The Prison Art of Katie Holmes

Did anyone catch the heartfelt editorial cartoon Lindsay Lohan's father sketched while sitting in jail? Click here to view it so that you may understand the importance of the editorial cartoon we've posted below. As we were chuckling over Defamer's revised version of the Lohan cartoon, our assistant burst into our plush office and handed us a mysterious hand-delivered letter marked "urgent". We hastily tore it open and were shocked to discover a hand-written note from Katie Holmes! "Please publish this editorial cartoon on Gallery of the Absurd so the public will be aware of my plight. I have no contact with the outside world and am being held prisoner in Tom's gilded brainwash palace. I've sketched this cartoon as a final and desperate cry for help!"

(click to engorge...uh, I mean enlarge)

Poor Katie has portrayed herself as being ruthlessly torn from her family. A bat wielding Tom Cruise battles Katie's father while Xenu and the Scientologists restrain her distraught mother. Sumner Redstone looms ominously in the sky above while baby Suri seems to have been abandoned on the steps of the Scientology Center. I had no idea Katie could draw so well! If she ever manages to escape from Tom's iron grip, she could make a nice little art career for herself.

Comments

[d. c.]

Brillant..! Save Katie and Suri! I am still grinning, feeling Karma justice has been served.. but slightly sad, that brainwashed Tom has not changed or regrets his raving opinions and hack-eyed theories; until he gets crushed by a boulder the size of a diesel truck., and the tiny voices allow him to actually think and speak.

[Andrea]

Wow, I had not seen Lindsay Lohan's Dad's cartoon. What a poor, deluded man. Do you think he really drew it himself?
I am sorry, no lawyer with horns could put you in a jail, and take your kid away from you, physically, or esPECially emotionally, if you were a decent person. And an indecent person only changes his tunes when he is forced to pay some serious consequences. Kind of a catch-22, there! But this is great. You are so clever and quick, to parody that with the Tom Crooze latest fiasco. I laughed out loud, my God. Those feet on Katie, the kabuki-shoes on Tom, the Dorothy-esque victim ness of the windswept little bride-to-(flee?) I should be doing all sorts of other stuff but I hadda write this cuz that is just TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!

[24]

You are ruthless and I LOVE IT!!
Keep on keeping on. LOL

[Morrigan]

Ack! I was planning on writing to see if you were going to have your own take on the Lohan pic.

As usual, I'm not disappointed... Hilarious!!!

[Noelegy]

You have a true gift for caricature. Even without the captions, I could tell whom the sweaty little gnome on the left is supposed to be.

[Susan]

FANTASTIC! Love Tom's lifts and Sumner's face. You made me laugh out loud again! Thanks!

[Action]

I was about to ask, "Where's Suri?" But nope, you didn't miss a beat! Great and thoughtful work!

How are you feeling?

[DonnaJEM]

Hehehehehehe, I love how poor Katies feet are wonky/crazy even through her little Mary Jane's.
Really great, as usual

[krapo]

How gifted you are. Love the crazy finger on Redstone. You captured her captivity flawlessly. You really get it. Girl, you always make me laugh. LMAO.

[Geoff]

Sumner bears an eerie resemblance to L. Ron... up in the sky, with his bony death fingers and all. NYTimes has an article on Tom today, saying his star is plummeting because he's just too weird.

[Jackie Danicki]

You are a genius. Why haven't one of the entertainment magazines started running your stuff in every issue?

[Bunny]

That is f'n hilarious!!! thanks for the link to Lindsey's Dads cartoon - I would have probably thought it was just as funny without it though - where is Suri anyway? - hopelly she isnt being probed with a cattle prod by creepy little Star Jone's look alikes - now thats a painting idea!!

[Demon Kitty]

It's brilliant! Michael Lohan and Tom Cruise are two deranged motherfuckers.

[Bjorn]

It must be said that Lindsay Lohan's dad has some skills with the pen.

[april]

I am always amazed at your brilliance. Keep up the good work.

[devin]

this is so funny!! best depiction yet of the plight of Katie!

[Lori]

Ya know, Cruise is insane: who's worse, the freak, or the jerk who followed him?

[Damien Morgan]

Whoa I'm gonna have a brokeback moment and put my butt on the line for Linsays daddy, well for his ability to illustrate anyway - the message sucked but the dudes got skill.

I guess Toms idea for a Top Gun remake where Xenu attacks earth, did'nt quite make the good folk at Paramount all that happy.

