Bald Britney!

I saw the bald Britney Spears photos this morning and for some reason, Mr. Clean came to mind. Yes, I could have named the product Ms. Dirty, but these days little Ms. Britney is more crazy than filthy. Just take a look at some of these recent headlines. Is the drunken tattooed sailor look the next hot fashion trend for hard-partying Hollywood starlets? If so, I'm all for it.

UPDATE: Many artists and tricksters have been inspired by Britney's Head Shaving Incident. Here's a song, a cookie, a tool for enlightenment, and a selection of wigs.

Comments

[WTF]

I agree more crazy by the day.

[gossipaddicted]

ahahhahaa OMG very good job...Poor her babies!
Isabella

[Wendy Wayrad]

You work fast! Nothing short of BOSS (as per usual).

[trick please]

This is the funniest ish I have ever seen. You almost made me choke on my drink.Yes it looks like Britney is batshit crazy.

Excellent work

[Lucy]

Well played. Well played, indeed.

[midevil]

Oh, I guess JT must have turned her down, eh?

[Mel]

She just ain't right. She kinda looks like the Graf Orlok character from Nosferatu. The ears. The crazy eyes. Creepy.

[Marie]

Of course the Cheetos! LOL! ;D

[brit]

i think she kinda looks like sloth from the goonies..

[Sarah]

I hope everyone here and every where else who is poking fun, and getting joy out of someone who is obviously now mentally ill, and distraught can just die a horrible death. This is not at all a good time to laughing at this woman. You people have no lives, and you are all very sad. You have no heart whatsoever.

[mm]

Somehow, in the context of Anna Nicole’s death, Britney’s antics cease to be so damn hilarious. Yes why don’t we gawk at her plight with morbid fascination, let’s relish in her misfortune, after all she deserves it right? She’s too rich, too famous, and we love to watch those people go down in flames, makes the average existence seem justified. Maybe next we’d like to see her wheeled out on a stretcher out of some random hotel room, it would all be so deliciously tragic – the two babies left with K-Fed, another parade of circus freaks collecting their checks from Entertainment Tonight. By the way, I’ve boycotted that fucking show since their drugged up Anna Nicole interviews, it was like watching a train wreck, disgusting and almost sacrilegious to see a tormented soul be exploited for all the trash addicts to gobble up with their mouths hanging open.

It’s obvious Britney is on the edge of a meltdown. It’s sad people. Not funny, sad. She’s got two young children who are most likely being raised by nannies, a failed marriage, a booze problem, and she’s far too young for the package. Let’s hope this story will end with redemption and not an autopsy, and if you all think it’s just way too cheesy and naïve to send her some good wishes, at least don’t cheer her on her way to rock bottom.

[RD]

I think it's more insensitive that someone so butthurt about a woman who has made so many recent bad decisions has to wish several people not directly related to Britney's life a "horrible death." Lighten up, it's just gossip! I'm just impressed that this was just made and posted on Galley of the Absurd so quickly. Here's to another winner, 14!

[gilmore]

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!! That is so god damn funny! I love it! As always, well done.

[Mel]

I may not have a heart, but at least I have pretty hair.

[to sarah]

Sarah, welcome to the blogosphere. where have you been?

[deanna]

hey sarah,
duh, this is galleryoftheheartless.net. what did you expect? sympathy? go buck a fuffalo.
bald head, tatoos and a confederate flag tinted to the back of her landrover.... i suppose we'll get to meet her pitbulls in a day or two when she ties them up to the palm trees outside of her sprawling mcmansion somewhere in beverlyhills as she loads her shotguns and hangs those in the rear windshield of her mercedes while driving with her kid in her lap and draggin on a menthol cigarette.
hey sara, just so you know one of the prerequisites of this site is that in order to blog you must have no life, but have the uncanning ability to laugh at the mentallly ill who are also incredibly distraught. now, between us, i work with the mentally ill and again between us, to laugh directly in the face of a disturbed individual would not be therapeutic. for that reason, i always advise grad students to do it in the breakroom.
anyhow, so far as the terrible death, well in this country the odds of that is somewhat miniscule, with our healthcare and stuff, but that should not deter you from still hoping for the worst. haven't you ever heard don henley's song dirty laundry? you know the part "kick em when they're up kick em when there down?"
that comment you posted sounded somewhat immature so i suppose you are somewhat young without enough years under yer training bra just yet to get the gist of this here artsy fartsy stuff. anyhow just wait till demonkitty, jenn f, or kai(the token jewish commenter) sees your comment. you'll be so sorry.

[heather]

I would call her Ms. UnClean, in reference to all the drugs she's clearly on. Her new tattoos were a pair of lips and a cross.

[Melanie]

That chick is just freaking nuts. And I agree, Mr. Clean 100% - any bald person reminds me of Mr. Clean.

