The Angelina Jolie Hands-Free Multiple Child Carrier

Angelina Jolie recently announced she has filed papers to adopt yet another exotic overseas orphan. Faced with the burden of carrying so many children while traveling the world for humanitarian reasons, Jolie commissioned a designer to create a stylish transport to fit her unique needs. The Angelina Jolie Hands-Free Multiple Baby Carrier is a sleek device that carries up to four children and features diaper storage, a bottle and sippy cup holder, an insulated snack compartment, and retractable toys. Best of all, the carrier allows Angelina to keep her hands free to pick up other orphans that might catch her eye. Available by special order only, but hurry, there's a growing wait list. Madonna has already placed her order and other celebrities are likely to follow. Medium: ink on paper, digital color.

Comments

[SugerBear]

From dogs to people celebs will collect anything. Great as always! :)

[Vendredi13]

excellent ! love your drawings !

[mellen]

Phffft. LOL. Oh how true.

[EVA]

An orphan is the new Hollywood "accessory". And you can never have too many of those....

Love your work, 14 ;)

[The Muffin]

haha 14, you rule! I love this one!!!!

[Candice]

I'm sure we have to have at least SOME "exotic looking" orphans here in America. At least 10 that would suit her liking.

[JJ]

NICE! It is like she's collecting them..like Pokemon characters. Gotta catch em all! lol

[luca]

ok ,that's fuckin funny!

[Robert Vandenbego]

Hi! Very interesting illustation. I really like your blog.
Regards ;0)

Robert
Madrid, Spain

[DP]

Posterior view reveals snap-ring for easy on/off attachment of pull-toy husbands.

[fanny pack]

Fourteen -- Once again you've hit the nail of satire out of the park. In the words of James Lipton, "Well done," or "Scrumtralescent!"

You have an eye for detail that borders on comedic genius, but I am sure you've heard that before.

x fp

[Shonna]

OMG THAT IS SOOO FREAKING FUNNY!! I WILL HAVE A LITTLE LIGHT SKIN BLACK AMERICAN BABY FOR BRAGELINA IF THEY WANT A SIBLING FOR PRINCESS Z! ROTFLMAO BUT THEY ARE MY FAVORITE COUPLE EVER!

[Ophelia]

Ooh, I like this one, 14! That is a very creative, functional orphan carrier!

[Demon Kitty]

You know, how do you go from cutting yourself and drinking Billy Bob's blood to adopting a child from every third world country on the map? What is she going to do when this phase is over, when she gets bored with it? You can't send children back to the pound when you get tired of them. I am so over her! Some people collect ceramic bunnies, frogs, or shoes. This woman collects orphans! She is a maniac! I am sick and tired of her boyfriend/husband snatching, vampire, Sally Struthers ways! Her shit is out of control! Does Brad Pitt have a brain anymore, or did it come out of his dick when he started shooting his load into Angelina? And for God's sake, she needs to chop off that stringy hair and eat a fucking hamburger! I wonder what goes through the minds of third world children at orphanages? Oh look, here is that white skeleton lady coming to save us!

[Damien]

Yeah I'd love to see Brad strapped up like that.

[Morrigan]

Funny and it makes ya think. Kudos as always! :)

[gilmore]

Oh my god, this is so perfect. Amazing as always!

[CrazyHouse Mom]

I agree with Ophelia. She needs to calm down with all the adoption. I mean yeah its great what she is doing for all those children but like Ophelia said, what is she going to do when she's over this phase in her life? What's she going to do when the press stops caring about all the stuff she is doing? I seen the shirts "Team Jolie" and "Team Aniston".. I think he should have stuck it out with Jen. She isnt all crazed and stuff. I heard Angelina freaked out when she caught Brad reading an article on the internet about Jen's new nose job about a month or so ago. Grow up Angie!

[Zoey]

http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2007/03/the_angelina_jo.html#comments

Look! You were featured on the Celebrity Baby Blog!!

Great work, as usual! I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds Ang's "baby-collecting" a bit on the odd side.

[pun_inpendid]

Ok, technically this is not correct - physically or politically - since all of the kids had already been born when she scooped them - but my first thought when I saw 14's "master"piece (though is also truly masterpiece) was LAURA CROFT, WOMB RAIDER! Another classic 14, 14. Love it! I guess as long as she takes care of them - and she does appear to, it's cool. I will admit that I too wonder why more celebs don't adopt or help out at home. And it does seem sort of like she is now picking up stray "kid"tens -oh wait, she said she wants a dozen, not ten. Much of what Angelina Jolie is and does doesn't resonate with personally, but I will give her credit for getting out among the people in the countries she visits and for not charging these people $3,500 to be in her exalted presence and for making sure the children she does adopt from far and wide get to go back to visit where they came from and are taught about their roots and cultures. This one is riveting 14 - the concept and the rendition, not the orphan magnate ... um magnet : )

[Kamala]

AAAAAAAAAHAHAHA this one made me laugh pretty damn hard, 14. As Fanny Pack so eloquently said, truly Scrumtralescent. One of my first thoughts was- Angelina herself will have to end up seeing this one; it's just too good.

