Britney, Lindsay and Paris: The Three Disgraces

La Primavera is one of Sandro Botticelli's best known paintings. The angelic figures shown in this ethereal work of art all represent mythological characters. While viewing this painting at the Uffizi, my eyes were drawn to the fluid movement and delicate beauty of the Three Graces. According to Greek mythology, the Three Graces represent beauty, charm and joy. Contemporary mythological characters such as Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are the antithesis of grace. This makes them the Three Disgraces. They represent sleaze, trash, and desperate cry for attention. What makes these women think we want to see high resolution photos of their bald, flabby, and in Britney's case, Kevin Federline-infected genitalia? If they want to show off their crotch, why don't they just go ahead and pose for Playboy? Their girlie bits would be thankfully photo retouched to oblivion and our precious eyeballs would be spared the harsh detail of pimples, stubble, cesarean scar and general ickiness sullying their private parts. Medium: Acrylic on board.

Comments

[SM]

I have to stop popping in here, I'm going to literally die laughing one of these days.
*Ow ow ow...my side hurts from laughing!*

14, I bow to your creativity, you are brilliant. Thanks for all your hard work.
:-)

[Oldie]

14, brilliant as usual!

[Chantelle]

I love it! (But I guess you already knew that).

[Kiki]

Bravo!!! :)))

[Hee]

Hilarious and all so true!

By the way, the link to Primavera doesn't work...

[Texas]

ROFL!!!! They must be celebrating the fact they reeked nothing but yeast infection, poop, crab infested, and ungodly vag discharges! Ewwwwwwww I think I'm going to throw up!

Fab work as always!!!!!!!!!

[Erik]

I wish I could say "That's hot" but its too damned funny to be hot.

[amara]

Absolute genius. Botticelli would approve.

[Shoshie]

Thank you so much for this. I was hoping you would do the whole Briney thing justice and you did! I half expected to see cheeto crumbs on Britney's hootch. hehe

[BrnEyedGirl676]

I think you like La-Lohan... she looks down-right pretty in your painting (and I think her freckles are cute!). She looks like she's leading away her ugly step-sisters to the carnival freak show, set up at the edge of the woods. But that's just my interpretation.

[Andie]

This is great, but you've made Lohan way too pretty and innocent looking here.

I love Paris's wonky eye and hooked nose. Good job.

[Kitty in Washington]

Brilliant!

[Worker B...itch]

Love the art. Love your words.

[Ignatz]

Holy Cow! I'm not sure Botticelli would've approved, but Goya most certainly would have...

[Alana]

BEST PICTURE EVER!

[SaraS-P]

I just found this site --- if it is always this hilarious, I am sure glad I did!

[Jeili]

14? Your creativity never ceases to amaze.You are truly gifted... and I am laughing so hard, tears are streaming down my cheeks.

[Sassy]

OMG.......I love it! Fabulous! Although I think Lindsay is waaaay too pretty in this, you gotta fug her up abit...well, love the freckley/pimply ass.....LOL!

[Crees_dahl]

Oh My Lord...

I honestly had to look at this for a few minutes to get all the crazy details you threw in there. Love it. That is all I can say.

[IamHOT]

HAHA. SO FUNNY AND SO TRUE!!! HAHA to the Parasite Hilton bumps down there. ewww grossssss

[ricko]

I've been a fan of yours for over a year now.
This is truly one of your finest!The huge fingers, the warts, it's brilliant! One question though, what are your REAL,TRUE fellings about the antics of these 'desperate degenerates'? (sounds like a sequel to a currently popular TV show! LOL)Thanx for the S&G!!

[mtx]

Hey! How come Lindsey still looks ok?

[Leslie]

Perfect! Bravo!!!

[Jessica]

Oh, the detail!!

I simply love the ungodly huge feet of Paris Hilton along with those wretched bumps on her bikini area! hahaha! Brilliant!

[Noelegy]

Ye gods and little fishes, this one could have used a "Not Safe For Work" warning. Ai-yi! Nailed it again. I took a Renaissance art history class a few years ago, and one of our assignments was to write compare-and-contrast papers on two Ren paintings. Our choice of paintings, but there were some we were specifically prohibited from using because they were just too complicated for the scope of the paper. "Primavera" was one of them. I've always found it to be such an interesting piece of art, with all the symbolism and detail. For every grace there must, apparently, be disgrace, and we're certainly living in the age of disgrace: such a change from the Italian Renaissance. I'm sure they had their scandals back then, too, only ours are so much more out there and in our faces, much as we might wish otherwise.

[Gigi]

Rolemodels for young teens? - You sure have painted us a harsh reality.
I am amazed at how much I laugh every time I come to this site - phenomenal work!
- love love Parisite's enormous feet and twiching eye - :)

[Hoo-hah!]

