Hollywood's Hottest Accessory?

A few months ago Cracked magazine asked me to create two illustrations to accompany a controversial article about the recent trend of celebrity overseas adoption. The illustrations can be found in the Jan/Feb 2007 issue, available at newsstands now. I've only briefly followed the Madonna adoption story so I don't know what all the brouhaha is about, but I do remember reading that Sharon Osbourne compared Madge's adoption to "getting a Louis Vuitton handbag." Angelina Jolie isn't too pleased about Madonna's "illegal" adoption either. Oprah said it was okay though. Medium: Ink on paper, digital color.

This Madonna and Child illustration leads the article. Medium: Acrylic on board.

Find this magazine.

Comments

[Demon Kitty]

OOOOOO 14!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! People are gonna scream "RACIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear God that is so funny! That is sooooo funny!!!

I fucking love Sharon Osbourne! I fucking love that woman!

I love you!!!!!!!! You are a genius! I am sick and tired of these celebrities and their .... oh never mind.

I can't wait to read the comments from all the sanctimonious and politically correct fucks!!!!!!! Do you see that picture of brandon Davis pretending to try and suck his own tit in the spirit of Hustler and Penthouse?

So Much love,
Demon Kitty

[Keisha]

Anytime a white person draws a black person they are racist. White people shouldn't be alowed to draw African Americans because its hateful and demeaning. Black people can draw white people though because we've earned the right.

[14]

Keisha:

You're kidding, right? Please tell me you're kidding.

00OOO0oooo...
14

[buzzgirl]

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!

Holy crap, that's funny. I'm black, I should know.

[Bo$$]

funny...Celebrities are clueless to the "real" world.

[Candice]

oh.my.god.

you're my absolute favorite.

[Mocha Mama]

Sharon Osborne just about hit the nail on the head. I love to pick up shiny objects on vacation too. Love the Banda-handbag.

I have three adorable chocolate babies who could use a rich white sugar mama or two.

And, come on Keisha, lighten up or at least grow up. Seriously, the crap I see on BET, which we are creating ourselves, is much more offensive than any drawings done by white folks.

Air Kisses,
Mocha Mama

[Davehater]

Madonna, who has an adopted accessory named Dave, has never looked that good in her life. Other than that, spot on. The kid is adorable; that's probably why these white celebs adopt the little dark ones, because they ARE cuter than the pale blotchy eyebrowless horrors white people produce "the natural way".

LOVE Madonna's age spots and knobby, arthritic finger joints.

[WTF]

Aww. David is sooo cute.

Sad but true. Celebs have cast aside dogs as acessories and taken up babies.

[ori]

that is sooooo funny : )
celebraties are so fucking pretentious when in reality they dont give a shit about foreign starving kids...this really captured what this adoption craze really means--a fashion accessory...a couple of years it was a small dog in your arm, now its a foreign baby..very very cool :-)

[shining]

So true…

Hollywood's latest trend, adopting exotic babies, also serves as celebrity's damage control. Your reputation got tarnished? Got caught with your pants down? No Problem! First, declare yourself humanitarian (thus distinguish yourself from the rest of the common herd). Second, adopt a couple of babies (exotic toddlers are the new black - no pun intended). Third, join the UN and get a priceless coverage for your career, oops, I mean, charity, work. Moreover, be sure to use any photo opportunity to pose in front of a refugee camp. Those pesky refugees might not fit to your coco chanel dress but, as your pr whore will tell you, this picture will make you a living saint.

Laughs aside, I find it disturbing and frankly quite sickening of the never-ending, shameless display of celebrities personal life in public. No wonder this behavior makes the viewer questioned their motives. Charity is done in secrecy. Helping people in life is done out of the good of your heart and not from an ulterior publicity stunts. Millions of people (most of them are working class with an average/low income) are happy to lend a hand and help out but, they do it quietly and incognito. Even world famous celebrities such as: Steven Spielberg. Meg Ryan and Hugh Jackson have adopted children but they don’t make a fuss about it or ask for media recognition.
There is a reason why charity is done in anonymity and it's because of respect and dignity to the receiving side. No one, no matter how poor his condition, wants to be needy and dependent on other peoples mercy, let alone having published his/hers condition. When a celebrity plays holier than though, and publish the cause's names, they are in fact disgracing them.