[pun_inpendid]

Meant to add 14 - you have really captured the likenesses/seeming personalities/expressions to a T and a tee hee - of Angie, Mad, Zahara (or Shakira as I think Jon Voight mistakenly called her when sending b'day wishes from BAFTA red carpet). It is like looking at a photograph, only better because you created them instead of a machine and you have captured their nuances so very well. And made us again think and bust a gut too.

[Anita]

That's great! If I keep having kids, I'm going to need one of those too! ;)

[Morrigan]

Amen, Demon Kitty. Amen. I'm sure they view Madonna the same way (white skeleton lady).

[Orchid]

Very funny! Very good! There's room for three more (left shoulder and forearms).
I really like the Jolie-Pitt family.

[ambivalent]

your all such shits, shes trying to do something good for other people in the world and you just rip into her. No woneder other celebrities dont bother helping

[Nikky]

How can anyone be so stupid? there are enough babys to adopt in her own country why does she have to fly all around the world to do so.
I'm really sorry for the babys she has now cause the dont/wont get the attention they need.
She needs to think before she (they) act.
Those babys arent dolls who she can put in the closet when she doesnt want to play with them anymore.

[Ophelia]

Hi everyone and 14! I was just reading through the comments here and someone (I believe it's CrazyHouse Mom) said that she agreed with "Ophelia" (that's me!) but actually the person she was agreeing with is DemonKitty. My comment above had nothing to do with Angelina Jolie's orphan adoption going out of control...

[Someone stop Jolie NOW!]

Jolie is completely insane buying third world kids on a whim and no one seems able to stop her.

She even talks about colour matching the skin of new kids she will buy to match the shade of the current ones. Someone has to stop her from compulsively buying babies.

[pun_inpendid]

Lara Croft - previous post amended - temp. dyslexia w/migraines makes me think typing something, and see one thing at time and then realize goof later and don't always recognize when in middle of that challenge.

[Nicole]

Although this pic is funny, I think a lot of these comments aren't. To all of the people who are saying that her children will suffer, I find it hard to believe that you would be so blind and ignorant. These children were living in third world orphanages where there is real suffering. It's a real sad reflection of this society when a woman tries to change the lives of children and she gets ridiculed and mocked for it.

[markus]

AMAZING.. Put this is the People or Star Magazine Cover. it's so funny & true. Go for it let eh world see this amazing child carrier. ANGELINA IS THE HOTTEST MOMMA IN THE WORLD.!!

[Angelina Jolie = Josephine Baker]

You people who say "why doesn't she adopt in the US" don't know much about adoption. It's very hard to adopt races other than your own in the States, because there are so many advocates of minority children stressing keeping minority kids in minority families...no matter what the cost to the kids themselves.

Also, if you get a kid whose parents or close family members are still around, you will live the rest of your life in fear that the courts will take your kids away and give them back to their bio-family, even if the bio-family are insane, drug-addled abusers. I can completely understand why a person wanting to adopt a baby goes overseas; sure it's expensive, but at least all the legal crap is finished in the beginning, and doesn't go on for a couple more decades.

[Kristi]

I bet the reason that no celeb so far has adopted a teenager here in the U.S. is this: Because the celebs act like teens themselves. With babies you can raise them and still mold them into whatever you want them to be. But teens? Yeah.. too much work.

Teens go through the system until they're 18 and then given the boot. They're given some cash and told to go make a life for themself. Money is not everything. Guidance is. These celebs need to perhaps grow up.

Btw, good job, 14. It'd be funny if you had all these faceless kids in the background with question marks over their faces.

[deanna]

Well now that color coordination has been brought up.. I'm happy she's getting another egg shell slightly golden complexion male child to match the sun rippened sugar caramalized coconut cream male child she already has. Now the trick is not to go back to the same country to get a coffee mocha latte caramel dipped female with resistant kinky hair(cuz that's a bother and i'm here to tell you), but to find the frosted lemon deep peach lightly sauteed indian brown africanesque female to compliment Zahara without pulling too much from her tan hues. This is all very challenging I'll have you other people know. My only hope is that both of these individuals continue to coordinate the love, support, and attention these children will need.

