), but Britney insists on disgacing herself in sparkly underware...

Demon Kitty

Dear Knox Bronson,
Pamela Anderson cut off her ass cheeks and glued them to her chest.

Demon Kitty

It's like they want to turn themselves into human blow up dolls

lurkerNo999

I had an uncontrollable fit of laughter when I read this.

Btw, not a criticism but I noticed that your updated guide to female proportion especially in the knee area seems to be incorrect - the oval should be smaller and a true fit to the actual size of the legs..

14 you've have done some really left-of-field pieces and I have enjoyed many of them immensely.

I DON'T REALLY THINK I JUST WALK - Paris Hilton

Did Shauna Sand pose for you? If so, it looks exactly like her, the twig like legs, the inflated balloons, the pillow like lips, the polyester hair.. Although you did paint her a little too fat.

I just have one more thing to say.. Orlando Bloom didn't want to play on the xylophone that is Kate Bosworths' chest and so don't most men!

sit!

This is so true!

Brittiney

ok so I sometimes watch this show on VH1 called America's Most Smartest Model and when I looked at that picture of the updated girl I instantly thought of Mandy Lynn from that show...seriously if you put a picture of her next to that updated version it would look like a self portrait...even more so than Pamela Anderson.

frewtloop

Its funny because its true and I laughed out loud which is unusual because I'm a GOW (gumpy old woman). I think your art should form the basis of a new feminist text and it should be force fed to 15 yo school girls!

z

wow that was very interesting

Lynne Talbot

Lots of women in Australia have bought into that new idea of beauty as well. The massive head on the little body look. It is infantilizing. Babies have it. So do Bratz dolls. As for the boobs, women have tits like that when they're breast feeding. So it looks like a very young girl who is sexually ready and has demonstrated her fertility. Is that what men want?

Caitlin

Nothing wrong with being skinny or muscular either- I'm both. The emphasis should be more about being healthy, happy and confident, and less about 'thou shalt not be a certain weight'.

b1-66er

years ago i was watching the tonight show when johnny carson still hosted it. merv griffin was a guest -- interesting since he was, essentially, the "groovy" talk show host ... and also busily at work building an entertainment super-franchise.

johnny: "how are you doin'?"

merv: "great!"

j: "heh, heh, and what makes you so great,' merv?"

m: "i just ran across a woman that i'm going to make into a huge huge star. i don't know how yet, but in a decade, she'll be a household name."

j: "really? and what makes you so sure?"

m: "she's lovely and has a HUGE head. americans love a woman with a huge head."

j: "you're kiddin' me, right?"

m: "no. dead serious. she's going to make everyone a lot of money."

j: "what's her name?"

[i grabbed a pencil and wrote it down so i could remember it in the future.]

m: "vanna white."

Mallamar Berracci

Very spot-on, but you forgot the big butt. These days, it's all about having a big, shapely butt. Big breasts are overrated (but not necessarily out of fashion).

Cris

You crack me up!

Cris

The current version looks just like a primitive blow up doll, hahahaha!
...and they pay for that!

Dea

Can you do a fat acceptance version?

lordsomber

Very good... Here is my own 2¢ on "Extremes of BodyMod™: Self-doubting FrankenTitty pursuits of socially accepted physiques."


http://pungeon.blogspot.com/2006/02/why-cant-woman-just-be-herself.html

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