Another aspect of charity is that it begins at home. You don’t have to travel the globe when you’ve got poor abused and orphaned children (of all ages) right under your nose. Before you go and save the world you should first save your homeland. Let other countries sort out their mess. Your priorities and loyalty should be invested in the people of your country.

Finally, people should remember that not all the children waiting to be adopted are toddlers and there are teenagers at risk who also needs a safe home. While a 15 year old kid from a broken home might not fit inside your Louie vuitton bag, he/she will still need the same love and affection as a baby.
Rants off.

Great work as ever - 14. You have one of the most beautiful stimulating and interesting sites out there. Keep it going.

[Kai]

Hey Keisha, I am mocha (from being Indian and Japanese mixed with German), so what can I draw? Can I only draw mocha frappuccinos, which happen to be the same color I am? Mmm yummy. I suddenly have the urge to spend $4 on a specialty drink.

Okay, I'm done mocking. I really hope Paris Hilton doesn't adopt any children. I was adopted, and so I understand how helpful people that do it are, but I would not recommend Paris Hilton as a good adoptive parent! Yeesh! Love the smirk on Madonna's face. Honestly, the issue makes me a little sad, but I'll let people enjoy your work. The PC people can ruin it.

Shalom,
Kai
(Your non-white and adopted commenter who loves your work- take that PC types!)

[Jenn F.]

14 it's absolutely incredible how any art that you produce that has anything even remotely related to African-Americans draws up all this crap about racism. Jesus, isn't this 2007? Are people really that slow-witted?

Keisha, what a horribly racist comment you left. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Demon Kitty, that picture you mentioned made me want to heave! He's about as sexy as a big festering zit, of which I'm sure there are many all over his big flabby ass.

Nice work, 14, as always.

[andrea]

WOW!!
Paint a "DUBYA" on both ass-cheeks so when I bend over it says, "WOW"!! I couldn't believe my eyes!!!
You are so funny, brave, (to touch race at all-Brava!) and .....let's HOPE not clairvoyant. If Paris gets a baby, the celeb-baby-adopting trend will have to die. Like when Ed MacMahon started doing high-fives. I wonder what Christina Crawford makes of all this. She has the real scoop on what it's like to be adopted for publicity's sake. Love your work, thank you for the fun.

[Simona]

Um, yeah it's a little offensive. Sorry, but it is. but what are you gonna do? It's a free country and we have bigger fish to fry.

[Colleen]

Hi, I just wanted to let you know this post is hysterical, as are all of your postings! I don't know if you ever see, but sometimes I link your site in a media blog I write for - here's the link for the post I did today that features it: http://www.starkedny.com/archives/hollywood-artists-love-their-virgins. If you searched "Gallery of the Absurd" in our search bar, you'll find the other times I've linked to it since I've always given you full credit. You're a genius!

[Westenera]

It's politically incorrect but it's honestly correct. Is it impolite to draw a child who is a member of an ethnic minority in America as a handbag? Eh, probably. But 14 is doing it to make a very important point about people like Madonna, and I applaud him/her for it. He or she isn't really offending black/brown/African-American people, the offense is aimed at those who treat them like accessories.

And even politically correct isn't politically correct anymore.... I once knew someone who referred to a dark-skinned person she'd just met as African-American and that person got very offended because she was Jamaican, not African and therefore only accepted the term "black". Sometimes, you just can't win.

14, every illustration on your website is amazing. I've never commented before, but I'm a huge fan. Rock on.

[Zol]

Madonna is pathetic along with AJolie. If they really cared for adopting then they wouldnt travel with their camera men

[Zol]

Madonna is pathetic along with AJolie. If they really cared for adopting then they wouldnt travel with their camera men

[Chansmom]

Oh, puhleez. While I don't know 14 personally, I can bet that she's far from being racist. Did I laugh when I saw these pictures? Yes. And I laughed with a bit of shock, but I still found it funny, and very true. Celebrities get what they ask for. Adoption is a noble thing, but I believe the celebs depicted here, are a joke.

