The World's Most Expensive Handbag

Much discussion has erupted over the recent announcement of the $45,000 Loius Vuitton bag. Only two dozen were made, and despite the fact they look like something a lawnmower chewed up, all have quickly sold out. If you think paying $45,000 is outrageous, then get a load of this Loius Vuitton $150,000 Urban Satchel debuting for Spring 2008:

Made of the world's finest Italian leather, this one-of-a-kind luxury handbag is hand-crafted with carefully chosen "urban charms". The proud owner of this exclusive handbag will be able to flaunt her impeccable style and lavish taste to a world that can only dream about owning such a rare and precious possession. Medium: an old purse found in the back of my closet, rubber cement, various bits of trash found on the sidewalks of San Francisco.

Ashley Olsen has signed a multimillion dollar endorsement deal to advertise the $150,000 Urban Satchel in upcoming issues of Vogue. It's rumored the Olsen Twins are locked in heated battle over who gets to purchase the bag, while Anna Wintour and Victoria Beckham have started a nasty bidding war for it. Medium: Photoshop collage.

I hate to say it, but the $45,000 bag pictured above looks sooooo last season compared to the innovative design of the Urban Satchel.

Comments

[trilbynhiss]

That used band-aid really adds a touch of class... ah, if only I could afford that bag *sigh*

[angstmama]

I think anyone who doesn't have the urban satchel is beyond pathetic. I mean, c'mon!

[technotala]

i love the tully's coffee cup. looks like an assortment of things i see on the ground near the broken public restroom near the transbay terminal. klassy!

[fanny pack]

The scrimp tail is what gets me.

[Demon Kitty]

Love that shrimp tail on there. I was looking to see if you stuck any used condoms on there, LOL! I mean if it is Urban and cutting edge, it has to have a rubber. We all know that people who can afford and own 45 thousand dollar handbags fuck like no one else on the planet. They have the kind of sex that us scum can only dream about.

[YabaDabaDoo]

Is that a used tea bag beside the cig pack? Mm.. this inspires me to wear my evening gown.

[Angela]

This look like something I would find in a pile of trash in New York City with a bulimic person stuck to it

[Maybelline Jones]

I was waiting for someone besides me to make fun of this brokedown bag. What is wrong with people? Anything Louis Vuitton makes is absolutely grorgeous just because it has the name. How dumb.

[lauren]

it's spelled Louis Vuitton, NOT LOUIE

[pedro]

Lauren, DUUUUUHHHHHHHH
you miss the point the artist is trying to make.

[Stephanie]

They did a study not to long ago about germs growing on handbags....This one needs to be tested stat!!! UGH!!! My purses are way cuter than that lol!

[Jennifer]

they forgot to put a used condom or a tampon on there...maybe they are on the other side...

[u58]

honestly i thought that bag was real, and i wanted it for a second...
lol.

[SlumNobility]

Actually, I think your send up of this latest bit of ridiculous cultural ephemera is one of your cleverest yet....in the fact that the art world is every bit as pretentious and vapid as the celebrity scene, I'm sure you could parlay this idea into a gallery show...

[Sarah]

Well, they have to do something with their money...

[Jenn F.]

14, your bag is perfect... the shrimp tail and the dirty band-aid are definitely my favourite details.

I can't believe it ~ the "real" LV bag, how unbelievably fugly. I wouldn't pay ten bucks for it, and $1000 is laughable. Over forty grand? That's just stupid. For someone to spend forty five thousand dollars on a bag that's not even remotely attractive, they'd better be spending twenty times that amount on charities and/or environmental causes or the karma police are going to pop some nasty caps in their asses.

[tearose]

What the hell is wrong with people??? 150K for a bag is a house for a family. 45K a small condo...this just goes to show how truly material these people are. I bet you after a few wears it will be in the back of some girl's closet...so last season. I wander what they will come up with next. I agree I hope the proud owners are giving 2 x the amount to a needy charity.

[Cyclops Kitten Natividad]

What's really sad is that the same dumb bitches who buy this sort of ugly crap purse can't be bothered to plunk down $9.99 at Costco for a six pack of cotton undies.
And then they have to go find some paparazzi to take pictures of their naked cooches to prove it to us.

[Chansmom]

Whoa! You do realize that many will line up to buy your creation, don't you? A used syringe might be going over board, but think of the those that do go for the "heroin chic" look. Like, the Olsen twins? LOL!

Very nice!

[Melanie]

That is an UGLY motherlovin' purse.

[happybunny]

Oh dear god how perfect. They will buy anything with a couture label.

[Elizabeth]

I think that the artist just put some garbage on a loui bag ta-da a 150,00 dollar bag...B.S.

[Rita]

See! That's the hottest bag of the season! I am sure we will start seeing some high school girls wearing one of those fake ones and hanging around in the mall! Damn it! I can't even afford the fake one!

