Have You Seen the November Issue of Rachael Ray's Magazine?

The November issue of Rachael Ray's chirpy little magazine is cornucopia of delish Thanksgiving recipes, clever crafty ideas, and in-depth features such as "Celebrity Fridge". In this issue, Victoria Beckham gives Rach a look inside her Beverly Hills refrigerator. Oh the thrills! You'll also discover the heartwarming story of the Scientologist pilgrims' first landing on Xenu Rock , and will find plenty of celebrity recipes for your Thanksgiving dinner. Rach shares Britney Spears' recipe for Convenience Store Casserole and Mel Gibson reveals the secret ingredient (tequila!) for his special holiday dessert.

Comments

[RD]

At least this cover is better than the one of Rachael standing in front of her godforsaken cabin.

[Jenn F.]

I can't believe I read that interview between Rachel Ray and Moby. I won't get that thirty seconds back. How does she manage to sound so chirpy (you picked the correct word there, 14) even in print? She makes me want to vomit. I'd be afraid to sleep in her house, as I'd fully expect to wake up to her standing over me with a butcher knife, with that manic fucking grin. Clowns are less scary.

The magazine cover you created is great, it perfectly embodies who R.R. is and what she does. The little Thanksgiving outfit made me laugh out loud. And the oversized facial features are absolutely perfect. And what the hell is on that platter? Turkey stuffed with vienna sausage and triscuits with a side of her Yum-O donuts? You're too funny, 14. Way too funny. I like the feet on the turkey, and the obscene way that you feel like you're looking right up the turkey's ass. I love it!

Gilmore and Candy's collaboration on the Posh article was just hilarious too. I've said it before and I'll say it again. You three are a dangerous combination.

[Viper Tetsu]

The nubby dwarf-hands, that joker grin, and most importantly: an entree that'd make the Geek in the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow hurl. Thou art sick and genius, milady.

Given the number of brand-name products La Ray is whoring these days, this approaches queasy accuracy, though...

[Knox Bronson]

you are awesome! thank you, 14!

[sugarbears]

So she's Oprah with fried donuts right? Great work and the turkey might rival the graphicness of a murder scene.

[Javelin]

the only context I can imagine Rachael Ray being fun in is if she were a pro hockey player. maybe I just want to see her get punched in the face, who knows.

[Eize]

That's the freakiest pilgrim holding the badd-assest turkey I've ever seen. DAMN! XD

[MandyPandy]

I've been visiting your website for more than a year and had no idea you were a woman! And a hot one, at that! I hereby tender a proposal of marriage... which technically might not be legal under our current constitution. Alright, I hereby tender my offer of same-sex civil union. I'll make you happy!

[Rebecca]

What the heck is wrong with Mizz Ray? She's got a penchant for doughnuts or something? Seriously - I don't know this lady - and judging by the cover I do not want to know her ever...
Great graphics!!!!

[moxie]

*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
{pant, pant}
Oh, and I hate her Ritz crackers commercial. And that ugly yellow shirt with the ruched front....*GAH!*

[Noelegy]

Don't be too hard on her magazine...I don't think she actually writes one bit of it. She has staff for that. Sort of like a mini Martha Stewart.

But as others have said, this is freakily accurate.

[Demon Kitty]

"Cute holiday crafts using Spam and velveeta"! "Mel Gibson's sugar tit pie!" I love you 14!!! I love you! I love you! I love you!

I love the way the gravy is dripping from the platter like slime. It really goes with the turkey's ass which looks like it was sodomized to death by Rachael Ray herself, perhaps? I refuse to buy anything with this bitch's face on it. How can someone's fucking mouth be that big? How does that shit happen? If I read ted Casablanca's blind vice correctly, this woman treats her staff worse than shit! I can't believe this fucking bitch's mug is on every box of goddamn crackers in the fucking grocery store! Evil!!!!

I hereby damn Rachael Ray to hell with Diddy, Shitney, Crabis, Hohan, Nicole Richie, and Christina Agulera for flashing her cooter today! Oh yeah, and Oprah, Martha Stewart, Bonnie Fuller, and Anna Wintour, and fucking Madonna! Damn those bitches to hell too! Damn those bitches to hell!!

[Vernice]

so sly Ms. 14,
Victoria opens her fridge for "the first time ever" indeed!
Can't Rachel's 15 products be up????????

[Randi]

There is something so horrible about the thought of spending 'Everyday' with Rachael Ray.

[Erik]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who's thoroughly sick of the Rachael Ray marketing juggernaut. Well captured here, 14, I like how crazed her oversmile is.

Maybe you could do a painting of Rachael Ray as the Joker?

[Fuck poetic justice. Put them down. This is why you are incompetent management]

The gods offered the story of Eve tempting Adam FOR A REASON!!! THE FEMALES ARE THE KEEPERS OF THE PEOPLE::::AS THE WOMEN GO SO GO ALL THE PEOPLE!!
There is negative Biblical significance to the primarily MALE FEATURE of an "Adam's apple".
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The gods sent a message 11.29.07!!!:::Stole my most recent journal composition book out of my car.
If I recall there were some SCATHING entries, including many about redwhite&blue in the “eye of The Beast”, so in an attempt to turn this negative into a positive I hope they are open and forthcoming about the content of my journal.

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Having gone to school at UCSB I grew very fond of Goleta/Isla Vista. They do have a problem, however, and they tell me it is a sign of gross disfavor:::
There is a foul petrolium smell as well as clumps of tar which wash up on the beach. Having lived there this smell becomes endearing in a way, the smell of "home away from home", so I think of it on occasion.
While visiting I acutally grabbed a ball of tar and kept it in my car. Recently I thought of this ball of tar and my life on the blufftop. Shortly after the gods saw fit to inflict the Goleta/IV oil spill of the San Francisco Bay. On the bright side they suggested this event may save the region from the 7.5 earthquake which they've been talking about for years. Bangladesh was not so lucky.
I used examples to illustrate the possibilities into which the gods may reincarnate the disfavored:::::
1. Reincarnated as a homosexual in Rio. They say this is a common dumping ground because of the extreme deviacy.
2. Reincarnated into the slums of Bangladesh.
3. Reincarnated into the ghettos of California. They maintain these dumping grounds INTENTIONALLY to have enviornments very similar to Black War I into where they could place the disfavored.

They may use these two incidents as well as the DOZENS of others (3.1.07 Enterprise, AL) to compell people to think this boss shit still has potential::::The gods are scapegoatting me for hurting the disfavored. The gods manufactured a scapegoat, a recurring methodology. WHATEVER POSITIONING THEY ARE FORTHCOMING WITH IS THE LIE!!! THEY ARE NEITHER UPFRONT NOR HONEST WITH THE DISFAVORED!!! THEY FORCE US TO INFERR THEIR SUBTLE, COVERT CLUES!!!
This "candidacy" has been dead for so long that IT NEVER EXISTED!!!!

They used me to send certain clues:::
1. My sexual inactivity was a clue people should not get involved. EXACLTY OPPOSITE OF THE POSITIONING WITH WHICH THEY WERE FORTHCOMING.
2. My lack of involvement in this wicked enviornment was a testiment to its evil.
3.
4.

[Jimmy]

Her mouth is so Fucking big it pisses me off. So she can cook. Big deal. She should cook something and throw in down that Giant Mouth.Along with some Ritz