Trump's Super Premium Valentine Hate Candy
Says Trump:
"Trump super premium luxury Valentine candies are a big idea. Everyone knows the Trump brand is the most recognizable and valued global trademark in existence today. When people see the Trump name, they know they're buying the unrivalled cache that only Trump can provide. These superior candies are crafted from the world's finest ingredients and will rapidly evolve into the unquestioned preference of uncompromising consumers. Trump Valentine Conversation Hearts will outsell all other candies in the Valentine consumables category and if you don't agree, you're a big fat ugly loser idiot with a fat disgusting head and I will take great pleasure in witnessing your public humiliation and failure."
14,......."You're Hired!!!"
Posted by: Mr.Man | February 05, 2007 at 04:56 AM
I love the expression on his face - he looks like a big, sulky kid.
Posted by: Melanie | February 05, 2007 at 05:52 AM
hehehe i luv this <3
Posted by: licoricepirate | February 05, 2007 at 06:24 AM
Good one 14!I always look forward to my weekly dose of absurdity...glad to see your selling prints now!
Posted by: Heather | February 05, 2007 at 07:53 AM
FUNNY funny, FUNNY. I love those. So perfect. He is odious. the quintessential ugly American. and a loudmouth. so uncouth. so wrongly given a forum in which to be feared and respected because of his colossal greed and flash. sigh. We "get" the culture we "deserve". Thank God you are here to counter it. Like planting a tree to assuage the carbon dioxide. But I still wish he'd just Go Away. that ugly, twisted mouth.
Posted by: andrea | February 05, 2007 at 07:55 AM
awesome as always, but why did you give him a haircut???? whyyyyy????
Posted by: | February 05, 2007 at 10:09 AM
Mmmm, just what everyone wants, candy that tastes like sour ass. Super funny though!
Posted by: Erik | February 05, 2007 at 10:21 AM
Oh the poor, poor little rich man.
No matter how many millions he makes, he'll still continue to look like a strained little hemmorhoid.
Posted by: Jenn F. | February 05, 2007 at 10:55 AM
The man is a malevolent prune. I like how you made his head too big for his body.
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | February 05, 2007 at 02:55 PM
Is he gonna give some candy to Rosie?
Posted by: Combover Bunny | February 05, 2007 at 04:42 PM
Yummy!
I guess they taste like bile and arrogance.
Posted by: Yetused | February 05, 2007 at 05:07 PM
*laughing an exceptional superior premium luxurious laugh*. Thank you 14...I laughed
so hard that tears came to my eyes. (For me a rarity). I saw an exceptional superior premium luxury Trump necktie at Ross for $9.99. That made me giggle too.
Posted by: Sage | February 05, 2007 at 05:36 PM
cachet?
Posted by: | February 05, 2007 at 06:08 PM
Grrreat!! I love the superior expression. He looks much more constipated now than he did in that picture you created of him and his wife pitching that ad for their constipation cream, which obviously does nothing to relieve either of them. 14, you da best. Ever since someone mentioned somewhere that his mouth looks like an anus I just can't shake the feeling I'm looking at an a**hole with a cotton candy toupe wrapped around it. Damn but that his mouth doesn't look like an anus, especially when he moves it and stuff..(comes out)
Posted by: deanna | February 05, 2007 at 06:14 PM
14, please go to perez hilton to see the latest on Jessica Simpson's big ass mouth. I have never met anyone who could open their mouth this wide. She was probably able to get Nick Lachey's dick, balls, vans/glans deferus (??) prostate and intestines in that damn thing. I wanted you to get this ASAP so I Posted it here. Sorry.
Posted by: Demon Kitty | February 05, 2007 at 08:51 PM
Hey Deanna, I was the one who said his mouth looks like an anus. I am pretty sure I was. I have to take credit for this, because life is just hell you know? Oh fuck it! Aren't you just waiting for excreta to come out of his mouth when you look at it? The man really needs to trim his eyebrows, they make my stomach turn. I don't care how much money he has, how can that woman ride him?
Yetused, I had a quickie look at your blog. It seemed pretty interesting. I will have to go back.
Posted by: Demon Kitty | February 05, 2007 at 08:57 PM
donald trump shares one thing with paris hilton: the worst bone structure in the "celebrity" world. God they are two hideous human beings.
Trumn isn't banging anyone ... anybody that talks that much about screwing supermodels is flat-lining in the boudoir.
thank you, 14, for another great illustration. You are a hero of mine.
Posted by: Knox Bronson | February 05, 2007 at 11:16 PM
He kind of looks like a big wrinkly baby.
Posted by: Jenn F. | February 06, 2007 at 07:40 AM
those words will forever be burned into my mind... you're the best demon kitty. nothing like a talking anal sphincter singing a lullaby in one's dreams at night.
Posted by: deanna | February 06, 2007 at 04:02 PM
Lol his hair!! Btw.. didn't this used to be "Gallery of Absurd"?
Posted by: KFed | February 06, 2007 at 05:24 PM
Oh Jesus. Thanks, Deanna, for clarifying that image... the lullabye-singing sphincter. I'm afraid to go to bed now, lest the angry poop-chute start spitting out feces-speckled insults in my dreams.
And YOU Demon Kitty, putting that image of his skanky plastic wife riding him like the expensive hooker that she is. Gaaaah! Yucky!
Posted by: Jenn F. | February 06, 2007 at 07:36 PM
Are they sour to go along with his lousy attitude? How did this idiot become famous? Yes, I get the being rich part, but c'mon, there's plenty of folks with money who keep quiet. Not this jack-stick.
Love the hair. =)
Posted by: Chansmom | February 06, 2007 at 11:09 PM
Kipling West's phrase describing Trump, "Short-Fingered Vulgarian," gets excruciating embodiment here. This one hurts, it's so ugly/funny.
Your customarily lovely work brings home something I never noticed before: Donald Trump looks like Hiro from the HEROES TV series, chewed up and shit out.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | February 06, 2007 at 11:18 PM
ahahaha I think Donald would totally market these. He's probably stealing your idea right now and building a Trump Factory two inches from your window. On Valentines, all his oppressed employees will pool their resources and buy a box to send his way.
And you guys are right, his mouth does look like an anus. Ew.
Posted by: javelin | February 07, 2007 at 03:31 PM
Hi, it's Susan from L.A.
Nice Conversation Hearts! I did some too for the elderly, they're on my new MySpace.
Come visit me!
http://www.myspace.com/laddersandalcohol
Posted by: Susan (Fluff) | February 08, 2007 at 09:24 AM