The Perez Hilton Dart Board
The best selling holiday gift in Hollywood is the Perez Hilton Dart Board. Stores can't keep it in stock! The "Queen of All Media" boasts to be "Hollywood's Most-Hated Web Site" and proudly lives up to this claim. Perez is known for feuding with Tara Reid, pissing off Jennifer Aniston, harping on Beyonce, insulting Rachel Zoe....oh the list goes on and on. The Perez Hilton Dart Board can be found at Walgreens and is made of high-quality materials imported from China. Due to the size of Perez's head, extra bolts and bracing are included so that your walls won't collapse under its weight. Hurry, get your dart board before the photo agencies buy them all up. Medium: Gouache on paper.
You forgot the little trail of white snot/coke he paints onto the faces on all the pictures on his site.
Posted by: Charlene | December 14, 2006 at 02:38 AM
I guess its oficial now...is he a celebrity..or sort of? cause if he's on your gallery ,its cause he made it right LOL (it was about time tho)
great works as always, congrats
Posted by: Vinci | December 14, 2006 at 04:47 AM
Don't you think it's time to take down that Press Coverage, Poor Brad, blurb on the left side of your page. It's outdated and old. Update your page, pleezzzzzzze!
Posted by: mmyers | December 14, 2006 at 05:49 AM
PERFECT! ERES EL MÁS GRANDE!!!
Posted by: tok | December 14, 2006 at 06:34 AM
It is beautiful! I want one!
Hey...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, 14!!!!!!
Posted by: Cyclops Kitten Natividad | December 14, 2006 at 07:50 AM
I'm going to walgreens later today ;) I'll definitely have to pick up a few.
Kudos again, 14.
Posted by: Morrigan | December 14, 2006 at 08:07 AM
It would be hard to miss a target as big as his giganto-head.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY 14 !!!!!!
YOU ROCK!
Posted by: Karin | December 14, 2006 at 08:47 AM
Right on!! I hate this gay douche!! He makes money out of stealing pictures and stories. LOSER. Thanks for the humor.
Posted by: happy | December 14, 2006 at 10:20 AM
i bet when your dart punctures his giant forehead, you hear wishhhhhhhh as a volume of hot air escapes.
sometimes I think perez gets so distracted by donuts and whatnot that he just licks the crumbs off his keyboard and leaves the resulting words and exclaimation points for readers to make some sense of.
Posted by: Javelin | December 14, 2006 at 10:34 AM
Got to hear Perez Hilton on Howard Stern's show last week. Gotta say, I like him !Tells it like it is. When Howard asked what big celebrity he didn't like, Perez said Jennifer Aniston. Howard agreed she was a miserable human being. haha
Posted by: Debra | December 14, 2006 at 12:20 PM
Perez Hilton a celeb? What did he do? Oh yeah, nothing...
You're fabulous! Keep it coming!
Posted by: Cheeky Monkey | December 14, 2006 at 03:12 PM
You know, people love to hate Perez. To be honest, I must admit, I like him. He's got a good sense of humour and is clearly having a great time doing what he does. He takes far more abuse than he perhaps deserves, and, most importantly, he takes the abuse on the chin and keeps smiling. You have to respect that. Agreed, every post on his site is not spectacular, but who cares? A lot of them are damn funny.
Criticism that is based on anger and hatred can be a terribly ugly thing. Criticism that is offered with humour, in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way, can be downright fun for all.
This piece is fantastic. Your work is nothing short of delightful. Love you to bits, 14.
Posted by: Jenn F. | December 14, 2006 at 03:35 PM
I see it's your birthday. I should have KNOWN you are a Sagittarius. That explains EVERYTHING.
Keep on being the coolest, most talented, and most beautiful artist that you are. You make the world a brighter (and FUNNIER) place!
lots of love to you on your special day!
Posted by: James | December 14, 2006 at 04:04 PM
This is so fucking funny! Too bad you didn't draw the jizz oozing out of his mouth like the way he does to those allegedly gay celebrities! You got his nose and his mouth so perfect.
It's your birthday 14? HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!
So Much Love,
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | December 14, 2006 at 04:59 PM
That's awesome. I'm not a big fan of Perez -- he's unnecessarily mean. You should have made him fatter and have white stuff dribbling from his mouth.
Posted by: | December 14, 2006 at 08:05 PM
I love your work, but I think your portrait of Perez is much too kind. The nose needs to be more pig-like.
Posted by: Mary | December 14, 2006 at 08:20 PM
love the new post. you're such a clever girl. oh, and Happy Birthday .... I should have KNOWN that you are a Sagittarius. That explains everything.
Posted by: james | December 14, 2006 at 09:32 PM
ha! that's awesome. for all you perez-haters, there's a funny little blug called http://fuckperezhilton.blogspot.com/ that makes some good pointers on perez and other crap.
