Alien Invasion or Excessive Photoshop?
When I first laid eyes upon Janet Jackson's photo on the October issue of W, it appeared they had put a Klingon on the cover. "Oh wow," I thought, "they're doing a Halloween issue!" Upon further examination, I was shocked to discover that the otherworldly creature was indeed a very bizarre looking Janet Jackson. Janet looks normal (well, normal for a Jackson) on all the other millions of magazine covers she's appeared on this month, so I wonder what happened over at the W art department? I may have to look into getting a job there. Getting paid to mutate Hollywood celebrities into space aliens for magazine covers? Sign me up.
Dlisted's observation of Janet looking like a "cocker spaniel in a leotard" must also be noted.
Jajajajajajajaaja... Very Good! OMG! It`s so good to see things like this (your work 14) in the morning taking my coffe. I like the eyes and the nose. Honestly Janet makes me ill... To me She looks like a tranny... sorry!
Many regards and good luck!
Posted by: azuka | October 03, 2006 at 03:33 AM
This is the most horrendous picture I've ever seen of Janet Jackson. That wig is completely awful on a woman of color, and the outfit is ridiculous. Plus the photoshop department at W should be sacked.
She looks like a cross between Xenu and her crazy brother. And where did her neck go?
Can't we at least count on Oprah to tell her the truth?
Your rendition is supurb, as usual.
That second picture though is a COMPLETE insult to Cocker Spaniels.
Posted by: DonnaJEM | October 03, 2006 at 06:45 AM
Janet Jackson is repulsive. And it looks like another wardrobe malfunctioned all over her arms.
Posted by: SlumNobility | October 03, 2006 at 06:57 AM
Very funny! Though I'm pretty sure the original cover was just a victim of bad photoshop technique.
Posted by: Christine | October 03, 2006 at 07:35 AM
"Seventy is the New Twenty." I don't care for these tags, but LMFAO. Piss, everywhere. Soon: "Dementia and death is the New Eighteen." Wait, that's eighteen now.
Ah, 14, your genius grows more brilliant all the time.
Posted by: Josh Maday | October 03, 2006 at 08:58 AM
The thing about Janet is she has eyes are absolutely without animation. Most people display emotions that are reflected in their eyes: Janet's reveal nothing. That and the coma-fied, brain-dead, little girl voice when she speaks (rather than sings). What the hell happened to her?
Posted by: langtry | October 03, 2006 at 09:21 AM
I love you, 14! finally, someone realizes how disgusting this picture looks and captured it perfectly. You're amazing. Also, does anyone else think she looks like a mentally-retarded Barbarella on this cover?
Posted by: Bella | October 03, 2006 at 10:59 AM
I know what you mean! she looks even worse than usual on that cover...but I haven't read to the actual interview yet so maybe her other pictures are better?
Posted by: laura | October 03, 2006 at 02:18 PM
aAAaaAaaaaAAaa
that scared me ..
xD
Posted by: licoricepirate | October 03, 2006 at 02:56 PM
The lazer beams emanating from the eyes frickin' slay and mutilate me. Mag-FABU-nificent, as usual! Ms. Jackson and Diana Ross appear to have emerged from the same spacecraft.
When I was a wee lad in the late eighties, Janet Jackson inspired me to compose and record a song. It was entitled "Epileptic Bitch".
I feel a remake, "Epileptic Alien Bitch," coming on. Maybe Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis could produce it.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | October 03, 2006 at 05:01 PM
I agree, she looks like a zombified sex doll and looks like she's had a few ribs removed too.
Posted by: emma | October 03, 2006 at 05:23 PM
There's nothing un-sexier than someone trying really hard to look sexy.
Notice that ever since Janet lost the 300 extra pounds, you can't find a single photo of her with more than a few scraps of material barely covering her bits? "Lookit me! Lookit me! I'm giving Beyoncé a run for her money! I've got a botched-up nose like my brother! My exposed boob at the Superbowl didn't go over well like I thought it would!"
Usually she looks great, but that photo is na-ha-hasty. She looks like a second-rate tranny on Sunday morning after the Peach Schnappes has run out.
Posted by: Jenn F. | October 04, 2006 at 08:00 AM
HAHA, 14, I love the sidetext. Brilliant!
P.S. You should come out with your own magazine, where you tell it like it is, and show it like it is! We are sick of airbrushed, over-done, fake looking celebs who don't even look nearly like they do without photoshop!
Posted by: HELENA | October 04, 2006 at 11:00 AM
I agree she looks like a two-bit, grotesque, plasticized tranny. Oh, and she also looks that way on the cover of W. And that ghastly hair... Yucky.
Posted by: Worker B...itch | October 04, 2006 at 02:07 PM
Oh man, Jenn F. can read my mind!!! I have always thought Janet was bizarre and unsexy and I'm grateful to the 'shoppers at W to emphasize the fug for all to see.
Posted by: penname | October 04, 2006 at 02:39 PM
she looks like the picture was snapped just as a clear glass door swung by and smacked her, smooshing her face and boobs in a weird way.
Posted by: Javelin | October 04, 2006 at 08:24 PM
Yikes, dare I say woof woof.
Posted by: Damien | October 05, 2006 at 04:31 PM
I am so motherfucking sick of the goddamn Jackson family and its macabre frankenstein makeovers, blah blah blah.... Is there a fucking plastic surgeon in Hollywood who specializes in making black people look like ET or something? She looks like a mixture of Star Jones and Michael. Latoya and Michael are the same person. Janet put 2 softballs underneath the skin on her chest, set them on a tray, and then added material.
Posted by: Demon Kitty | October 05, 2006 at 05:36 PM
OH MY GOD. What happened at W to let such a horrible cover be published? Seriously, this picture is really scary.
She really looks like an alien. 14, you forgot to draw her bionic star nipple!!!
She also does look like her brother. My flatmate told me it's because they have the same surgeon.
Let's make a little reference to the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" (that she could have starred as Frank): "Dammit, Janet!"
Posted by: Jujupiter | October 06, 2006 at 04:03 AM
Overall I think the cover is pretty striking considering it features a celebrity that has been on the cover of atleast 3 other mags in the same month. Too bad she's not a looker.
Posted by: Magaholic | October 08, 2006 at 01:13 PM
Damn shame. She went from totally hot to a wax figurine. Her face is so uncomfortable to look at, it just breaks my heart. I'm just glad they Photoshopped away that scary ass vein on her forehead EEWWWWW!
Posted by: Julia_Claudine_Deveraux | October 09, 2006 at 06:44 AM
OMG!!!! All this time I thought I was the only person who noticed Janet is a FREAK. I laughed so hard at the fingers that I nearly peed my pants. Good job depicting the true Janet Jackson 14.
Posted by: julie | October 12, 2006 at 01:38 PM
LOL this is really funny. I have a cocker spanial by the way.....
Posted by: Long Island Irish | October 15, 2006 at 09:35 PM
Great - I saw this awful cover of JJ last week w/my 11 yr. old granddaughter - we both cracked. I thought whatever happened to poor JJ's face - now I see it's the very talented artists at W. Your pix is way, way more attractive ( the 2nd one).
Posted by: East Side | October 16, 2006 at 07:20 PM