How To Tell The Davis Brothers Apart

One of my very favorite sources of celebrity gossip is TMZ. Not only are they skilled at obtaining the latest photos, news and video of celebrity fluff, they also come up with silly, yet fitting nicknames for many of the victims they feature. If it wasn't for TMZ, many of us would be blissfully unaware of the existence of Hollywood's most despised billionheir brothers Brandon Greasy Bear and Jason Gummi Bear Davis. Yes, it's hard to tell the difference between these two "bears", especially since Brandon is starting to look like he could fit into Jason's sizeable trousers. I'm not proud of the fact I wasted my precious time on these two spoiled d-list brats...but somehow, crafty TMZ was able to squeeze enough oil sick entertainment value out of them for me to become momentarily inspired. Medium: photo collage, digital paint. Photos borrowed from Getty and TMZ.

Comments

[seema]

lol this is hilarious

[Kai]

Are you having a bad day? Is this proof of your lack of misogyny? Thanks for making me feel twice today! Thankfully I haven't eaten in a while, so I can't get sick. Today is confusingly famous men who are enough to make anyone lose thier appetite... Thank you, 14.

Shalom,
Kai

If I may add something for myself (sorry!) I was inspired by 14 and want to make an art piece of the 6 most absurd people of 2006. So far I have for certain Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, and Paris Hilton (imagine if I were trapped in a room with them....). I am considering Nichole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Brandon Davis, Britney Spears, and Tara Reid. I am sure I am forgetting others, which is why I'd like your help! My email is dragon.flies@hotmail.com, if you wouldn't mind sending your opinion.... Sorry to do this on your page, 14, but it's inspired by you! Thank you very much!

[Nostrils of Satan]

Girl, I want some of what YOU'RE having. Obviously the time off did you good...this is scary brilliant!

[Chansmom]

You mean there's two of them?! OMG!

[tala]

its funny... i was just thinking on the bus this morning how i wished 14 would make something of the photos of "brandon davis hacking up a lung while baking like a holiday ham at the beach in Hawaii"

[Viper Tetsu]

Jesus on a surfboard in a burlap sack, you've hit the ground running since your return! It's like a big ol' celeb buffet.

God, this makes me happy. Brandon's sniveling quivering porcine puss almost (ALMOST) renders any illustrated parody obsolete.

I want a Greasy Bear Bobble-Head doll more than I want world peace.

[Mitiori]

I had no idea there were two of them. Gummi Bear should date Blohan just for my amusement.

[Matt]

I was unaware of the greasy one before his slam of Lindsay Lohan last year -- trashing her for actually earning her $6 million as a working actress instead of leeching it off of her family -- but this bloated creep trying to whine his way into a nightclub is the limit. Looks and sounds like John Belushi's long-lost love chile with Rosie O'Donnell, except not as funny as one would expect. Thank you for keeping us all on our new year diets, 14! ;)

[fervid]

Oh, so so so wonderful. You picked the perfect expressions to use as well.

[Demon Kitty]

Here I am, sitting at my computer, sick as a dog, coughing my lungs up and viola - some good cheer. Thanks 14! What would I do without you? You give me hope in this cruel, nonsensical world, you give me hope!

These two are disgusting. Can you imagine what a huge prick Brandon Davis will become as he ages? How much of a dick can one become? I can only imagine he will become worse with age. How could Misha Barton fuck this greasy, fat, lug of a human being? These two remind me so much of the people I went to high-school with.

So Much Love,
Demon Kitty

[Karen]

AUGhaguhag, they are gross.

Good Job. Hahahaha.

[Bella]

Nasty, I think since their fortune is in oil, they bathe in it, eat it, drink it, LIVE IN THE OIL.

Sick, thanks for helping me puke up my lunch, much appreciated! =3

Who else finds that Brandon's eyebrows are too well groomed? Fucking him must be like riding a Slip-n-Slide, only it makes you want to die. Don't need any lube with this one! ;]

[pun_inpendid]

Looks like neither of these guys wants for the bare necessities. Or anything else. Bloated in person as well as with self importance. Another great satire, though will not be able to look the gummy bears in the face at the movies tonight without seeing this/them in my head. May just put this one on my refrigerator as incentive to stay on my diet and make sure never to get a big head - figuratively or literally. Have heard neither is very nice, which really isn't very nice. Hope you had a lovely vacation with friends and family and took some time for yourself, Miss 14! Good to have you back. Jessica in Atlanta P.S. I do think oil is a very apropos medium for their "dis"likeness.

[distressedbluejeans]

Ewww....thats too accurate!

I was eating lunch in Beverly Hills one day when who should walk through the doors but none other than red faced Jason Davis. He sat one table away from me so I was able to discreetly clock the famous Davis.

His shirt was straining at the buttons, exposing not only his upper chest, complete with gold chain, but his rotund belly! ((GAG)) As if that wasnt bad enough,I dont think he stopped sweating from the moment he sat down. His black hair was going in all directions and he appeared to be physically exerted although he was just ordering lunch at a very nice restaurant.

Then he whipped out- sorry,I dont think he moved fast enough for it to be considered a whip- he pulled out a pack of cigs and lit up. I could see beads of sweat on his upper lip. The Davis brothers, they sweat oil.

I believe he was wearing drawstring pants- perfect for allowing a little extra room after a double helping of steak tartare.

xo
Cindy

[azuka]

Ewwww... they are gross... But Brandon is specially greasy...I hate him. Asquerosos!

Saluditos 14! =D

[LSP12]

This is so disgusting! It makes me want to puke every time I look...and yet, I can't stop looking! Please, make it stop!!!!

[phlegmfatale]

What a slimy genepool these repugnant creatures must have crawled out of.

[poe]

I don't really think 'greasy bear' defines him. I have christened him 'sweaty buffalo' since the very day I knew there was a guy named Brandon Davis. I wish my namesake for the dick would have caught wind.

[cupcakegirl]

14,

you are so lucky to be given such a talent. you never cease to amaze me. The gummi bear is so funny, I laugh everytime I see it.

[jerkygirl]

You'd think with all that $$$ they could buy a bar of Irish Spring and some Selsun Blue--how can they not know how icky they are??? Don't they have "people"? Makes you wonder if they would try harder if their daddy was Joe Bus Driver instead of some billionaire oilman--ugly and sloppy looking as they are, they seem to have no trouble pulling chicks!!! AAARGH my stomach. :)

[Javelin]

greasy bear looks like an aging, depressed, pill-popping drag queen with princess leia buns and a gaudy fur trench who just learned that his vegas show has been canceled.

Ha ha. I love it. Gummi Bear and Greasy Bear. Keep up the good work with the drawings!!!

[monica corona]

they are so disgusting... this is perfect :)

[Victoria]

Telling these guys to haul ass....would take SEVERAL trips.

[moonmaid]

At least gummibear looks cheerful. Greasybear seems destined for an Oxycontin OD by age 35.

[victoria]

They are the most fat disgusting spoiled rich pigs I think I've ever seen. No mount of millions or billions could ever fix their ugly bloated face and bodies? EWWWW Do the world a favor and stop posting their putrid over indulged faces