What's That Smell?
Gallery of the Absurd is pleased to announce the first in our series of "Celebrity Stench: The Glut of Celebrity Perfumes." Did you know that celebrity fragrances represent the fastest growing segment of the perfume market? Everyone from Lindsay Lohan, Posh and Becks, to Marilyn Manson has or is planning to launch yet another fragrance to pollute the air. Racing to cash in on his dwindling "firecrotch" fame, Brandon Davis has announced his new fragrance, Huile de Firecrotch. This oil-based perfume features top notes of dusty oil fields, profuse sweat and greasy In-n-Out burgers and finishes with a faint odor of Paris Hilton. Available now at Wal-Mart, but like most celebrity fragrances, you might just be able to find Huile de Firecrotch clogging up trash piles and landfills across the country. Medium: Ink on paper, digital color.
Is that a firey crotch at the top of that glittery oil rig?
Even If I smelled like a dead body I wouldn't wear anything with his name or likeness on it. Hehehehe.
Posted by: DonnaJEM | September 25, 2006 at 12:32 PM
Hey this is great! I heard this morning on the radio that Nicky Hilton's boyfriend(from Entourage) punched him in the face at a soiree, becasue he was running his mouth again! Ya hoo, that was the best news I heard all weekend! I hope he ran out of the party crying like the spoiled oily brat he is!
Posted by: heather | September 25, 2006 at 01:19 PM
You know, that would probably go over big here in Calgary, what with all the oil companies and beige-haired office bimbos reeking of perfume on the LRT in the morning.
Posted by: Cyclops Kitten Natividad | September 25, 2006 at 02:04 PM
LOL! Wonder how much it will retail for? $1.99? This probably would be popular with oil rig workers!
Posted by: Texas | September 25, 2006 at 03:39 PM
Beautifully done, 14. Brandon Davis is such a greasy, doughy slimebucket. The insanely wealthy people of Western civilization need to remember the culture of vulgar excess that toppled the aristocracy in France all those years ago. In short, the self-anointed "elite" in our country need to lock their vapid offspring away in institutions - lest the plebs become restive.
Posted by: phlegmfatale | September 25, 2006 at 05:14 PM
Anyone ever notice that he resembles Elvis? Not the hot, young Elvis but the fat, bloated, stoned out of his mind in a rhinestone cape Elvis. Or is it just me???
Good job 14. I can smell his greasy, sweaty stench from here.
Posted by: Crees_dahl | September 25, 2006 at 06:03 PM
I can almost smell the greasy stench of Brandon through the monitor. Icky!
Seriously thanks, 14! Why is it celebrities assume we wanna stink like them?
Posted by: Morrigan | September 26, 2006 at 09:22 AM
While reading the advertisement, I thought I saw his sweat dripping out of the corner of my eye. You are truly an arteeeest!
Posted by: Candice | September 26, 2006 at 01:23 PM
Ach, Mensch!!! I can smell his sweaty sebum fonk from here! Ugh! He probably doesn't bathe after he bumps uglies with Paris! Ew! Once again, thank God the toilet isn't far from the computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | September 26, 2006 at 06:09 PM
hahhahahahaaaa!!!
i love this. xD
Posted by: licoricepirate | September 26, 2006 at 08:00 PM
I was at an Emmy "gifting suite" this year and Paris Hilton had a booth set up to give away her odor, I mean her scent. Of course she wasn't actually there; a bunch of her lackeys were. No one wanted to actually take the perfume. It was sort of pathetic. I imagine the bottles will be either showing up on eBay or will be gag gifts this Christmas. Damn, 14. Now you know what I am getting you.
For the record, the hot item was not the Paris perfume -- it was the Dirt Devil cone-shaped handheld vacuum. Oh, and the Just in Case condom holder.
Posted by: Scout Finch | September 27, 2006 at 10:55 AM
Oh, this is just beautiful satire. You have a wonderful future as a pop culture commentator through your art.
Posted by: Red OnTheHead | September 27, 2006 at 11:47 AM
Ewww! I hate this guy I really hope he gets an STD from Paris!
Posted by: Long Island Irish | September 27, 2006 at 12:02 PM
You're on to something, 14. All Brandon has to do is squeeze out sections of his hair and there you have it-- oil, sweat, and the lingering smell of fast food and paris hilton.
BTW, what's up with desperate housewives putting out a perfume? does anyone really wanna be like "oh, yeah i'm wearing the desperate housewives perfume! it's called "soccer mom" and it's totally classy."
Posted by: Javelin | September 27, 2006 at 04:59 PM
Always so apt. This is perfect & hilarious.
Posted by: ambika | September 28, 2006 at 12:39 PM
Damn can't wait for the magazine samples, though one would have to think of an excuse for rubbing a magazine against ones nether region.
Posted by: Damien | September 28, 2006 at 06:58 PM
I bet he's got his own little oily crabby.
Posted by: Jenn F. | September 30, 2006 at 05:26 PM
he makes me retch; i think you went easy on the grease
Posted by: cherise | October 01, 2006 at 08:41 AM