These Boots Were Made For Hopping

The Jessica Simpson Dingbat Frog can be found hopping around Hollywood in search of a suitable mate. It can be identified by its large chest spilling out of low cut tops and also by its habit of wearing silly boots. The disturbing croak of the Dingbat Frog has been recorded on CD and is available for purchase. A distinguishing characteristic of the Dingbat Frog is its enormous rubbery mouth which is often kept agape. This allows the frog to feed on cash flies buzzing around lucrative endorsement deals such as Proactive Acne Solution, Pizza Hut Cheesy Bites, clip-on hair, accessories and cosmetics. This concludes the series of "Celebimals" commissioned by Animal magazine. Medium: Ink and acrylic on paper, Latin phrase by Michael K.

It occured to me that I could create a comic strip based simply on Jessica Simpson's expressive mouth.

I would never ever run out of material.

Okay, I'll stop now. (Images from strip #3 are from Getty.)

Comments

[Kai]

I am frightened. Thanks.

Shalom,
Kai

[jerkygirl]

*clutching sides trying not to laugh self to death* It looks EXACTLY like her!!! I mean EXACTLY. Oh my gosh, I love the little money bugs (Simpson skeeters?) too. This is the best one yet. I'm sorry the animal series is over; every one of them is better than the last. This one is off the charts, though. You are officially the bestest Artist ever. :)

[SlumNobility]

That frog is freakin hilarious. Nice how you managed to sneak in that bit of deflated butt, too. The dingbat frog seems to be saying, "hey, yall!" Your best work are originals like these and the "tom and the beanstalk" instead of photo manipulation.

[Morrigan]

Wow... her mouth deserves a horror movie of some sort. 'She Couldn't Close Her Mouth'?

Excellent! I'm still gigglin'.

[Damien]

Great stuff, whats up with that mouth of hers it seems like its got a life of its own,
it could be that there is no actual link between her brain and her mouth, which would explain so, so much.

[Pikachelsea]

Wow. I always knew that Jessica Simpson was cable of producing the dumbest, most over-exaggerated facial expressions on the planet... and this is a fabulous compendium of her "greatest hits".

I demand more comics of Jessica and her gaping maw.

[midevil]

Perfect!

[Viper Tetsu]

Yes, the lips are brilliant. Yes, the li'l money bugs are a fabulous, nuanced touch. But my favoritest detail on this amphibian is the energetic stupidity that glazes the eyes. Empowerment for utter imbeciles, the girl is.

Place that overripe kisser of hers against a pane of glass, and those lips'll hold better than the strongest suction cup technology can muster.

[Viper Tetsu]

Oh, and bonus points for the title to this entry. It's got me chortling just thinking about it.

[Cyclops Kitten Natividad]

Her mouth has all the life her eyes don't.

[Jenn F.]

It's the eyes more than anything that make it an undeniable likeness. That wide-open, overly made-up, doltish expression that just cries, "Won'tchew be mah frayend? Ah'm not too smert but mah dadday says mah jigger juggers'll mayke us ahl a raht fortchun."

[123]

Oh my god!! Thats exactly like her! I've been thinking of what animal she resembles best.. and its a toad! Good work.
Jessica is washed up now, somebody please throw her ass into a swamp

[Javelin]

hahaha this makes me imagine what it would be like to watch E! on acid, where all the celebrities morph into the animals they resemble as they saunter down the red carpet making weird faces.

[Demon Kitty]

Oh my God! You even got her cleft chin! Those eyes look exactly like her! How did you do that 14? You are a genius! I have to agree with Damien that there is no link between her brain and her mouth.

The way her tits are hanging down between her legs ..... I'll stop there. I needed a bit of cheering up on this depressing night. Thanks 14!

So Much Love,
Demon Kitty

[salmonella]

Oh yes, they are MONEY bugs! Of course! Another ingenious offering 14!

[theidlereceptionist]

YES!

[azuka]

Hahahahaha... She is so stupid...

You`re great 14

Saluditos!

[Kai]

If I may analyze the photos above, I see (starting from the top panel, left picture):(1) feigned "I'm so blonde" expression of suprise; excited Vegas whore; Pamela Anderson impression; (2) awkward 14 y/o girl with a toothache; someone's supposedly proper mom absolutely stoned off her arse; expression of a not-that-funny-but-actually-annoying comedian trying desperately for a laugh; (3) Blonde girl trying to "show some gumption"; blonde girl trying to look cute and charming; Jessica's classic expression, the "please take me seriously and ignore the fact I have fish lips" face. I am embarassed to admit that I find her kinda pretty sometimes, but her apparent lack of brains quickly quash any attraction I have for her. Something about her rubber lips...

Shalom,
Kai
(Your token Jewish commenter)

[Oldie]

Is that mouth and those lips natural? Your painting seems more natural to me...

[Texas]

Anybody up for some Jessica's frog legs for dinner? Those flies shape like S--Brilliant! Thanks for my much need Gallery of the Absurd dose! This world is a much better place to live because of you and your art. Mwah!

[Carmen]

Love the ($) flies :) brilliant!

[pilar.]

you might be the most talented artist i've ever seen.

[mick]

Is the HDTV commercial available nationwide? Because that is the worst commercial of the year. The ad agency should be fired. The director should be fired.
I wish you could have had that hairdresser guy as one of the flies.
Great Work...

[gail]

This is brilliant...from the nasty weave, bulging brown eyes, huge fake veneers and top heavy body.

[kelw]

I love your work! Can't wait to see your response to the britney/paris stories...where to start!? you have more material than a kirstie ally dress : )

[giggles]

That frog looks eerily like her! I noticed last that the artist even gave the frog hair!!! Hahahahahaha!!!!! Whoever this artist is he should put his paintings in the Metropolitan Museum of Art!

[Jenna]

The fourth picture is the mini Simpson, JessicaFrog's little sister AshleyToad - that nose is unmistakeable! As always, your art is superb!!!

[mellen]

I visit this site daily (when does she update by the way) Point is, this isn't the first time I say the above Jessica print, but I am currently drinking wine, and just laughed out pino gris thru my nose.

[Vermont Neighbor]

Brilliant... great work! I'm laughing at Jess's expense. The teeth and that little bicuspid are perfect. Not to mention, dem Double-D suckers and the always vacant eyes. Where would our world be, had Joe Simpson hadboys ???

[Marie]

Hysterical!! I feel like she was in the room with you. The likeness is startling.

Once more, take a bow, 14. And thanks so much for the laughs.

[monica]

oh my, she is so annoying.

[TheGuyver]

I find it hilarious. However I still can help thinking about the dirty things I'd like to do to that mouth.

[Pip]

She does look like Ricky Martin in some of these pics

[Noelegy]

Does the expression "finer than frog hair" come to anyone else's mind?

The Jessica-frog is cuter than the Jessica-person, in my opinion.

[Demon Kitty]

I know this is awful, but can you imagine what her face looks like during an orgasm ......

[soulpower]

Those facial expressions are screaming for some Jeff Polage.

[Kiki Shaw]

I always thought that Jessica Simpson has an uncanny resemblance to a velociraptor, especially when she does that "over the shoulder" pose. I just imagine her cocking her head in wonder before tapping that claw and attacking...

[Lisa]

please please please make more. I'm laughing my ass off.

[Beat Down Acne]

After seeing her new Direct TV comercial I approve with your rendition of her

[TheRingMaster]

The "Latin phrases" are pretty lame. Funny stuff, though.

[Darcy]

best. caricature. ever.

[wayne]

you all are so fucking jealous, u guys need to get a real dog life.