And if we really want to get nasty, Keisha, I'd be willing to take you on any day. I'm Native American, and I've heard stupid comments my whole life. Do they bother me? Nope. I consider the source. And that includes you too. If you don't like 14 and her work, don't come back.

Good job, 14.

[midevil]

I'm sorry I wasn't adopted into a rich setting. It's why I'm still working class. Maybe then I'd be able to fly around the world and adopt who I wanted when I wanted. I wonder how the millions of other starving babies feel. I'm so confused about this issue, I mean, seriously, at least they adopted one or two or maybe they shouldn't have? Racism? Artists are all about controversy. Keep it up, 14!

[SlumNobility]

DAYYYAMM, that is some hilarious sardonic humor! I'm glad you finally nailed this topic which has been irritating me since its outset.
But people, who are the real victims here? THE POOR KIDS! Seriously, who'd want a mom as f'd up as Jolie or Madonna? Who'd want a mom who's name you could google and find a picture of her vagina?? Good Gawd.

[gossipaddicted]

very nice...good job! i put this cutes images in my blog with your link.
i hope is ok.thanks...
bye bye
Isabella

[Texas]

I found my GOD and you are it! Oh my god!!! I worship your art work! You never fail us every single time!

Louis Vutton on a baby, that is it! That was what I thought when I noticed this trend. It probably cost to adopt a baby the same as a Louis Vutton bag. Sad huh?

[deanna]

can we just for a moment imagine keisha is being factitious? even if that may not be the case, we shouldn't always make the assumption that each individual has the mental capacity to reason, analyze and put each element of life(like interpretive art) within a surrounding into perspective. folks keep in mind we aren't all on the same stage of cognitive development(concrete operational vs formal operational ..piaget. with that being said, people who blog here with the understanding this is a mere interpretation of reality by an artist, would be considered formal operational bloggers. so hello to my formal operational congnitive developed friends.) anyhow i just love the versace shirt on the baby the madonna is holding, which she displays as a gesture of wealth-centered westernized maternal love. i love the fact that her halo of light is off-centered much like her smile, maybe reflective of her motive? I just wish that lv bag with the baby who has the expression like where the @#$$^&*(*)!$ are you taking my black a** now, would come in diffent races. i mean i would like to get like the somali fendi bag or better yet the north korean dooney bag with the baby who has the funny spikey hair. furthermore, i guess if paris got a chocolate mocha bag then the trend might end, well no britney and lindsey would have to get one too in order for that to be official but i suspect they may go for the faux exotic mixed raced baby spring 2007 bag with a matching wallet and change purse to compliment it. i honestly believe these adoptions take place during manic cycles and slows down as the depressive phase of bipolar disorder comes back round. who would have though faux adoption would be the new in thing? uhhm 14 i hope you got, or at least applied for, your license to paint black, dark and light brown people which includes yellow and mustard brown people too. I do believe the NAACP is currently accepting applications as well as the rainbow push coalition. As my daughter says, "mom you're peach" which i suspect would give me nonbinding authority to approve your application.. paint on sister girl.
DeAnna

[deanna]

damn it... please draw your attention to the RHINESTONED BUSTIER underneath the HOLY robe madonna uses to cover herself, better yet, i love how the baby is posing for the picture, and how the flash of the bulb reflects off baby super dave's face, in what is supposed to be a very nonplanned moment of cathedral/cathartic solitude. i wonder if madonna's obvious black roots that are screaming to be colored, is her way of displaying without saying.. " see see i do have something in common with this blackish abducted/adopted child." it seems everything about what is and what is supposed to be is at odds. just my thoughts.

[parvenu]

Oh, SNAP. That is too precise and painfully true.