[Fingerella]

Nice to see Lauren's comment here. Of course everybody needs to hear what a superficial individual like her would think about this satire.

[Fingerella]

Jesus... I just missed Elizabeth's magnificent comment.

Elizabeth honey, did you happen to forgot your
80 cc brain somewhere before typing your comment?

[Most Expensive Items]

Seriously, I wont buy that patch bag even if I can. That is so unbelievable. I had an updated list of the most expensive items ever.You might want to look at them. Thank you.

http://www.most-expensive-designer-brand-items.blogspot.com/

[Adam Smith.]

This bag either presages the end of Western Civilisation, or documents the nervous breakdown of a designer.

Like all modern consumer items it is supposed to indicate something about the innate sensibilities of the person who owns it. In this case it demonstrates that the person sporting this fash-mag trash is a complete and utter fuckanoodle,acting as a giant warning signal to anybody with a modicum of intelligence,screaming, "stay away from the idiot". One could therefore argue that it performs an important social service. More should be made.

Fourteen took on the Herculean task of parodying something that could not be parodied and by and large succeeded. I'm not sure if it would go down well in the American market, but there are shops near where I live in London that would sell her bag, especially since it's handcrafted by an artist.
With the right spin, wealthy fuck-muppets will buy anything.

[Candice]

I'm finding it hard to get over the actual purse that's being made fun of in order to enjoy the parody. I cannot believe that anyone would buy that, even people that are known for wasting money. Just...wow.

[Judi]

There are millions of starving people and this? PULEEEEEEEZ, God, help us all!

[Kai]

Holy knapsack! I have no arts and crafts skills, but I can make that $45,000 handbag, no problem! How much do you think for a LV knockoff? Why do women spend so much on purses? I asked my girlfriend this before we broke up (I swear that did not contribute to the breakup). Is it brand name? Look, I know guys can spend a ridiculous amounts of money on cars. But they look good, are useful, and spending more on one probably means it will perform better! You can get a nice car for $45,000! It will carry your stuff and take you places! How can you spend so much money on something that just carries your sh*t around? It's not like you can improve on the functioning of that. Oh, and while you're explaining that to me, can you explain the shoe thing to me, too? I really don't get that.

Shalom,
Kai
(Your token Jewish commenter)

P.S. 14 does the Urban Satchel smell like a NYC subway station? Mmmmmm.

[Che]

You forgot the used condom wrapper

[Shoegirl]

I can see a dog nawing on that purse as his own special chew toy or somebodys toddler picking off every intricate $150,000 detail one by one.

[Christina T.]

I've been following your blog for a year or so now (the only blog I really read), but this is my first time posting.

I just found this particular post one of the funniest entries you have done in a long time! I cannot fathom how even the wealthiest of the wealthy would blow that much money on a shitty, ugly purse. It costs less than what my entire college education will be once I finally get out of school. I don't really understand high fashion, either.

My marketing teacher is right, people just buy things like this to show that they can. I'll just stick to the gap. Hell, even the gap is sometimes too expensive for me!
Oy gevalt!
But, hope you don't mind that I linked your website from my facebook. I'm trying to get my friends hooked on your site too.

xxoo
Christy

[Adam Smith.]

Civilisations rise and fall. This one will eventually,(probably not as soon as soon as the present carbon farting war monkies seem to want it to), but it will end. My main worry is that future archaeologists won't unearth a copy of "The Theory Of Relativity", Stevie Wonder's "Innervisions",
or even a really good computer (Mac or P.C,no preference);instead they'll find , a DVD of the "Simple Life" (series one), David Hasselhof's mummified body and this fucking bag.
They will then declare this epoch as unworthy of study, and deserving of whatever fate befell it.

[deanna]

gee whiz kai,
last year you wanted us to explain spam, no vienna sausage... now it's tell me about the purse and shoes appeal. I hate to say this but I feel like you're sucking your friends dry. :0)
DemonKitty, I must admit I too searched immediately for the the used pink or purple condom, hanging ever so slightly from the side with the torn sporty condom foil wrapper placed with tender care on or near the zipper, advertising the improved grape flavor bursting with new fruitiness...and whatever else. beyond that unnecessary comment, 14 how dare you try to push this bag on the public without the mercedes auto piece you broke off some idiots car who probably has the real mccoy in trunk? I simply wouldn't buy the bag without it. it's like c'mmon you know the crowd is hard to please. I love the bag and would like to see you auction it on ebay... I'm sure if you gave it some swanky french name you could get more than what lv is asking for that piece of trashy trash. can't wait for the knockoffs.

[deanna]

demonkitty,
when i mentioned unnecessary comment i was referring to my own vulgar unecessary comment about the intense fruity grape flavored prophylaxis. i didn't want my words to be misinterpreted. looking at that bag again i seriously think a boca burger box or used syringe would set that bag off...