[LadyK]

Sarah, there are a lot of people in this world that deserve your compassion over Britney Spears.
This is a woman who is a multimillionaire and who has the resources to get help if she wanted to. She is not terminally ill, facing the death of a family member, or any of the other horrible things that can happen in the world that I honestly would never wish upon her. She just got divorced. It’s not fun but it happens. (Look at Reese Witherspoon for an example on to deal with a divorce and young children and not look like a complete insane party girl.)
You on the other hand are wish a horrible death upon thousands of people who you have never meet because, what, they don’t share your point of view. I am sorry dear, but I think you are the one that sounds a bit mentally ill. I hope you feel better soon.
PS Great work 14 like always!!

[Est Girl]

Dear Sarah:

I'm ok with that. And thanks for sharing!

[pun_inpendid]

I don't want to start a fight and I believe everyone has a right to state their feelings and opinions ... this includes Sarah : ) I also have to say that I do think Britney is in real trouble, feel she needs serious help and I hope she gets it, and all that. A site that posts satires is however, for poking fun. Anyone who visits this page knows that people's foibles and missteps are going to be displayed and played up with humor. To wish anyone who finds something funny or entertaining on these pages a horrible death is, imho, a very negative thing. To try to make a positive point about not kicking someone when they are down and then end it with that, to me somewhat negates your intended message. I again respect your feelings and opinions, Sarah, and I will say there are some works of art and/or views that I don't always agree with completely either and it is a free country, but I also feel free to point out that all sites that cater to gossip and satire about celebs do so to cater to our prurient interest, to entertain, and some to poke fun - clearly stated at top of page. There are fan sites and message boards that tout themselves as major support sites. These celebs also put themselves in the public eye as much as pap follows them. Britney had her head shaved in public with a tv crew present that she knew about. She knew it was going to be huge attention getter and she did not decide to shave her head at home as she could have. She makes her problems very public in the way she choses to handle, and to not handle them. I hope I haven't offended you with my post. Were I someone to get offended by public postings, I might be offended by you wishing us a collective horrible death. But I came here to get away from the stress in my life and be entertained and enlightened.

[Holly]

Fan freakin tastic!

[Long Island Irish]

This art is GREAT 14 but the whole Britney saga isn't funny anymore because of the kids. If she was just hurting herself that would be fine but the fact that she has two babies takes the humor out of this situation. Britney in her own right is also a victim--where is her mother? Why is no one trying to help her? She seems mentally ill at this point and it is sad, for the children if nothing else.

However, one thing I will say and mean whole heartedly is that I hope Kevin gets the kids. At this point it seems that he's the better one for them.

Now with all that off my chest I loved this post 14. How did you create this so quickly?

[pun_inpendid]

Hey all - just saw the photos of Britney shaving her head herself at Esther's Salon. They are on ABC's news site and she is smiling in one, waving at the camera in another ... so I think it is fair to say that she at least appeared to be in control of herself and her situation when she did this and sure as heck wanted attention for it - and we all know good attention and bad attention usually follow any radical change. In any case, I do still believe she has some big problems and not suggesting this isn't a result, but definitely fair to poke fun if she is waving at the camera as she is shaving her own head and there is no gun in site. There are journalistic laws that say people who place themself in the public eye willingly are subject to more public scrutiny, press, less privacy, etc. There are degrees listed depending on whether person choses to be in public eye, such as people who seek fame and celebrity status, vs. someone who becomes a celeb by accident due to a tragedy or gets thrust into public eye unwillingly. Persons who are in politics and other public jobs with much exposure fall in the middle. Was in a Journalistic Ethics course I took. I also still maintain that everyone has right to their own opinion. If the public didn't take such a rabid interest in celebrities - good and bad - they wouldn't be celebs. Wouldn't exist and they know this going in. Part of price they pay for what they gain. I still am sorry about ANS and especially, her son and daughter. I believe they paid a huge price (the kids) and also feel a great deal for B.S.'s babies and for the fact that no one seems to have taught her much or helped her enough. I promise, no more comments from me - but even I was flabbergasted to see her smiling while she did it and waving when I too thought she must have been distraught and zonked on Nyquil (stain on her purse). Jessica

[midevil]

Parody is a way of dealing with life. Artists, by the by, express what they see in the world. The dialogue here is valid as a way of dealing with our culture (whatever that may be). It's like George Clooney said, people are going to talk shit about you--it's called freedom of speech. So you go ahead, Sarah, and tell me you wish me dead, you are free to say that--but be thankful that you have this public space to say it in. Is the girl mentally ill? Who are you, Sarah, to make that judgement? Is her camp saying she's waxed as a marketing ploy, or is it real? We're talking Tinsel Town. You have about as much insight to it as the rest of us. What does the fact that she shaved her head say about the rest of us? Maybe that's what we're trying to figure out. Or maybe, we're just having fun because it's entertainment.