[Spam Gardenia]

Haven't we seen this "rich white people adopting poor black kids" thing already? It was called "Diff'rent Strokes", and then it was called "Webster".

[eighty]

not funny, but very very true. africa is quite trendy right now. c'mon, project red the "i am african" bull... it's all crap.

this is not racist. racially aware, yes. but what's wrong with that?

http://fashioncult.blogspot.com/2006/11/ads-eds-i-am-african.html

http://fashioncult.blogspot.com/2006/10/inspired.html

[Demon Kitty]

Deana,

you almost made me pee in my pants, I was laughing so hard after reading your comment!!

Demon Kitty

[Kai]

Hello, just letting people know I posted a link to this entry in my blog and wrote a (perhaps overly passionate) response to the issue here. The url of my entry in case you're interested is http://joosunlimited.blogspot.com/2007/01/accessorize-with-children.html Thanks!

[mdk]

Shining hit it right on the nail and expertly constructed a valid point... and 14 illustrated magnificently. I concor that most of these celebrities are NOT doing it for the good of the child, but doing it for their image. Example: Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt for that infamous W shoot. Personally, I don't know why Madonna needed to adopt, but it seems it just a trend, IMO.

Another point I would like to make is race has nothing to do with it. It could have been China, which was popular years ago, or South America or any other poor thirdworld country. Africa is now in this season. However, they completly ignore the fact that 69 percent of African Americans; mainly women are infected with HIV/AIDS.

[priscila]

U ARE SO GREAT, THIS LAST ONE IS SO AMAZIN!!!!

[rita]

you are A GENIUS!

[Shannon]

The Banda purse is one of my all-time favourite pieces of yours!! This foreign baby-collecting trend is like a brand new civilizing mission for the 21st century... hopefully people see it for what it is.

[snowballa]

ALL OF YOU, black and white, stop incorrectly using the word racist. Jeez.

Racism is when one race uses political and financial power to put down another race because they believe that they are superior. This drawing does not do anything but show how children from the CONTINENT of Africa (i hate it when people refer to Africa is if it's a country, it has 52 countries) are being used by vacuous celebrities such as Madonna and Meg Ryan. There's nothing RACIST or preduice about it. Politically incorrect? Yes, but so true.

I always say that adoptions are bullshit. I would rather go to these 3rd world countries and build hospitals, schools and create jobs so that these parents are able to raise their own children. What parent would want to give their child away if they had to? Not many. Instead of rich Americans handpicking these orphans and giving their millions to all these stupid charities, they should get together and put in some face time and try to rebuild these socities. I could only imagine the culture shock that David Banda, Maddox and Zahara Jolie-Pitt go through when they look around and see that most of the people around them don't look like them and I could only imagine what ridicule they will be put through when they start school. If rich countries like United States (who only donates .1% of our national budget towards 3rd world countries) and Great Britain REALLY places like Ethiopia and Malawi, then children can grow up in their own socities and thus turn around and help their fellow countrymen.

And now I'm getting off my soapbox.

[Danielle]

OMG, that Louis Vuitton black baby handbag is about the funniest thing I think you've ever done!!!

[Stacey]

Brilliant work 14! Your site is one of my all time favorite websites. You crack me up, keep up the good work!
Snowballa, I think you had some extremely relevant information to share. But you "always say that adoptions are bullshit"? Do you mean ALL adoptions, or the adoptions that 14 is satirizing? I truly hope a woman who sounds as intelligent and passionate about social justice as you do, would not hold such a completely ignorant belief that all adoptions are as ridiculous as the ones Hollywood publicizes. There are countless parents who are heroes to adopted children out there.
Whew! What a controversy this work has created. Way to spark our passion, 14!

[snowballa]

Stacey,

I mean, the celebrity adoptions, sorry, I didn't specify.

[Gigi]

Snoballa, how is an "orphan" going to be raised by parents, if both the mother and father have died from AIDS as happens all too often on the continent of Africa. Nothing wrong with adoption if it is done for the right reasons...Love and concern about the welfare of these vulnerable, little, human beings...not to gain a little publicity and higher approval ratings. 25
years from now, I can't wait to see the documentary - "Mommy Dearest - The Next Generation"
Yes, the drawings are offensive, but only because they so blatantly tell the truth!
Great Job 14!