[PatPS]

Hilarious. I so enjoy your artwork and your sense of, well, the absurd. Thank you!

[UndecidedPerfect]

I agree with Ambivalent.

Im so sick and tired of hearing people using the same goddamn argument, "Why doesnt she adopt from her own backyard!?"

Because North American orphans
a) Have a better chance of being adopted and spend less time in orphanages and foster homes than third world children

b) North American orphans have less of a chance of dying from war, AIDS, disease, hunger

c) North American orphans are less likely to become sex slaves, prostitutes, child labor workers and are less likely to die before their 13th birthday.

So why wouldnt she give these orphans a better chance at life? Its so unfair of people to judge her on the grounds that she doesnt adopt from America, if she has the funds, the means and the love for these kids who are we to judge?

Just because you gave a couple kids some loonies for their Unicef box at Halloween or dropped a can of cream corn in the donation box at Christmas hardly allows you to judge her on moral grounds - get over yourselves.

[Kai]

About the color coordination- yes, she's doing a pretty good job, but she needs a bit more of a medium golden tone- something like caramel mocha with a dash of cinnamon. Like me. Oh, I have but one public service announcement, related to Kristi's thought, that older kids need adopting too. Whether 5 or 13, they still need help. Oh, and ambivalent, just what are you ambivalent about? Just like many politicians, celebrities can't be fussed what we think. We're the reason they're making millions of dollars for doing something that doesn't have to be good or productive, but anyway- we're sources of their popularity, but they certainly aren't going to change because of us. Oh, and UndecidedPerfect- really? Your name makes it to easy. What's your moral high ground? How can you pass judgement? I'd love to adopt kids, but my condition, mentally, physically, and financially would make caring for a child very difficult and it wouldn't be fair to the child. I also don't have tons of money to give to charity, but when I get enough to be survival level, I donate. Anyway, everyone has a right to criticize. I felt guitly about giving my opinion on war to an IDF sargeant, since I have no military experience, but he said it's fine, I don't need to experience war to talk about it. Likewise, I don't need to give $1000 per month to talk about charity. For the record, I am really and truly ambivalent on the subject of Jolie.

Shalom,
Kai
(Boo.)

[Christina]

First, I'm not familiar with Brangelina's comments on adopting "same color" siblings for their pre-existing children. However, purely from a research/psychological standpoint, studies have shown that adopted children who grow up with at least one sibling who closely resembles them typically are more well-adjusted and healthier than those who do not. Some books to help educate yourselves: "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla" and "Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?" (Sorry, I don't have author names readily available).

Second, there are numerous reasons why individuals choose to adopt from overseas rather than domestically. As mentioned in previous comments, there is a smaller potential for having your children taken away by the courts (although to be fair, this chance is already small to begin with, despite media hype). It is also a misconception that adopting overseas is for white, wealthy individuals. FYI, there is an approx. $11,000 tax credit for adoption, in addition to many employers offering $3,000 - $5,000 in grants for individuals adopting. Not to mention a plethora of grants out there. So the prices end up being remarkably similar; and remember, individuals aren't paying for the children, they are paying for lawyer's fees, gov't fees, and numerous related costs, regardless of whether they're adopting from the U.S. or abroad.

Finally, it is fantastic when individuals adopt older children out of our foster care system. However, those who have experience and/or have done research into this understand that it is a VERY CHALLENGING undertaking and requires parents who have unique gifts and unlimited patience. It is certainly not for everyone, and I applaud those who take the time for self-evaluation and choose to adopt those children whom their own personalities make them suitable to parent.

To sum up: Try to keep an open mind and recognize that not every adoption is suitable for every person; we want children to be matched appropriately, not just for the sake of "getting them out of the system."

[Kristi]

Undecied Perfect,

So, North American children rank low on the scale of concern in your eyes? True, I can't say I've seen a little kid here in America get tied up to a pole while his village is being destroyed (and I'm sure I'd want to help that kid, as well), but I'm also tired of hearing about babies being thrown in dumpsters here, of kids suffering negelect, of the government's so-called help here to parent-less teens, that most families here can't afford health insurance, whatever. Just saying, you're making it sound like suffering in one country can actually be weighed against another country on terms of importance. I bet some people would even call me selfish for adopting here vs. adopting in India.

[Zooblogy]

Can Brat or the nanny not look afther the kids for awhile?

[chansmom]

Why do people come here and rant about something that is supposed to bring laughter? Get over yourselves.

