What If The Donald and The Dalai Lama Switched Books?

While walking the streets of San Francisco recently, I was assaulted by large posters advertising Donald Trump's new book "THINK BIG AND KICK ASS". Trump appears on the cover in his well-practiced You're Fired pose, his mouth agape while his little paw points menacingly at the viewer. I burst out laughing right there on the sidewalk and soon noticed a nearby store window filled with books written by The Dalai Lama. I began to wonder what might result if The Donald and Tibetan spiritual leader The Dalai Lama were to switch their philosophical approaches toward life.....

His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet has just released his newest book, Think Big and Kick Ass. Sure to become a number one best-seller, the spiritual leader will teach you how greed and revenge leads one down the true path of happiness.  You'll also learn:

• How not to take crap from people. Fight back, be brutal and win!
• Why you can't be too greedy.
• Material possessions and the relentless acquisition of wealth is the only way to happiness.
• How compassion toward fellow humans will only get in the way of your success.
• Rosie O'Donnell is stupid and her book will never sell as many copies of mine.

Donald Trump's inspiring new book, An Open Heart lovingly teaches the art of using compassion and kindness in everyday life and business. The Donald will explain how a self-centered attitude can be destructive not only towards society, but to the individual as well. You'll learn how accepting responsibility and maintaining respect, compassion and kindness toward others brings peace and happiness. You'll also learn:

• Why the prime purpose in life is to help others.
• How the roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation.
• Why love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
• How materialism and consumerism lead to suffering.
• Rosie O'Donnell is a human being whom I love and respect.

 

Medium: fake books are ink on paper with digital color, real books are images snagged off Amazon.

Comments

[Knox Bronson]

Love it! You are so funny, mx. mzltplqk ...

Trump's little mouth, when open, always looks like it is about to receive cock. When closed, it resembles a human anus.

It's funny: the one thing doctors cannot fix/change/improve is bone structure ... and his is almost as bad as Paris Hilton's.

Such a fascinating species we are, producing such disparate types: Trump & the Dalai Lama ... Dick Cheney & Mother Teresa ... Perez Hilton & 14 ...

[TheReallyJamesBond]

"Said it before & I'll say it again,.... You are a VERY FUNNY PERSON!!! You're open heart kick's ass!!!"

[Jenn F.]

Oh that is too good! You never fail to deliver, darling.

Knox Bronson's comment about Trump's mouth is incredibly accurate and hilarious.

This truly is the best site on the entire freaking internet. Bar none.

[vernice]

I'm speechless, (which is what I wish on the Donald) awed by how you've captured the scientologist/zealot/jimmy swaggert in the donald's face. I bet he even scares child molesters. I'm shivering and I have to go find my teddy bear.

[librarian kathleen]

Fabulous! And Knox: you have a rare level of ... discernment. Bravo.

[Vernice]

Ok, I've had some therapy, and maybe a glass of wine. Knox B IS right, the Donald is just a butt head. I'm not scared anymore.

[Erik]

You know, that mouth agape thing makes him look like he's waiting for someone to shove a big fat cock in his mouth.

Holy crap, I just read Knox's comment, great minds and all that.

[Demon Kitty]

You go Knox! I am with you! His mouth looks like an anus! An anus with teeth!!! I saw him pushing this book on CNN. You know, he paid a bunch of people 50 bucks a piece to stand outside and cheer for him as he was walking into some building, somewhere to push this book. Some woman was bragging about receiving 50 bucks from him. He wasn't ashamed that he had to pay people to act as though they liked him.

I find "Trump" as he now calls himself, to be revolting. "The Apprentice" was awful and it made him more of an egomaniacal monster. I find it really interesting the way he goes on and on about Angelina Jolie. I am not a Jolie fan these days, but I can't help but wonder if Trump attempted to get into her pants and was rejected? Perhaps he disparages her beauty because he knows out of all things coveted in the world, she's the one thing, he can never have. Your picture of Trump writing as the Dalai Lama makes him look so much better. See what compassion and warmth can do to someone? However, there is nothing that can save his creepy face. Being an asshole carves those nasty asshole lines into your face. Look at the Dalai Lama's face. He doesn't have any of those butt ugly, road map- lines associates with nasty facial contortions when one behaves like a rabid, contemptuous, undernourished, hyena getting ready to pounce on a piece of flesh with all the hatefulness of .... oh to hell with it. I always love to quote Joan Collins in moments like this: "After a certain age, you get the face you deserve."

[Pablo Vazquez]

AMAZING!

[Javelin]

ahahahaha... priceless.

I hope someday, Trump fights Rosie (or whoever) and ends up in a full body cast, and his NURSE, who might be me in costume, sits at his bedside reading "An Open Heart." And all he can do is blink rapidly in protest.

[Eize]

If I could draw as well as you, 14, I'd try this. However, Erap Estrada has never written a book in his life. Doubt if he ever has the cranial capacity to do it.

[Jenn F.]

God, that picture of the Dalai Lama with "Think Big and Kick Ass" just makes me start laughing out loud every time I look at it. This one really is a classic piece.

Javelin, you are so cruel... I love it!

Demon Kitty, you just always push that mental image one step further... the anus with teeth... oh shit that's too hilarious.

[Dianne]

BWAAAAAH! Hilarious!

[Cassie]

Now THAT is funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lynda]

The Open Heart photo of that jackass just might be the funniest thing I've ever seen!

[Moonmaid]

The Dalai Lama always struck me as someone who has a great sense of humor. I think he would find this very funny.

The Donald, conversely, is a humorless fuck. I think you will probably receive a terse letter from his legal team, 14!

Brill, as usual, btw.

[Moonmaid]

Another thing that the Dalai Lama has over Donald Trump - besides everything that is - is the head. Dalai Lama is proudly shaven, and looks great.

The Donald has that hideous Mid Life Combover and looks like a friggin fool.