Rachael Ray: Perky Demented Food Chipmunk

While shopping a few weeks ago I noticed Rachael Ray's perpetually perky face plastered all over the place. There she was on magazine covers, books, packages of culinary knives, and most troubling of all, a box of Ritz Crackers. That night, after my Rachael Ray overload, I went online to try and understand how/why she had become so frighteningly ubiquitous. When I came across her recipes for Hotdog Salad and Sangria on a Stick while perusing her website, my fear only intensified. Later that night, I awoke with a terrible jolt after having a nightmare about a giant evil-grinned Rachael Ray chipmunk trying to force me to taste her latest 30-minute recipe "Velveeta Cheese Pie with Triscuit Cracker Crust". YUM-O!

Whether you're a fan of Rachael Ray or not, she's become a trusted brand of numbing mass consumption and you're just going to have to get used to her happy little chipmunk face staring back at you from nearly every product under the sun. Medium: Ink with digital color.

UPDATE! Rachael Ray's new name is Racial Ray. Acording to TMZ, she drank too much wine at dinner and started spewing hateful remarks. The chipmunk is rabid.

Comments

[theresa]

Great job... I thought she was everywhere too... where did she come from?
theresa

[Cyclops Kitten Natividad]

I cannot bear her voice. It's so scraggy and scratchy; sure, she's cute in that Middle America Katy Couric/Kathie Lee Gifford utterly average way, and if I mute her I can watch her...but the Voice, people. Am I the only one whose ears bleed at the sound of the Voice?

[Lindsey]

She once had a recipe for Hot Dog Nachos on her show. That's horrible. Hot Dog Nachos! It sounds like a joke.

This Thanksgiving I brought a box of Ritz crackers for a cheese ball I made. Her face was plastered all over the box and it really made me feel ashamed.

[Liz]

She's scary, alright. Why is she so popular?

I thought for sure you were going to pounce on the pics of Orlando Bloom peeing on the rocks in Hawaii. Hee-hee.

[SlumNobility]

Oh Thank you! Her 'smile' has gone beyond perky to what I can only describe as maniacal. If you've ever heard her talk on her show (the food network one) you get the impression she's like a wind-up toy with about as much of a penetrating intellect. NOW PLEASE, PLEASE DO OPRAH!!

[Demon Kitty]

Oh my Gawd 14, you nailed it!!!!!!!!!!! She looks EXACTLY like that. Her shit eating, cheerleader, sorority girl, psychotic, perky ass grin! I bought a box of wheat thins and she was on there. I even made her spinach dip recipe. I also wondered who the hell she was and what was she doing all over the place? She has got to be one of the most annoying people. Hot Dog salad? Dear God! What will she think of next, Spam stew! There is an "i Hate Rachael Ray" blog where they compare her mouth to the joker's.

Demon Kitty

[andrea]

Yeah, DO OPRAH. And, thanks, that rabid chipmunk R.R. was makin me bug OUT,and I didn't even fully realize it til I saw this!! she is so annoying in her down-home, good-girl, not-too-sexual-or-threatening, just middle-America way, she really IRRITATES me...and that LOUD-MOUTH way she has of talking, so as to seem....what? friendly? I don't know, I just get the MAJOR HEAVIE-JEEBIES WHENEVER I SEE HER ON TV! Which proves, again, that you, are a genius. You pick up on exactly the fame virus off-shoot side effects like her lame ass. If she was on a box of crackers I wanted, I'd consider getting the store brand... Love you!

[rerun]

Sorry, this is a total miss for me. If I didn't see her name, I couldn't have called her out. Having said that, her 30 minute meal shows usually take me 2 hours to make. She makes me feel shame

[monica corona]

sangria on a stick- NO WAY!

[Tucker]

She reminds me of The Joker from Batman and Robin. She has got to go!!!!!!!!!!

[Penny Woods]

This photo made my night. You don't know how nauseous I felt when I flipped through one of her cookbooks...and most of what she cooks I wouldn't be able to eat because I'm a vegetarian.

[theidlereceptionist]

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

OMG priceless maniacal chipmunk smile....

[Morrigan]

Hot dog nachos?! Sangria on a stick?!

