I had my hand slapped recently by Paris Hilton's attorney after I painted crabs scurrying near the vicinity of her crotch. A warning to other artists and bloggers: you may not add crustaceans to any of your creative interpretations of Paris Hilton because doing so implies Ms. Hilton has loathsome diseases and you'll be threatened with defamation. However, no one said anything was wrong with painting Paris Hilton as a crab. The Heiress Crab is an invasive species of crustacean found in Southern California. It can be spotted crawling around Barneys, Kitsons, the In-N-Out Burger and in various nightclub VIP rooms. It has numerous natural enemies and can't seem to hold on to any friends. Cops enjoy pulling the Heiress Crab over not because it often breaks the law, but because they want to ask it out to dinner. Recently the Heiress Crab was sentenced to spend time in a crab trap as punishment for it's bad behavior and now it's claws are out for vengeance. Medium: oil on wood. Much thanks to GeekSugar for this nice write up and interview confirming the fact that I am indeed a geek. Update Sept. 2012: I am no longer a geek. I am now a nature freak/mystery elf.