Gallery of the Absurd

What If.....

For months the world has been anticipating the arrival of the Brangelina baby. Tabloids and bloggers have been speculating that this baby is destined to be the Most Beautiful Child Ever. New York Magazine ruffled feathers when stating "Not since Jesus has a baby been so eagerly anticipated." What I'd like to speculate is.....what if the offspring of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt isn't as stunningly gorgeous as everyone assumes? What if she's just a regular looking baby....maybe even a little goofy looking? It could happen! Just one look at the adorable baby Kevin Federline was able to produce for Britney Spears shows just how unpredictable the genetic lottery can be. Congratulations to the growing Jolie-Pitt clan. We're happy to learn that little Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt has arrived healthy and without complication. Despite my contrary speculation, there's a high likelihood this kid is going to be a looker. Medium: Acrylic and gouache on board.

A Lot of Mileage From a Bag of Cheetos

When I saw my Cheetos Britney illustration in Star magazine's Best & Worst Beach Bodies issue, I was thrilled it was located just a few pages away from the photo of flabby Richard Gere as "Worst Body" (they referred to him as "American Jiggle-O"!!). Pictured here is the page I tore out and made into a painting. Also, a thank you to the New York Post for writing a small feature about Gallery of the Absurd. Medium: Page torn from Star magazine, acrylic, collage.

High School Textbooks of the Future?

Randomly scattered on the floor of my art studio was an anatomy book, a page torn from Star magazine showing a "pin-thin" Nicole Richie, and a newspaper article about the decline of the American public school system. At that moment, I had a nightmarish vision...
What if the obsession with celebrity continues to infiltrate our culture? Will it trickle into our schools? Will celebrities hire themselves out to appear in the pages of textbooks so that kids will be interested in study? Will corporate sponsorship and product placement appear in the pages of algebra, biology and history textbooks? If so, this is how I imagine a page from a high school Fundamental Anatomy 101 textbook would look like.
Medium: Pen and ink, digital color and text

Brandon Davis Spews

One of the first bits of gossip I saw this morning was the video of greasy oil fortune heir, Brandon Davis on a night out with self-absorbed hotel heiress and self-proclaimed "American Royalty" Paris Hilton.  In the video, Brandon exposes his crass vulgarity, lack of proper upbringing, and stunted maturity as he loudly shouts insults about Lindsay Lohan to a group of paparazzi. The Royal Highness, Paris Hilton cackles uncontrollably as Brandon makes an absolute ass of himself by referring to Lohan as a "fire crotch" and worse.  I know they must think of themselves as privileged young Hollywood elite, but what they really come across as is spoiled toddlers fighting in a school yard sandbox.  Or maybe monkeys flinging poo at each other in a filthy Hollywood zoo.

Celebrity Optical Illusions - Ashlee Simpson

While on vacation, I was thumbing through a Star magazine and came across an article speculating whether or not Ashlee Simpson had undergone a nose job.  Side by side photos compared the bumpy "before" nose with a slightly less bumpy "after" nose.  I looked hard, but couldn't really tell the difference. I did however, notice her chin. I've never been able to pinpoint exactly what Ashlee Simpson reminds me of until I picked up a book about optical illusions and saw the classic Young Girl - Old Woman Illusion. 

Paris Hilton as a Proboscis Monkey

When ANIMAL magazine asked Michael K and I to come up with celebrity animals, we immediately noticed how much Paris Hilton resembles a proboscis monkey. Thing is, we found an even better animal to represent Paris....but it's a secret. You have to wait until ANIMAL no. 7 comes out to see it. For now, enjoy Paris as a primate. Proboscis monkeys are endangered, but Paris Hilton types seem to be flourishing. I wish it were the other way around. Medium: Ink, acrylic, burnt sage leaves on paper. Latin phrase by Michael K.