Photoshop, the world's most widely used photo retouching software, has caused a massive shake-up in the cosmetic, fitness and plastic surgery industries after launching its newest product,
Photoshop in a Can. Insiders claim this new form of sprayable Photoshop will eliminate the need for cosmetics, hair styling products, fitness centers and elective cosmetic surgery . Analysts predict the product will cause the beauty industry to collapse and thousands of jobs will be cut. Hair salons and gyms across the world will shut down. The City of Beverly Hills, CA has called in the National Guard to assist with the angry swarms of protesting plastic surgeons and personal fitness trainers.
Photoshop in a Can promises effortless beauty and perfection with one push of a button.
Madonna,
Gwen Stefani, and
many others are said to be hoarding cases of the stuff. Even the President of France is
said to use it. Now, even the most homely individual can achieve the illusion of impossible beauty and unattainable perfection so widely pumped out by today's media. Truly a miracle in a can.
Photoshop in a Can was used for the
Britney Spears Allure magazine shoot. Sources say
Britney arrived at the
photo shoot as a dishelved mess. Her makeup was 3 days old, her wig was fried, and it looked like she hadn't bathed in days. No problem,
Photoshop in a Can transformed her into a comely young vixen with a tight body and soft flowing hair....all with just one touch of a button.
Medium: graphite and ink on paper, Photoshop. Photo from Allure.com
Over the course of the next few days, I'll post additional awe-inspiring before and after images of celebrities who use
Photoshop in a Can.
Holy CRAP 14! That before is so damn ugly.....yet it still looks like her. You really managed to make her look like her dad. I mean, that's pretty much her dad in a dress with weird breasts.
LOVE it!
Posted by: Elizebeth | August 23, 2007 at 01:10 PM
Can I get Photoshop in a Can? It would make getting ready for work in the morning a whole lot simpler! Love the before and after!
Posted by: rlr260 | August 23, 2007 at 01:32 PM
Perhaps your most brilliant work to date
Bravo
I think the Photoshop in a can should be applied to the Three Disgraces
Posted by: ChaosbyDesign | August 23, 2007 at 01:44 PM
Awesome x 1,000,000,000,000 (infinity)
I've been thinking she looks like Mrs. Potato Head lately.... you nailed it!
Posted by: zamboni | August 23, 2007 at 02:07 PM
Hilarious. Pre-PSinCan Britney looks very Tenniel-esque.
Posted by: karenology | August 23, 2007 at 02:57 PM
Classic GOTA, baby!!! I just burst lauging out loud ... along with the rest of your devoted legions.
You are sooooo funny sometimes, Mx. 14! Thank you - i really needed the laugh - i just spent the last half-hour reading about politics.
Now I'm in a good mood again.
Posted by: Knox Bronson | August 23, 2007 at 03:24 PM
This is perfection, 14! From the squished chins to the used-up pancake boobs to the ever-present red neck, not a detail was missed of the atrocity that is Britney.
You rock.
Posted by: zenflower | August 23, 2007 at 04:10 PM
i'd prefer an oil-free lotion, thanks.
Posted by: kdl | August 23, 2007 at 04:34 PM
Wow. Clicking over to D-listed made me so sad -no wonder our culture is so messed up, that we think we need to edit people so much that they don't even look human anymore. Some of the "befores" are better than the "afters", I thought...
And the Britney portrait here? Looks just like the un-airbrushed ones I've seen. Freaking awesome.
Posted by: superblondgirl | August 23, 2007 at 04:34 PM
That Britney pic will give me nightmares LOL...
Seriously though, it's one of your best!
Posted by: Morrigan | August 23, 2007 at 04:38 PM
So genius like always¡¡
Posted by: Pablo Vazquez | August 23, 2007 at 04:38 PM
Motherfucking hell!!! Goddamn it!!! JESUS PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!! MOTHERFUCK!!!! You nailed it 14!!!! You fucking nailed it!!!!! The before picture looks EXACTLY like Shitney Spears!!! ARE YOU LISTENING BRITNEY, THIS IS HOW YOU LOOK!!!!!!
That Allure photo shoot was 100% bullshit!! Did they lay it on thick or what!! Shitney is not that svelte!! Her skin is not peaches and cream!!! I will never know how this bitch became so famous. She is not pretty and she is not talented.
Posted by: Demon Kitty | August 23, 2007 at 05:34 PM
PS I just had to come back to AND say...... Her head and chest look like an engorged stumpy penis with tiny, malformed balls.
In addition, I AM SO MOTHERFUCKING GODAMN SICK AND TIRED OF SEEING HER IN THOSE FUCKING BOOTS AND THAT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING COWBOY HAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE BRITNEY!!!!! DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!!!DIE!!!! AND TAKE PARIS, TARA REID, HOHAN, JESSIC SIMPSON AND FUCKING MADONNA (WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE VINCENT GALLO IN DRAG THESE DAYS) WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It has been a rough, rough, day.
Posted by: Demon Kitty | August 23, 2007 at 05:38 PM
the wide set eyes, triple fourhead, double chin, and rockin greasy weave all come together to set this piece off. i just wish that damn cris angel, world's largest chancre sore, would use some of his cheap ghetto abracadabra vodoo whachamacallit magic and make brittney spears disappear for good in some fantastic ball of cheeto dust. naturally this would be a pay-per-view event sponsored in part by the hilton hotel chains.
Posted by: deanna1104 | August 23, 2007 at 06:21 PM
Even if FDA and the all-powerful beautifying industry managed to get this product banned, I do believe Photoshop in a Can will be sold pretty quickly in the black market and can be found in the many hiding places of celebrities. Would the oily Bear brothers be able to afford a can between them after they've been disinherited?
Posted by: Eize | August 23, 2007 at 06:34 PM
by the way, whose face is on can?
Posted by: deanna1104 | August 23, 2007 at 06:46 PM
Genius!
Posted by: Edward | August 23, 2007 at 07:42 PM
ROTFLMAO!! I've always wondered about that giant neck but no one I know has ever said anything about it. Not only do you do awesomely funny portraits of famous idiots, you are extremely observant!! Thanks for making your drawings so hideously real. :o)
Robin
Posted by: Robinn | August 23, 2007 at 07:52 PM
I can't help it....i love you!
Posted by: qui | August 23, 2007 at 08:10 PM
I love you.
That Britney image will be burned in my mind....hilarious!
Posted by: parissucksliterally | August 23, 2007 at 08:29 PM
You are insanely talented -- that is WILD!!! So on the money it isn't even funny. How DO ya go do it?! AMAZING!!!
Posted by: Lily | August 23, 2007 at 08:35 PM
I nearly peed my self laughing. And the comments (demon Kitty and Deanne) were pretty funny as well.
14, i have a massive crush on you. You are a genius (now all i have to do is get a sex change and convince you to marry me ).
Posted by: kim | August 23, 2007 at 10:16 PM
Photoshop in a can is so apt, and has been so topical of late - i.e Ms Spears and also Courtney Love. Hilarious and spot on, as always!
x
just a girl
Posted by: just a girl | August 23, 2007 at 11:01 PM
We need to just spray the whole planet. Than we can all be fake pretty and not need celebs anymore. :)
Posted by: sugarbear | August 23, 2007 at 11:19 PM
God I love your art.
Posted by: 88maggie88 | August 24, 2007 at 12:01 AM