Posted by: famous.person | December 15, 2006 at 02:01 AM
Perez is so annoying...
Posted by: Jan | December 15, 2006 at 02:23 AM
"Due to the size of Perez's head, extra bolts and bracing are included so that your walls won't collapse under its weight. "
Brilliant! Your copy is as good as your illustrations, really funny stuff.
What is so galling about this douchebag is the fact that he cozies up to the celebrities he makes a tidy living off of skewering. It would be like you, 14, accepting a dinner invitation to the House of Cruise. Please tell us you never will, ok 14? ;D
Posted by: Moonmaid | December 15, 2006 at 06:03 AM
Hahahaahaha It`s a mean gift! ;)
Feliz Cumpleaños 14! Muchas Felicidades!!
Saluditos!!
Posted by: azuka | December 15, 2006 at 07:46 AM
Happy birthday wishes. Once again, bravo.
Posted by: Maria | December 15, 2006 at 09:36 AM
Perez seemed to be excited to be talking about it.
www.gentletip.com
Posted by: GentleTip.com | December 15, 2006 at 11:51 AM
I like how Tara Reid's dart missed the board. She threw it while stinking drunk.
Posted by: cindy | December 15, 2006 at 02:08 PM
HA HA HA. I've definitely getting one!
Posted by: Brandi | December 15, 2006 at 02:43 PM
It's deliciously funny - and of course Perez thinks it's a flattering homage to himself. What a dumbass.
Posted by: candy blackmail | December 15, 2006 at 08:52 PM
Oh no!
That's to much honour for that guy.
Posted by: Yetused | December 16, 2006 at 06:12 AM
Perez is a hack. He steals his stories as well as his photos and spends an annoyingly large amount of time promoting himself on his blog---as if we care. Great dartboard!!! I'll take it!!
Posted by: Cupcake | December 16, 2006 at 01:33 PM
True that Candy Blackmail, he 'thinks' it's hilarious, he says on his site. And I'm pretty sure 14 just made his head blow up 100% bigger than his fatass can handle, and he exploded.
Yay for 14! And happy birthday bitchh! Go out and have fun, just don't pull a Britney and flash your cootch everywhere!
Posted by: Bella | December 16, 2006 at 02:43 PM
I can't stand that Neanderthal looking son-of-a-B!tch Perez Hilton...
Posted by: Ginger Spice Rack | December 16, 2006 at 04:33 PM
Yes! Apparently, you're not alone...
fuckperezhilton.blogspot.com
Posted by: sister_nancy | December 17, 2006 at 02:57 AM
Perfecto Mundo indeed, guess I'd rather throw the board than waste good darts on it!!!
Posted by: | December 17, 2006 at 02:10 PM
Heck I'd throw a brick at that puppy. Damn his eyes just seem to follow you everywhere, yikes!
Posted by: Damien | December 17, 2006 at 02:11 PM
Perez stole a pic from Desiring Hayden, Hayden Christensen's fan site. No credit for her.
Posted by: Michelle | December 17, 2006 at 11:04 PM
Wish you hadn't linked to his site, last thing he needs is more traffic, wish he would just go away, even hating him feeds the beast.
Posted by: Alli | December 19, 2006 at 08:16 AM
Let's get married! I think I love you!
I used to read Perez and I used to find him funny, but I found that wore off after a while and he started seeming annoying... while Laineygossip.com and DListed just get funnier and funnier...
Posted by: AussieAndrea | December 20, 2006 at 07:51 PM
Perez doesn't even deserve to be caricatured on this site, imo but you did capture him perfectly. What's brilliant is that you didn't have to exaggerate any of his features...he looks exactly like that, to his misfortunate or perhaps our amusement.
Posted by: candy blackmail | December 23, 2006 at 04:56 AM
He sucks. I used to read him about a year and a half ago, before I knew that better celebrity blogs existed. I think he used to link your site, which is how I found you. I usually don't comment on him because you know he thrives on negative attention and I want him to just go away already!!
Posted by: ILSA | December 26, 2006 at 06:42 PM
I'm sorry, I love the site but who is Perez Hilton? Is he related to Paris?
Posted by: MDK | January 12, 2007 at 12:14 AM
Nevermind...
Posted by: mdk | January 15, 2007 at 01:01 AM
Perez is pathetic...I would pay money to see Perez (and Paris) Hilton torn apart by wild animals. These two people use and manipulate people to gain fame. Their 15 minutes will be up soon enough...maybe when they turn on each other.
Posted by: hunter | April 24, 2007 at 12:02 PM
I think Perez is only a little gay loser who has to diss other people to be a star......but he will never be a star!!!!
Everybody who wanted that his stupid site will close....vote on www.perezlavigne.com !!!
Posted by: hannah | December 02, 2007 at 08:14 AM