Strange Sea Creature Found Washed Up On Beach

Authorities reported finding a strange sea creature washed up on the shores of Malibu yesterday. Found by a local surfer, the elf-like creature appeared bloated, and authorites say it might even be pregnant. The surfer told authorities, "Dude, like I've never seen anything like it. It totally looked like a hot little sea nymph crossed with, like, the Buddha, dude. Or maybe one of those seamonkeys I had when I was a kid." Local Malibu Sheriff witnessed the creature get up and walk away with an equally strange looking large-eared creature that appeared to be the elf creature's companion. No arrests were made. Marie Claire has confirmed the creature was really Christina Aquilera and that the performer was simply posing for the January issue of the popular women's magazine. To see how the naked Christina Aquilera could have made her Marie Claire cover even more shocking, look here. Medium: graphite on paper, digital color. Original sketch can be seen here.

Comments

[2007]

I think she looked fine?

[14]

I think she looked fine too. I happen to think elves and buddhas are very beautiful creatures.

xoxo
14

[Rebecca]

I must say I loved that photo session. Xtina looks healthy, happy and more beautiful than ever. I like your version too ;)

[Vernice]

She never irritated me until she referred to herself as "power egg" and her man servant as "super sperm", suggesting supernatural powers for doing something even Brittany managed to do twice!
And if she sees how cute you made her look in purple she'll ditch the orange for sure!

[H]

Really nice !
I like it when you use an aquatic theme. Love your mermaids, fish and so on.

[midevil]

Purple suits her much better than orange.

[Viper Tetsu]

Poor Christina. She'll always be Mamie van Doren to Britney's Marilyn Monroe...Frankie Avalon to Brit's Elvis...No, wait. that's a bad analogy, as Brit has nowhere near the iconic significance of Monroe or Presley.

Take two:

Poor Christina. She'll always be the greasy paper sack of Western Family Potato Chips to Britney's well-financed, fancily packaged cellophane bag of Cheetos. There, that's better. (I'm referring to trend-leading/following, not physical appearance or vocal ability, BTW)

I was just going to mourn the lack of facial resemblance to Xtina in your sea monkey, until (God help me) I got a gander at the actual Marie Claire cover. The likeness, give or take the skin tone, is certifiably spot-on. The woman doesn't even LOOK like herself anymore, but given the oily sheen she's sported in years past, that ain't such a bad thing.

Thanks for knocking it out of the aesthetic park again.

[Javelin]

your sea creature is beautiful.

christina, on the other hand, looks like a slutty oompa loompa or something.

[Sara]

It wasn't a bad photo shoot, except I want to know who thought any of us cared about seeing Christina pose nude while pregnant?

[Demon Kitty]

Well, it should come as no surprise to anyone on this blog that I never have anything positive to say about celebrities. Understatement!

I am sick of her. I am sick of the clown Make Up, the Marilyn Monroe bullshit, the name Xtina is retarded. Her pseudo ghetto accent floored me. Her "white trash" look spread like a deathly virus of crotch rot all over the western world before she attempted to "get class-ay". She has a lot to answer for regarding the trailer park/Compton, California hell our culture loves these days. I don't care about her naked Sundays or her motherfucking baby belly. I was underwhelmed and overcome with a massive wave of exhaustion when I saw the picture.

Thanks for cheering me up right now 14. My ornamental veil tailed goldfish, "Butterfly 1" died today of flukes and I am very, very, sad. Butterfly 1 had far more beauty and grace then fucking Christina "Arugula" ever has or will. My heart is broken.

[Mojopo]

I thought she looked like a sea monkey, too! Oh, what I would have given to have little people sprout in my sea monkey bowl instead of brine shrimps.

[parissucksliterally]

I am so tired of the nude pregnant shots. I understand wantng to take pics, but they should be private- NOT for Marie Claire, Vanity Fair, etc......(rolling eyes)

14, you are a GENIUS. LOVE your work

parissucksliterally

[Demon Kitty]

Dear Parissucks,

I am sick to death of nude knocked up shots as well. Like these bitches think they are so open minded getting knocked up women naked.

[Steve]

Creole Sea-Monkey Marmalade! She puts the "ill" in Krill.

On the other hand, maybe we should be happy to see all the hootchies settling down.

[Victorian Veronica]

My god I'm tired of the pregmoos and their endless self-preening in the public eye. Can't we PLEASE go back to the days when women spent the last few weeks of their spermination in "confinement" instead of wearing skin tight dresses and spike heels or worse, NOTHING AT ALL?

[Fairlady Z]

Couldn't agree more with the whole nude pregnant celebrities thing and how annoying it is. Thanks a lot to Demi Moore for spawning a generation of self-obsessed idiots who can't wait to get their bloated pregnant selves all over the cover of every magazine.

I also love how Christina said the following: (from http://www.showbuzz.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/11/28/people/main3548101.shtml )

"Because I hadn’t said anything, people thought I was trying to keep it this big, bad secret, and that’s not the case at all," she said. "I just wasn’t commenting. I'm not being like, 'Hey, everybody, I’m pregnant!' I'm not that girl."

O RLY? Is that why you turned around and plastered your photoshopped pregnant naked body all over the cover of a magazine? Idiot.

[Demon Kitty]

You know, I find it really motherfucking sad that these bitches are making me long for the Victorian times or the 18th century. At least there was INTRIGUE for fuck's sake!!! INTRIGUE, about what went on behind closed doors. Scandal, gossip, back then, you had the Marquis de Sade.

I agree with you Victorian Veronica. Paris, Christina, Shitney, and Co have all destroyed the idea of "naughty". They probably all do it missionary style or they get fucked into the hospital. When nothing is left to the imagination ... oh nevermind! It's like grabbing the greasy hotdog and inhaling it and then burping. Or maybe you have eaten so many greasy hot dogs, you don't care. These bitches probably suffer from guys premature ejaculating They probably suffer from boring sex. Paris Hilton showed us what it is like. She has the sensuality of a cardboard box. Her fucking was like a cartoon. I don't envy these bitches with their tits and asses and shit for brains. Their cunts are probably like glory holes, or even far more boring or mundane then a glory hole. A glory hole has an element of the unknown. We can practically see Kardashian's lower and upper intestine as well as Paris and Shitney's ovaries and fallopian tubes. These bitches deserve the sex they have. Perhaps that is our recompense for getting gonorrhea of the eye.

[Katie]

Aww...I always feel bad when folks make fun of C.A.'s hubby. I think he's sorta cute.

[karen]

Finally! Proof of my theory that celebrities are mutants. Thanks for the affirmation.

[pondering]

So glad to hear that I'm not the only one that finds most of today's fake-baked, overly-done-up, self-absorbed, attention-whore starlets incredibly irritating and the complete opposite of inspiring. That aaid, "Xtina"'s photo is pretty in and of itself, as is 14's clever interpretation. But as Sara says, who really cares?

[Malgos]

She looked bad. Someone with short limbs and body that's never been toned shouldn't be doing preggs/naked shots. It was NOT pretty. It was SAD... Demi pulled it off best, and those short copycats should really think twice before making audience gag.

BTW with her talent she should concentrate on her voice really, why is she seeking attention like this? I am losing my respect....