[deanna]

Demon Kitty,
you are a bad a** and i admire and respect you and would hope you would try to make a guest appearance at the Bad A**es of America monthly meeting or at least contribute a few words of wisdom to the Bad A**es of America monthly news letter. Stacey i must concur with your comment. now snowballa, just what makes you think the majority of women or men or both, that give up their young do so unwillingly? if you have never had the pleasure to work for family social services i would encourage you to do so as to learn more about the human spirit my friend, perhaps the peace corp even. you seem to focus on the continent of africa when addressing the issue of adoption, however, there are some very memorable places in poland i have seen that are comparable for media value, however there are no flies buzzing around the heads of these little white children, BUT, they are caged inside of cribs, changed every few days, and fed expired milk from bottles with mold (no running water for rinsing and stuff) using a nipple stained from mildew. Of course celebs wouldn't be interested in polish infants because you know you shouldn't wear white after labor day, or so they say. but back to your idea of building hospitals and schools and communities of love in third world countries; now who, pray tell, will be infinitely funding these feel good projects? didn't you already make the point that the richest nations barely donate 0.1% or some tragic amount of money to the countries IN africa? you know george orwell wrote this book called animal farm. i recommend it for those who have these wild and crazy thoughts about utopia. so far as rebuilding society, just what would you propose we rebuild? for crying out loud we can't stop stealing from ourselves to fix the iraqi neighborhoods we destroyed for the sake of liberating them, despite the fact they are sitting on tons of oil. they are worse since we came along with our westernized ideologies about government and neat thing like that, never mind we are notably a gazillion dollars in debt as we rebuildish neighborhoods. now would i like to go to a country located within the continent of Africa for research and both teach and learn? Yes, but what that i can't because the tribal folks who have a monopoly on the adoptable black babies have said their pr people have them booked solid until fall with all the hoopla of save the world, save the child, save the condom, save the clitoris, save the this and that. Now then snowballa do i agree sahara,aj's daughter, is going to have it rough? Momma said yes sir cuz let’s keep it real, you cannot put gel in a black child's hair and just call it a day. i do foresee a macy gray day for that child once the afro pops free around 4 or 5 yrs old and brad and angie are sitting on a couch with a jar of grease and a cornrow comb trying to figure out just what the hell they're gonna do now. and you know madonna ain't answering her phone cuz she's just as clueless, no wait she's got dennis rodman on speed dial. Lord help help the little black children.

[Claire]

The best thing about Angelina's adoptions is that she has now come out and said that she loves her adopted children more than her natural child and even referred to Shiloh as a "blob" with no personality. Methinks somebody is trying a wee bit too hard here.

[Melanie]

I love the David Banda Vuitton, that's awesome!!!

[Wake up and smell the coffee]

Claire, you're an idiot. I'm no huge fan of Angelina Jolie, but what she said was that she didn't automatically love her bio kid more than her adopted kids, in fact she felt they needed more from her because they hadn't been privileged from birth. I'm sure she is feeling pressure from The Stupid People (like you, dear) who assume she will make her adopted kids take a backseat to the Holy Vessel now that she's here. To me, her statement indicates a thoughtful and loving person, but hey; the Stupid People (hello, Claire!) think this means she is some sort of monster.

As for newborns being blobs...they ARE blobs, and only a hormone-addled cow would think otherwise. She also said Shiloh is now developing a personality as she gets older, which is a far cry from saying she is a "blob with no personality". Read again for comprehension this time, my double-digit IQ'd pal.

Jesus. What IS it with you breeders and your weird cult of 'baby is perfect/baby rules the world/baby is god', anyway? You're the kind of person who moos about the wonders of babies, until you meet someone pregnant for the first time, and then the truth comes out. The war stories, the blood, the horror...I've met so many women like you. I pity your kids, lady.

