Gallery of the Absurd

Interstellar Bodhi Beetle

If you gaze into the beetle long enough, you might be able to see them. Medium: acrylic on board.

I'll be back from vacation early next week and will return to posting paintings based on the nonsense of celebrity gossip. Coming soon: Paris Hilton, Janice Dickinson and the Demented Food Chipmunk!

Secret Love Letter

This is a secret love letter and that is all I can reveal about it. Medium: Ink, pastel, acrylic on paper.

The Five-Booted Grasshopper

The Five-Booted Grasshopper is one of several curious creatures from my Botany in Wonderland series. Scientists are at a loss to explain why this majestic creature wears only five boots when it has six legs and are puzzled further why it chooses to wear shiny vinyl stilettos when it could easily choose a shoe that provides more comfort and stability. This is an older piece and has been posted to another blog buried in the depths of Gallery of the Absurd. Medium: ink and watercolor on page of old book.

Botany in Wonderland

This is the sort of work I do when I'm not creating celebrity gossip-inspired content for this blog. For the past three years, I've been creating a collection of surreal botanical illustrations of the flora and fauna of imaginary worlds. Many of the illustrations from my Botany in Wonderland series contain mystical references, hidden codes, and inexplicable allegories. Some of the illustrations are meant to be viewed from multiple angles so that hidden creatures may be revealed. While I enjoy painting and laughing at the social commentary generated by celebrity gossip, my real passion lies in seeking out gardens of Earthly delight. Prints available here. Medium: watercolor and ink on a scanned page from my great great great grandmother's journal dating back to 1850.

Oh, and since we're on the subject of strange creatures, check this story out.

The Five of Hearts

This illustration appeared in Issue #5 of the excellent independent art magazine, Faesthetic. Faesthetic is printed once a year and features emerging and underground artists, photographers, and illustrators. Since the theme of Issue #5 was "FIVE & NUDITY", I chose to illustrate my favorite playing card. Medium: ink on paper, digital color.

A Portrait of George Lucas

I'm taking a break from painting celebrity gossip for about a week or so and will be posting a few images of my "other" art while I'm on vacation. Even though this is a painting of a celebrity, it has nothing to do with gossip...I just really like George Lucas's swirling silver helmet of perfectly coiffed hair and I wanted to paint him. The title of this painting is "George Lucas's Hair Unfurls to Reveal A Secret Interdimensional Vortex Allowing Him To Communicate Telepathically With An Ancient Diety From A Galaxy Far, Far Away." Medium: acrylic, oil pastel, and charcoal on paper.

The World's Most Expensive Handbag

Much discussion has erupted over the recent announcement of the $45,000 Loius Vuitton bag. Only two dozen were made, and despite the fact they look like something a lawnmower chewed up, all have quickly sold out. If you think paying $45,000 is outrageous, then get a load of this Loius Vuitton $150,000 Urban Satchel debuting for Spring 2008:

Made of the world's finest Italian leather, this one-of-a-kind luxury handbag is hand-crafted with carefully chosen "urban charms". The proud owner of this exclusive handbag will be able to flaunt her impeccable style and lavish taste to a world that can only dream about owning such a rare and precious possession. Medium: an old purse found in the back of my closet, rubber cement, various bits of trash found on the sidewalks of San Francisco.

Ashley Olsen has signed a multimillion dollar endorsement deal to advertise the $150,000 Urban Satchel in upcoming issues of Vogue. It's rumored the Olsen Twins are locked in heated battle over who gets to purchase the bag, while Anna Wintour and Victoria Beckham have started a nasty bidding war for it. Medium: Photoshop collage.

I hate to say it, but the $45,000 bag pictured above looks sooooo last season compared to the innovative design of the Urban Satchel.

Nick Nolte to Star in Planet of the Apes Remake?

Nick Nolte will star as Dr. Zaius in the newest remake of Planet of the Apes. Not really, but he could easily do it. The producers would save time and money by not having to hire hair and makeup artists to transform Nolte into character. Image source: Getty Images

The Angelina Jolie Hands-Free Multiple Child Carrier

Angelina Jolie recently announced she has filed papers to adopt yet another exotic overseas orphan. Faced with the burden of carrying so many children while traveling the world for humanitarian reasons, Jolie commissioned a designer to create a stylish transport to fit her unique needs. The Angelina Jolie Hands-Free Multiple Baby Carrier is a sleek device that carries up to four children and features diaper storage, a bottle and sippy cup holder, an insulated snack compartment, and retractable toys. Best of all, the carrier allows Angelina to keep her hands free to pick up other orphans that might catch her eye. Available by special order only, but hurry, there's a growing wait list. Madonna has already placed her order and other celebrities are likely to follow. Medium: ink on paper, digital color.

Olsen Twins: Shaggy Little Imps of Hell?

The Olsen Twins have been seen skulking around the streets of New York while wearing nothing but black tights, homeless blankets and expensive handbags. Their tangled hair hangs languid and their oversized bug-eye glasses shield them from the prying eyes of humanity. Medium: charcoal, pastel, ink on paper.