[Adam Smith.]

I have fakes of Fourteen's bag available for sale on E-bay, for only 5oo euros.
No dollars please.If you pay in U.S dollars YOU pay the conversion fees.

Every bag is hastily slung together by an army of cold turkey junkies, on a one bag one hit basis. All bags are original and personally signed in junky blood, with a choice of Hepatitus A,B or C varieties.

A perfect fusion of Haute Couture, and urban deprivation, with tiny little pockets for your own personal vice (Clarky Cats, Purple Munchers,Jelly Bentines,Yellow Moshers,Disco-Biscuits,etc).
Each one is unique,like Andy Warhol meets Charles Bukowski as imagined by a Crackhead.
A parody of a parody, that's so ironic, you'll never know whether you're being very clever or extremely stupid.

They also come available with free T-shirts declaring the witless anodyne philosophy of the buyer.

So far we have:

The Olsen.

"I'm frightened and depressed. Let's see if nobody will notice me,if I hide behind this giant bit of designer rubbish".

The Hilton

"Fuck you all. It's true I'm a nauseating little bobble head, with the erotic appeal of a moose drowning in a tarpit.But me,my Dad and my Boyfriend could buy you all a million times over.So, er...Fuck you all, Firecrotch Bastards"

And finally the Lohan. Which comes in two types.

"Read my lips.Because I'm so fucked on Jelly Bentines,the face has not said anything other than 'bibble',in three hours"

That last one's a thinker.

And the rather less subtle.

"Come on boys.It's not going to lick itself"

Buy them now, while stocks (and junkies) last. It's almost as cool as playing soccer with a dog.

[Viper Tetsu]

Adam, 'fuck-muppet' is my new favorite word. Bless you, my brother, for expanding my Yank vocabulary.

And dear Quatorze, no one calls Emperor's-New-Clothes Bullshit on celebrity fads and indulgences so hilariously. Checkmate.

How much of the Goth Stoned Raccoon Dominatrix Olsen Twin pic is real and how much (if any) has been, um, surgically altered? Inquiring minds wanna know.

[Lachrymose Kai]

Deanna, I am crying heavy tears of ashamedness. I had no idea my quest for enlightenment was sapping the souls and knowledge banks of those closest to me. When a man reaches up into the sky to try to grab a star, he is unaware of those he may be trodding upon to reach that star. That star being, of course, understanding women's buying decisions. Yet is such a star worth crushing my friends underneath my careless feet? I shall be content to watch the star glint upon the surface of the pool of reflection, believing that yet someday my friends may elevate me to greater heights of understanding. But only when they have found those reserves of strength within themselves, which will surely be reciprocated by me.

Cum meis pedibus terram, stellam capere non possum.

Wishing for forgiveness,
Kai
(Your commenter who is too woeful to put his tagline)

[Noelegy]

Add the ridiculously expensive handbags to the list of things I Just Don't Get. I have a purse that I bought two years ago at Target. It cost $15 and has no designer name on it. Yet it performs its function as well as anything LV ever fobbed on a foolish public. It may say to some that I am ignorant of what's hip and hot and happenin', but to me it's just my purse and it carries my stuff.

[Charlton Hawking]

"Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique." -- Mugatu

[Coffeegod]

Rich people will friggin' buy anything.

[64]

Is that a raisin on that wadded napkin or ?
As usual, You are fabulous!!!!!

[i hate idiot]

You know, I don't think some of these idiots get it. The big purse for 150,000 is fake and it is done as a humorous drawing. Some people actually think it is real. bah. We are doomed. As for the original purse, Bleh

[deanna1104]

sweet sweet kai,
please continue to apologize. i, praytell, have never read such sweet apology. i will remain here, in this place, before thine screen, until hence, the one who call himself kai, the man to woeful to leave a tagname, returns to bedazzle said blog with words plucked from the sweetest tree of wordiness. continue child, to raise my ego to further heights yet unknown. i forgive you for treading carelessly while trodding selfishly all over our friendship, but just this one time and only after your finish the apology, as requested. :0)
deanna

[samd]

This is very clever. I love that and the African baby bag.

[Anna]

Is Marc Jacobs the designer of this bag?? Can someone tell me where i can find more info on the bag??

[CAROLINE]

THATZ A NASTY A** PEICE OF S**T WHO DA HELL WOULD BUY GARBAGE AS A PURSE? S**T ILL MAKE MY OWN DAMN BAG OUTTA GARBAGE FROM MY RECYCLABLES

[TC Girl]

Your Art is simply FAMULOUS darlin' love it all - Art should stimulate the mind and when it makes you Laugh Out Loud - the irony of it all is complete. Thanks for sharing. TC

its the most poofiest bag ive eva seen