[Just Another Opinion]

You people should be ashamed of yourself! Absolutely ashamed.

First of all, is Madonna or Angelina Jolie a close and personal friend of yours? Do you hang out with them and their pool boys on a regular basis sipping Green Apple Martinis while shooting the shit? No?? Than how dare you have the audacity to judge them based on journal and magazine articles.

How the hell do you know they're terrible mothers incapable of loving their adopted children to the full potential? Why? Because Joile married BB Thornton suddenly shes an "unfit mother?", or because Madonna sang from a Crucifix at her concert? Open your goddamn eyes people - you chastize Madge and AJ for being such terrible people yet there are thousands moms using their babys diaper money to shoot heroin into their arms. Please, give me a break.

On top of that, what about Nicole Kidman - should we freak out on her to? She has a black / african American (trying to stay PC here) adopted child - did she do it for publicity?

What about Meg Ryan? She just adopted a child from China - damn, that attention whoring hussy!

If youre going to bash Madge and AJ better throw those into the mix as well.

Regardless of their intentions (which I truly do not believe Madge and Aj are doing it for publicity and you people are demented to think so) I think it is amazing that these children will have so many oppurtunities, so many chances in life and will inevitabely avoid a life of hardship, disease and poverty. Shame on you all for marking up their good will as PR. Maybe if they were holding their babies with their legless crotches up in the air and a bottle of vodka in the other hand they'd be looking for attention...

That said, if I see Paris Hilton with an adopted Third World Baby I might change my opinion.

[14]

oh dear, the name callin' has started. No worries Claire, you should see some of the angry emails I've been sent over this thing. Yep, I've been called every horrible name in the book and then some. On top of that, a freaky woman calling herself a witch threatened to put a spell on me. I fear I shall awaken tomorrow morning and will be turned into a toad. Hmmm, now that I think about it, being a toad could actually be lots of fun - thanks witch lady!

Thanks for your comments everyone...
xoxo
14

[Stacey]

Wow, I've never been pulled into comment sections before. But 14! Call me the Good Witch of the West and I will counteract any spell given you with my pink and sparkily powers...
I hate to hear you're being criticized for your work. If we take a step back, we can agree or disagree with what you create, but it is the freedom of this country that you can express yourself however you see fit... without being called names or threatened with evil spells or voodoo dolls!
Anyway! I had to add another of my two-cents if only to let you know that I'm cheering for you, 14. I hope you never, ever stop and 30 years from now I'm laughing with my children (adopted, fostered, born, stolen, created via lab, cloned, or whatever crazy method I may use) at your art!
Try sleeping with some fairy dust under your pillow... if you don't have any, glitter will work just as well!
Good luck 14. Fight the power!

PS ~ I wouldn't really steal children. I might, however, clone myself a few dozen times...

[emi]

the kabbalah bracelet, people, the bracelet! the frame looks like it had been purchased from an African Curio shop! (note, i am not taking Africa as one country, Since i am from the East of Africa, i should know better)

[Kai]

I am ashamed! I am very ashamed! -writes this down on my list to ask for forgiveness for before Yom Kippur- Anyhow, what was I ashamed of? Oh right, being concerned that a human life is placed in the control of another for the wrong reasons. Horrible of me.

By the way, if I were Madonna's close friend, do you think I would be in a position to criticize her? And do you think she'd pull me over and say, "Psst- I'm adopting babies as a bit of a trend- you know how it is. Another bottle of champagne my dear Kai?" (That's exactly what she'd say and you know it! And it would be Mumm's champagne!)

Fine, my point being- I had no idea Nicole Kidman and Meg Ryan adopted children- how wonderful for them. But if this issue with Madonna and AJ has reached my celeb gissop ignoring ears, then I'd say the PR machine is running well.

Shalom,
Kai
(As a note I would like to remind people to not worry about being PC and as long as no obvious slurs are avoided, you'll be fine. As a minority I can say it actually kinda annoys me when people get all PC and you could be wrong in your PC term- where would you be then? Tell it like it is. Kai likes honesty.)