Such an abomination must be destroyed. Never really heard anything about her until I found her picture on a box of crackers I picked up to go with some cheese I bought. I thought she looked possessed.

Anyone who comes up with recipes involving hot dogs should be stuck in the stocks and forced to eat hot dogs for a week. (Sorry, I have a bizzare thing about hot dogs - They're disgusting to me)

[Melanie]

I love Rachael Ray - not like obsessively or anything, but I think she's cute and fun. Though, yeah, I can only take the perky in small doses. I wish I was that happy all the time, though! The squirrel idea works for me, but I don't quite see her in the first picture, more in the second bubbly one...

[PschoChef]

Women in middle America are much better looking than that coked-out hag. She's a product of the northeast BTW.

[Coffeegod]

If I hear 'EVOO...that's extra virgin olive oil' one more time I might just climb to the top of a tall building and shoot until I run out of ammo. If you are going to use a stupid abbreviation then DON'T explain it every time you use it!

Sorry, I ranted. I really can't stand this hyper-perky idiot.

[dracsbabe]

This had me laughing so hard I was crying. Thanks for doing this I thought I was the only one who thought she was evil. :)

[salmonella]

Is she the new Katie Couric?

[Demon Kitty]

I can't help it, I am back. I am still shocked ny the "Hot Dog Salad." Who could conceive of something so vile? Rachael Ray is the Paris Hilton/Britney Spears of the food network. I am staring at her chipmunk face on a box of wheat thins now. It makes me want to take an M16 and unload it. The next time I visit my brother in Alabama, I might take this picture of her and stick it to the target that we use at the shooting range there. I wonder if she has created some sort of dish with Vienna Sausage?

So Much Love,
Demon Kitty

[deanna]

Look demon kitty,
folks in the panhandle get by on vienna sausages during hurricanes... so BACKOFF!!(Vienna omlette cooked on a gas grill, vienna sausages and crackers, grilled vienna sausages, vienna sausages on a stick, vienna sausage salsa, vienna sausage and spaghetti cooked on an outdoor grill, and vienna sausage in a blanket also cooked on an outdoor grill...so take that to your gun range, turn it side ways and shove it! we can get creative with those sausages now) You know there's nothing but love for the kitty kat.

I really did like rachael until the Food Network really started to super pimp her. In case you didn't know, if you think it's hard for a pimp, I'm here to tell you folks it's even harder for a hoe. (Rachael
)
I love the crazed, amazed, glazed over look. However, I really love the fact 14 dolled her up in a Paula Dean apron getup displaying a piece of one of the most processed food items with the highest amount of fat content that could jack a diet freak up, but none-the-less industrially prepared with love.

I thought the squirrel was appropriate because when she smiles you wonder what she's got stuck up in those perky pink cheeks besides a paycheck and the stuff working girls normally keep in a bra or a purse....you know like Hankies and stuff.
DeAnna

[Kai]

I don't know why, but this frightens me more than the David Gest image. Especially the frothing at the mouth one. You should have a mouth competition between Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz, and Racheal Ray. I'm sure there's others you could include- perhaps Jessica Simpson- to showcase weird smiles. If you won't do it, I'll do it, but I'm busy with another project now. Keep, um, frightening me!

Shalom,
Kai
(Your token Jewish commenter)

[ccc]

Wow, what can I say that hasn't already been said?
Yes, She really is that annoying. The chipmunk comparison is spot on...and I love your usage of digital color too.
Oprah needs to be lampooned. 14, WE SPEAK YOUR NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Midwesterner in NYC]

I agree with Theresa, its all about the voice!!!!

[Elizebeth]

This is too funny since my husband walked down the cracker aisle during the Holidays and said "Who is this and why is she on every box?"

I cannot stand Rachel Ray, her voice, her fake personality and her horrible disgusting food she makes on one of her 20 shows. I thought I was the only one but Im comforted to know I'm not alone.

I dont understand how she got a job with that voice and why everyone thinks that we want to see her 24/7 on every network.

Now the food network is doing a clip show of one of her traveling shows so now she has essentially another new show that can annoy people.

Thanks 14.

[stephanie green]

Word on the media street (and from on-set) is that she's a raging alcoholic. Apparently, in person you can spot the broken capillaries on her nose from yards away. I wonder how Oprah would feel about THAT?