Gallery of the Absurd

If Lautrec Had Painted Keira Knightley

French Post-Impressionist painter Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec was fond of capturing the lively images of decadent Parisian nightlife during the late 19th-century. Much of his inspiration was found inside the numerous nightclubs, cabarets, circuses and brothels in the bohemian Montmartre section of Paris. Some of my favorite works are the advertising posters he created for various Montmartre performers such as Yvette Guilbert, Jane Avril and Aristide Bruant. No doubt Lautrec would recoil in horror over what passes as creative decadence in much of modern day Hollywood, but I think he might have enjoyed painting the very skeletal and curiously grimacing Keira Frightly Knightley sauntering down the red carpet. As I mentioned, Lautrec found inspiration in circus performances...a concept not much different from red carpet events. Medium: gouache on paper.

movie STAR vs STAR magazine

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The public feud between Reese Witherspoon and Star is exemplary in exposing the fragile dynamic of tabloid/celebrity interdependence. They rely on each other for publicity and profit, but sometimes the game turns nasty. About a month ago, Star ran photos of Reese while pointing out her slightly protruding belly. If you're a woman living in Hollywood and your abs show the slightest bit of "pouch", then speculative fervor ignites over your pregnancy status. The feud started when Reese layed eyes upon herself on the cover of Star with the blaring headline BABY #3! She immediately went livid and because she claims she's not pregnant, informed the magazine of her planned lawsuit against them. Now here's where it gets interesting. Star responds to the lawsuit by running a very unflattering photo of a bikini-wearing Reese on the beach, along with the headline, "SHE'S NOT PREGNANT, IT'S BLOAT!!" If that wasn't enough humilation for her, they also included an inset photo of Reese's face, and she looks like some sort of melting swamp creature. I haven't read anything about the lawsuit since Star ran the "retraction", but I hope there's a scathing update in a future issue. Medium: Ink on paper, digital color.

UPDATE: Another movie star vs Star magazine fiasco! This time the victim is Shannen Doherty.

Paris Hilton is NOT a Slut

In this heart wrenching interview by TMZ's Harvey Levin, Paris Hilton emotionally declares she isn't a slut. Come on everyone, just because Paris is always spreading her legs, showing the world she doesn't wear underwear and dancing on tables DOES NOT mean she's a slut. She writhes and grunts while singing Happy Birthday to Hugh Hefner because she is a singer, okay? She writhes and grunts while biting a big juicy hamburger because she's a brand and a model, okay? Paris is a serious actress, didn't any of you people see House of Wax?!?! Paris even wrote a thought-provoking book based on exhaustive research about....herself. You may refer to Ms. Hilton as "American Royalty" and you may stand in awe at her self-proclaimed status of "Iconic Blonde", but don't you dare call her a slut. It hurts her feelings. Medium: Ink, acrylic on page from Doctor Doolittle's Post Office. Latin phrase by Michael K.

Oh, and one more interview! This one is more about art and less about celebrity. The Extra Finger interviews emerging artists from around the world and we are honored to be included. Read it here.

Devious Yet Delicious Tabloid Tactics

A ubiquitous feature in most all the gossip tabloids is a page of quotes uttered by various celebs. Most the quotes are laughable. A photo of a sickly skeletal starlet will appear next to the wisdom she dished out the press, "I'm not anorexic, I eat junk food all the time and never work out. I'm naturally thin." Sometimes it appears the editors enjoy having a little fun with this feature. InTouch magazine recently printed this quote by Cameron Diaz. Was it a calculated decision to find the greasiest photo ever taken of Ms. Diaz and then place it next to her quote? Hmmmm, I wonder.

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Many thanks to the Courier-Journal for the ruthless interrogation. Read the article here.

Jude Law Stuffs...

..an entire vanilla ice cream cone into his mouth!

I know this because the paparazzi captured him in mid-stuff and then sold the photo to Star magazine. I think they put it in the Stars: Are They Normal or Not feature, but I'm unsure whether it's normal or not because I painted over the answer to the burning question. Medium: (above) acrylic on paper, (below) collage, acrylic on torn out page from Star magazine mounted on board.

Yes, yes...another interview. This one appears in Canada's media and pop culture magazine, Pop Journalism. Oh, how I love Canadians!

Mickey's Gravity Defying Pompadour

Mickey Rourke appeared recently in Star magazine's Stars: Are They NORMAL or NOT feature. From what I gathered, it's NORMAL for Nicole Richie to order a few In-N-Out burgers from the drive-thru, it's NORMAL for Gavin Rossdale to buy vegetables from a farmers' market, and it's NORMAL for Jake Gyllenhaal to read a newspaper. However, it is NOT NORMAL for Mickey Rourke to have a pompadour. They said Mickey was "sporting a greased-up pompadour 'do" along side a photo of his skyscraping swirling mass of hair. I hope Mickey stays NOT NORMAL because that's how I like him. No one else in Hollywood can pull off a pompadour the way he does. Medium: Ink on paper, photoshop.