Back By Popular Demand: Jeff Polage, Unemployed Actor
Jeff Polage and I have once again locked ourselves in a room with a stack of Star magazines and a camera. I'm happy to report that Jeff is no longer unemployed! He now works as a background actor on several television shows, including Las Vegas on NBC. Keep an eye out for him. I painted this portrait of Jeff in exchange for his enthusiastic willingness to put wet spaghetti on his head all for the sake of art. Medium: pastel on paper.
Oh, awesome! I was so hoping there'd be more of him. Congrats on the employment!
However... Danny Devito scares me. I think it's like I've put a face to the troll that I used to belive lived under my bed when I was 5.
Posted by: Diana | February 28, 2007 at 03:18 PM
Amazingly funny. I laughed out loud. Tab came out of my nose. Yes, I drink Tab.
Jeff, you deserve your own show. F&#k the backgrounds! Maybe you can do your own kids show a la Pee Wee's Playhouse.
You are going to be a huge success. Or living under the freeway. I'll ask the Magic Eight Ball.
xoxo
Posted by: fanny pack | February 28, 2007 at 03:30 PM
fine job, sir, on getting mr. devito's besotted single crossed eye. fourteen's gorgeous portrait was well-earned.
Posted by: randall | February 28, 2007 at 03:45 PM
I want to see the pictures with the plucked chicken. You know the ones.
Posted by: Cyclops Kitten Natividad | February 28, 2007 at 04:31 PM
Jeff is more entertaining than Las Vegas. 14, I love you love you.
Posted by: dan the man | February 28, 2007 at 06:09 PM
Yay! Jeff is back! I really hate to complain, but it's just been FAR too long since we've seen him. The first time I saw Jeff imitating Anna Nicole, (not trying to be insensitive in regards to the timing here, just being honest), I laughed so hard there were tears running down my face. It just cracked me up. He's fucking hilarious.
I agree with FannyPack, he deserves his own show. We do have to make sure he doesn't end up under the freeway in a cardboard box. How can we start a Jeff Polage fan club? How can we get this guy to start raking in the big bucks like the sphincters that he imitates? Spaghetti on the head. I love it.
Posted by: Jenn F. | February 28, 2007 at 08:14 PM
I have come to a decision:
The less gray matter you have between your ears, the wider you can open your mouth.
Posted by: Demon Kitty | February 28, 2007 at 08:38 PM
How wickedly clever of you to make the replica of her hair "al dente" - to the teeth : ) Or I should say, the replica of her extensions. Amazing how her gaping maw never fails to generate a guffaw. Jeff is a stitch. Glad he too is getting the recognition he deserves. Love the Polange meets Curious George lighting up meets the Grand Poobah crossed with an old movie theater usher look. I think I am too tired to get some of the symbolism or reference on the painting, but still think it is nifty and can clearly see his talent for mimicry in all representations.
Posted by: pun_inpendid | March 01, 2007 at 12:34 AM
Congrats on the job!
Posted by: midevil | March 01, 2007 at 07:22 AM
First, good for Jeff!!!!!!!!!! He's too cute, and I'm sure he's very talented on screen.
I think my favorite impersonation of his is Danny Devito. Good likeness. =)
Posted by: Chansmom | March 01, 2007 at 10:10 AM
More Jeff, please! I can't tell you how many times I looked at the last bunch and laughed my ass off.
Posted by: jules | March 01, 2007 at 10:22 AM
You and Jeff just made my day, 14.
Posted by: Candice | March 01, 2007 at 12:14 PM
yeah, more jeff, more jeff, more jeff, more JEFF!!!!!!! He is soooo funny...
there needs to be whole bunch of them to get the full effect , like last time. Don't you love how demanding an audience we've become, 14? MORE, MORE. Do Anna Nicole, Do this do that. Honey, we have to be grateful for what you DO give.
But can we please have some more????