Angelina and her puppet, er, Brad, are celebrities, and with that comes a certain amount of attention. And boy do those two draw attention. It comes with the job.

As for Angelina going baby shopping every few months, I hope she does have true noble intentions. She's not the first to run out and adopt every child she lays eyes on. Anyone remember Mia Farrow? She did the same thing. A.J is just picking up the slack, and the portrait is very funny when you think about how she tries to be all things at all times.

Lighten up! It's satire.

[kelly]

Amen PatPS. Very eloquently said.

[get over yourselves people]

how about all of you adopt a kid so that there aren't any left for stars to play it.

otherwise, keep your mouths shut

[Jenn F.]

I love this piece. VERY funny. And DP's comment about the snap-ring for the pull-toy husband was the perfect added detail.

I can never quite decide how I feel about Angelina Jolie. On one hand, she's pulled some pretty stupid stunts in the past with the viles of blood, sharing her sex life with ex-husband Thornton a bit too much with the public, claiming to be "exactly" like the character Lara Croft, and generally being a bit of a smarmy testicle.

On the other hand, she's undeniably beautiful, appears to be quite intelligent, is pretty damn cool, and is spending her time trying to make a significant difference in the world with the U.N., using her fame to draw attention to important issues.

I do, however, think that whatever she chooses to do with her personal life is her business. Seeing as she hasn't dropped a baby or driven around with it on her lap, she's entitled to adopt as many damn kids as she pleases. After all, she can certainly afford an army of nannies if need be. Even so, you don't often see her without at least some of the kids, like any other parent.

I think it's a bit presumptive of Crazyhouse Mom, Ophelia, and others to assume they know the motivation behind A.J.'s multiple adoptions and say she should "grow up" when they have no information about her personal life aside from gossip tabloids. I also wonder who made any of these people the authority on Jolie to know with certainty that this is a "phase" that she is going through. Yes she has gone through phases in the past, as many people do when they're in their teens and twenties... but it's a bit ignorant to try to bottle her into that mindset now and decide there's no way she could have grown past it over the years.

Although I can't call myself a huge fan of Jolie, I must admit I respect her more than a lot of celebs... she's spending more time trying to make a difference in third world countries than 90% of the rest put together. And I'm not talking about adopting kids, either. I'm talking about the humanitarian work she's done with the U.N.

As for the adoptions? Good for her. Those kids are going to have far better lives than they would have otherwise, and they need it a hell of a lot more than any kid in North America does... as explained very well by UndecidedPerfect. For those that criticize Jolie for it, what the hell are you doing aside from punching chips into your gaping cake-hole? She's one of the few celebs who deserves some level of admiration and respect. Fun as it may seem, not EVERYONE deserves to be dressed down. At least be selective in your choice.

[MollieBee]

pun_impended:

"Womb Raider"?!

That's fucking awesome.

14:

Love the picture, it's perfect.

[Erin]

Too funny!

I can't help but wonder what people would say about her if she hadn't pursued Brad. Perhaps we'd be more likely to see her actions as a little more pure & honest?

Personally, I think she may be trying to make up for a messed up life (cutting her Father out of her life, hooking up w/a married man, cutting herself, etc).

No matter her reasons, she is bringing attention where it is needed, helping more than most, and making a difference.

[amanda lewis]

several weeks ago aol posted a video clip of that stupid angelina at the opening of the good shepard and she was rambling on about living in new york as a young nobody attendig nyc and she suddenly said, " i remember having no friends...being a poor student...falling asleep on the subway and walking up at 110th street!" oh my god the look on her face when she realized what she'd just said...that she had funny memores of being a white women waking up in HARLEM!!!
priceless...she continued to ramble but you could tell she was spooked...embarrassed...
oh celebrtities...

[andrea]

yeahhhhh Undec. Perf. , very well put.
All the comments are so much fun to read.
And I Love how Maddox looks like a teenager and all the kids have so much instantly recogizable character. Except for Angelina. She just looks like Lara Croft.
I kind of think she's o.t.t. but, motherhood can make you step up to the plate. Why not her? She also had a wonderful, loving mother,as an example, who let her live out all her inner demons and act out (drinking b.Bob's thornton's blood, tatoos, etc), so she is just about on time for growing up, modern-time style. Back in the day, people had to grow up earlier. For survival. Now adolescence extends into the 30's, 40's, or more. I think she has a chance to be a wonderful, exemplary parent. Not that she dosent bug me,(husband snatcher) but then, WHO DOEs'T??!! excpet you all..I mean..Love you !!

[Emiliano]

You are simply a GENIUS!
Excellent site!
Love your work.