[kittenpants]

Stephen Dorff gets in on the action:
http://www.junkiness.com/?p=563

[Demon Kitty]

I just had to come back and say that Defamer featured your brilliant piece 14! I also have to say that Brandon Davis and Paris Hilton are fucking, according to Hollywood Rag. Sewage will come up out of the ground, toilets will explode, sewage treatment plants will explode, dung will harden and become unremovable, the entire population will begin to vomit uncontrollably and have diarreah simultaneouslt(sp?) every time those two fuck.

So Much Love,
Demon Kitty

[JV]

Rescue Katie and Suri! I think Tom have been hearing whispering voices lately...

[Texas]

Loved it!
Oh I read new Star magazine and you art is in int and it said Hot #4 and its your ART! Congrats again!!!!

[alexi]

Did you happen to see the new reasoning for Suri's lack of appearance? According to Star Magazine, it's due to a port wine birthmark on her face. I don't know why I'm telling you this; I'm sure you're one step ahead of me.

Good work, as usual.

[Suezanne]

What a comedic rendition of the whole TomKat and Paramount affair. The only thing I dont like is the portraying of Xemu being on side with scientologists. Kudo's for Xemus charm bracelet! HAIL XEMU!

[Candice]

*sigh* can we be best friends? You're my hero.

[Chansmom]

Poor, Tom. That idiot has no one to blame but himself. It's one thing to have a pet cause, but he's just plain crazy to think that the average person is going to buy into that bull he spews. Right.

Sounds to me as though Tom's higher level in his so-called religion has made him crazier than a bed bug. Body Thetans, my ass.

[Viper Tetsu]

Is there ANY artist's style that you can't grab, bounce, mold, and shape like putty into satiric brilliance--even some insane jailbird's incoherent scribblings? Didn't think so.

With an oval and a few well-placed lines and curves you've captured The Grinner in all his dubious glory yet again. One look at this drawing and I can hear him chattering in a high-pitched voice like some noisome insect from a Looney Tunes short. Right the hell on.

[Wisa]

I'll admit, I once thought Katie was ok, about 4 years ago. But recently while waiting to be xrayed for a mammogram (oh joy). The doctors office had a stack of Family Circle type mags to choose some "reading" material from. TomCrazedCat was on a June cover and ofcourse, they had me from "Hello". Inside the mag, madman Tom explained himself non-apolegetically, though there was a lil bit of tip-toeing through the broken Brooke tulips. Towards the end of the interview, in walks Katie (very pregnant as noted by the writer) and her first words to Tom were "I LOVE YOU" to which he replied "I LOVE YOU". The writer reported this same exchange repeated itself more than a few times. Tom & Katie do seem to be on a reaasurance aka brainwashing to assure themselves on being in love. Could there possibly be anyway of deprogramming themselves? These people need help.

[Andrea]

yeah, I know, those articles and interviews where Tom and Katie are so gushily in loooove make me wonder, DON'T THEY REALIZE HOW CONTRIVED THEY LOOK???? It is so insulting to anyone that has ever been in an adult (read: real,flawed) relationship. He went on Ellen Degeneres and acted so low key and normal, like damage control, only a few months ago. No couch jumping there, bud. But if you look at other couples in the media, they aren't giving eachother big, ownership-y embraces while turning to face the camera, they seem more aggravated at the intrusion. Tom, on the other hand, always looks like he has found his fair, blushing maiden,(EVERY TIME THE CAMERA CATCHES THEM) and wants to ravage her, but, to melt at the sight of her, first. What the hay kind of religion is this scientology, anyway? Liars' Club?
Make them go away. I am sick of their bullshit and thinking we are buyin' it.
Thank you, for letting me share.
xo

[MarchDancer]

At the request of so many before me, that I will now share: Could this possibly be the last I will hear of Tom and Katie and poor baby Sari? She's the only one I feel sorry for. They can choose to be foolish. She can't choose her parents (although don't the Scientologists think that babies do choose their parents?). I sure didn't choose mine!

[Long Island Irish]

Okay this is really funny but I have to wonder about Suri. I mean it's just a little too weird that we haven't seen her yet....

Dear brilliant caricaturist behind gallery of the obsurd: I have really enjoyed a lot of your visual work, which is why Im a bit dissapointed that the captions and text seem to get longer every day. Not to say that you arent allowed to write. What I am saying is that good images, especially charactures, are stronger than words. As good as you are, you dont need to try to be a blogger; it just takes away from the images.
Sincerely and with good intentions,
A