Posted by: andrea | March 01, 2007 at 12:31 PM
Thanks! I needed a laugh too! Your last few posts have been rather serious..You two are both awesome, and that you are friends with each other....
-An enigmatic Jewish commenter
(Fanny Pack- Tab? That stuff tastes like a watermelon Jolly Rancher to me.... and I could only eat the lemon one, the rest I didn't like... ah well... to each his/her own... um... energy drink? Yeah.)
Posted by: It's a mystery | March 01, 2007 at 12:36 PM
it's crazy how much jeff actually looks like j.simp in that photo. well done, both of you.
Posted by: angela | March 01, 2007 at 04:02 PM
Jeff Polage for President!
Makes me laugh so hard I need to wear Depends :)
Posted by: Jas | March 01, 2007 at 04:24 PM
dumb
Posted by: hmmmm | March 01, 2007 at 07:58 PM
You and Jeff owe me a new keyboard!
Posted by: Morrigan | March 01, 2007 at 10:50 PM
I thought there must've been some photo morphing in that Danny DeVito impersonation, he's THAT good.
Thank you for a thoroughly enjoyable site and as someone else here said:
MORE JEFF, PLEASE!
Posted by: Mary | March 02, 2007 at 05:55 AM
that is the funniest damn picture I've seen of a person with so much of the oral mucosa exposed at one time. damn it damn it I loves it!!
Posted by: deanna | March 02, 2007 at 08:42 AM
Dammit Jeff you're the best character actor I've seen in a looooooooooooong time! And it's just pictures...not discounting it, just pointing out that based on the pics alone you deserve an oscar.
BORAT WHO??
Posted by: Amber | March 02, 2007 at 03:50 PM
Well, I don't know why people are insisting on seeing more of "Jeff." Yeah, couple of them were funny, but not anymore...
Posted by: Fingerella | March 02, 2007 at 04:59 PM
The photoshopped images are so funny. He needs his own show...... deifnitely!
The pastel drawing you did is absolutely beautiful.
Posted by: gilmore | March 03, 2007 at 12:03 AM
Wow, that guy DOES NOT need to quit his day job at Subway...
Bob Hasko
www.TeesMyBody.com T-Shirts
Posted by: TeesMyBody.com T-Shirts | March 04, 2007 at 04:36 PM
I have been WAITING for Jeff to come back. Got any more pics of him side by side with celebs? I love them! Can't wait to see more!
This guy's got this market cornered!
Posted by: Linda | March 04, 2007 at 09:38 PM
I don't know how but he looks more like Danny DeVito than Danny does
Posted by: rdiggity1 | March 05, 2007 at 09:34 AM
OMG! Friken makes us laugh our asses off!
Posted by: Bina | March 08, 2007 at 02:32 PM
awesome and hilarious! more please??
Posted by: nine | March 08, 2007 at 10:52 PM
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said:—Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
Posted by: Use Once & Destroy | March 10, 2007 at 09:33 PM
Rockin' the hair spaghetti like a runway pro, Mr. Polage.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | March 20, 2007 at 11:26 PM
ohthankGod..Jeff is back!!
Such talent. I now have a reason to watch Las Vegas...or at least Tivo and scan for him.
His Jessica is so life like. Is he mistaken for her often?
Posted by: It Must Be Ken | April 05, 2007 at 11:27 AM
MORE more more more Jeff, please!
Posted by: wundersmack | April 09, 2007 at 01:40 PM
Okay, now I'm in love with Jeff Polage. May I please have him?
Posted by: Nate in SF | July 17, 2007 at 03:18 PM
Great work man...
Posted by: tapety | November 26, 2007 at 06:58 PM
Jeff my God I am laughing my head off surprised didn't know you had something out there till I put out there on the google search engine 'unemployed actor', thinking I would find a picture of myself written up by the industry for not being an employable talent, and there I find you doing face impersonations with the likes of Danny DeVito/George Clooney, and one of my honey loves Jessica Simpson!
Posted by: Tom | July 15, 2008 at 01:21 PM