Preach on, Sister.

[Maria]

OMG hahaha. Paris looks like Barbra Streisand. Lindsay is the only gorgeous one of the bunch. Poor retards. Excellent work once again.

[cookie]

They really do have it coming...

[mariaaaaa]

Brilliant!
I LOVE how wonky and diseased you make Ostrich face look and how tubby and confused you make Brit look. I also secretly like Linds so I'm pleased that she looks pretty. Somebody please help that girl before she gains permanent residency in skank-land!

[Morrigan]

Absolute genius! I'm stunned into silence... thank you for gracing us with your talents!

[Maritza]

so funny and so true!

[LA]

Another one for the hall of fame!

[bubble over]

OMG, that is so (sorry Brit) hilarious :D

[Jim]

This is a riot, you're my man!! Oh yeah of course they had their fair share of scandals, I mean, eh, the Renaissance crowd. I did Decamerone in college and it was quite a rowdy age, except that everything back then were done discreetly and (dare I say it) gracefully.

I guess Lindsay Lohan is, I assume most people would probably agree, the least disgusting looking among the 3 (vis-a-vis a Lousiana trailer trash and a herpes infested match-stick so we're not settin' the bar too high here), so I'm not gonna take offense that she seems a bit less revolting than the other 2 here...

[darin]

great, great work! love paris' wonky eye and man hands! and britney's goldfish face has never looked trashier! keep it up!

[tom]

You are consistently brilliant. I cannot wait for the inevitable book compilation of these.

Thanks!

[Samantha Jones]

Fucking brilliant. From the wonky eye to the space between Shitney's eyes, you didn't miss a single detail. Genius.

[ccc]

Terrific! You totally read my mind. None of these women want to subject themselves in the pages of Playboy..yet are willing to give us, the public, a Photoshop-free retina burning peep show. Herpes, warts and all.
B+ for the creativity..but you forgot Lindsay's cankles, double chin and open-mouthed blank coke stare..maybe next time..

[Alix]

I want one! I want one! HA. HA. HA. HA.

[wundersmack]

I'm going to take a shower in hot bleach now.

[gossipaddicted]

poor Botticelli..ahahahhah ..you're great ....very hilarious |
Isabella

[Chansmom]

OMG!!!! 14, I'm going to have to quit coming here if I'm rushing through my dinner in front of the computer while getting my work done! First, yuck! I should have known better! LOL! And secondly, you rock!

I couldn't resist looking when someone I know sent me a link to see Britney's naughty bits. Oh my! That silly 'yotch. She has now proven she has no class.

[Long Island Irish]

I love this one 14! Although I do think Shitney's "girlie parts" look far worse than can possibly be portrayed.

The only thing I really need to say is that Britney is by far the worst here. All three of these people are disgusting but Britney is a MOTHER for God's sake! Seriously, I fear that K-Fed may very well end up with those kids. He's a slime bag but at least he wears underwear. One way or another those kids are screwed. :(

[yea sure]

Sorry but this is a very sexist and stupid drawing.

And your commentary proves that it's not done at all in good humor, but comes from a place of hatred.

"They represent sleaze, trash, and desperate cry for attention. What makes these women think we want to see high resolution photos of their bald, flabby, and in Britney's case, Kevin Federline-infected genitalia? If they want to show off their crotch, why don't they just go ahead and pose for Playboy?"

Yea right. And you're not doing this drawing to attract attention to your "sleaze, trash, and desperate cry for attention " self / site ? Get off your off high horse please.

>>

[deanna]

i would like to direct my indignant comment to what "yea sure" posted...go buck a fuffalo!! i understand the countries conviently located along said axis of evil are currently accepting visa applications for folks who aren't into freedom of expression nor speech. now do these three nutjobs take their expression too far, beyond the ability of some to stomach, or drive to gouge said eyes out? damn right!! am i sick of it? damn skippy!! do i think shitney should be presenting awards at the kids nickolodeon awards like some sorta role model?... chile pleez. you keep doing yo thang 14.. by the way the background is very clever. love the illusions

[ItsMe]

Brilliant!

[SlumNobility]

Usually your work is very funny and cartoonish, but the social criticism in this work I think sets it apart. For me this is your best and most intelligent work yet. Unfortunately for the individuals in this painting...they have no sense of grace or disgrace! You'll never run out of work, I suppose.

[tala]

this is pure genius! you got my entire office in stitches. thanks again for brightening our day with your delightfully horrific painting.

[Marie]

How did you keep your hand still while painting? You must have been giggling your pants off, yea?

Hee-hee!

(My God, the look on Britney's face. Too rich.)