The Sexiest Man in Hollywood

A few weeks ago, Star magazine ran a large photo of George Clooney stuffing a huge hotdog in his mouth.  I wasn't planning on purchasing the magazine, but when I saw the photo, I had no other choice but to buy it. They really should have put this photo on the cover, sales would have skyrocketed. Medium: mixed media collage.

This is a comic I drew a few years ago and after looking at the Handsome George Clooney photo above, I thought it was relevant to post.  Look, I'm not saying ALL guys eat like this, I just happened to witness this sort of behavior in the course of a single day (and yes, that's Jeff Polage in the first panel). I've enjoyed many male dining companions who were well-mannered gentlemen...but they don't make as funny a comic strip as the sloppy guys do.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of eating, don't miss this site devoted to photos of celebrities eating. Why it exists, I can't explain.

Comments

[Long Island Irish]

You really wonder where some of these websites come from....

[TheIdleReceptionist]

I love it! Even eating a hotdog (Not overtly sexual AT ALL) The Cloonster is hot!

Can you have Jeff Polage immitate each of the Oh-So-True male eating pix?

Prease?

[DonnaJEM]

Bwaaaaahhhhhhhaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha!!!!!,........ and totally gross at the same time.

[Rix]

Ah..there have been times when I have been busy stuffing my face regardless of female company wearing clearly disgusted look. accurate depiction tho :)

[Morrigan]

This is so true. Boys turn into rampaging jungle beasts when they eat.

[Cyclops Kitten Natividad]

Am I bad? I still love Clooney. In very large part because the dude seems like he's got a pretty good sense of humor, which a lot of these movie stars do NOT.

Fantastic illustration though, 14.

[Ilsa]

That picture of Clooney stuffing that hotdog into his pietrap is sheer sexuality!! The comic strip made me laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes while trying to conduct a business call. :D

[dave]

I don't understand.

How do you eat?

If you're saying you eat with a knife and fork all the time then you clearly don't understand having to eat on the run.

you probably don't eat hotdogs or pizza and you probably try to look absolutely perfect while you are eating pizza with a fork.

you come off as a total snob.

just my input

advice: people will like you more if you don't act like you are the queen of etiquette.

i'm sure this won't be posted because it makes you look lame

[14]

How do I eat?
Photosynthesis.

People will like me more if I don't act like I'm the Queen of Etiquette?
You have destroyed my dreams of becoming the next Miss Manners!! Oh the pain...the PAIN of your cruel words is too much to take! You have destroyed me, destroyed my ambition....destroyed my very soul.

Now the world knows what an elitist I am. You have exposed me.

I am ruined.

14

who cares he's still hot.

You know I love your blog, but this has got to be one of the stupidest post ever. Who cares how this man eats? So he's inhaling a hot dog so what. Like everyone's done this. Dude is still hot and can eat like a pig with me anytime.

[14]

obviously someone cares how Clooney eats, or else this photo wouldn't have been printed in so many tabloids.

If he tried to kiss me after inhaling his Dog of Hotness, I would let him.

[Trina]

Yeah 14, u R a snob! I agree! Giv the guy a break! Like U R so purfict! OMG!

[Pixess]

Whatever, Trina, go screw yourself! This is called humour. You obviously don't get it. So go away and have fun with that stick up your ass.

[Joanie]

I agree, Morrigan, boys are sick when they eat! They need to learn some mannners. Behave around the ladies, pleese! Barf!

[Dave Hater]

A lot of men eat like pigs. And yet...women still breed with them. So who is the stupid sex?

PS. I hate the name "Dave". Only asshats are named "Dave". Seriously. I have never met a decent human named Dave. I'm just saying.

[Dan]

I call my older brother Dave. He's a pretty nice guy. Just sayin'

[Pete]

Hey 14

Don't listen to that Dave guy. This has to be the most fascinating, enlightening artwork you have EVER created. I have been wondering for years, filled with powerfull longing and anxiety, if ANYONE would ever show me what George Clooney looks like cramming a hotdog into his gaping maw - NOW I KNOW!
Thanks also for turning me on to the 'celebrities eating' web site! It's one more bit celebriliciousness to fill the emptiness in my boring, ordinary life.
You know what would be even better than celebrities eating? Celebrities POOPING! I mean, do they do it like ordinary folk like me, or do they sit upon a solid gold throne, waited on by several attendants? Has George Clooney ever taken a dump in the woods? Has Anjolina Jolie? Inquiring minds want to know.

[Spencer]

U R just jealous of george so U make fun of him becuz U can't have him. You a probably an ugly fat lesbo.

[Dave Hater]

I don't know if George Clooney has ever pooped in the woods (what, is he the Pope?) but I heard he pooped on Angelina Jolie once. Just sayin'.

[Chansmom]

There is something disturbing about that hotdog George Clooney is eating. Ewwww. And I like hotdogs, darnit! I may never eat one again.

As usual, you make me laugh! Hope the move went well for you! I'll send pictures of my kitties to you soon.

[Marie]

As much I as love Clooney, he deserves some ribbing. Too much smoke has been blown up his arse over the past several months. Time to come down to earth, Clooney.

As this very detailed drawing reveals, you are all too human, Georgie. Aye yi yi

"Gorge Clooney" (or did someone say that already?)

[Jolene]

You can take the boy out of Covington, but...

Truth be told, if he eats his food with that kind of vigor, one can only hope that he's that voracious in other aspects of his life... IF ya know what I mean... wink wink...

[tricia]

Oh, come on, doesn't anyone here ever eat like that? No...?

But I'd hate to have a picture taken, it really does look gross! even George looks awful, and that humanizes him.

[Bunny]

What contoversy!!! Who would have thunk that such sparks could fly over a pic of Cloonoy blowing a dog?????? OOOOps did I say blowing?

[Nia]

Damn. Ever since I've seen that art all I've been able to think of is
Mmmmmm..... Hotdog...with...mustard....and ketchup...and Clooney...

Also - celebrities eating!
Photographic proof that Nicole Richie does actually eat!
Or at least lick things tentatively.

[josh]

The fact that the guy eats hot dogs makes me like him even more.

[Camel]

Brokeback Clooney

[DonnaJEM]

14 are you dying laughing at these comments?!? I certainly am! These are probably the funniest ones on your site so far.
Dave Hater made me spew iced tea out my nose, then I had a choking/laughing fit for 10 minutes!!!

[14]

yes! I love all my comments, mean or nice.

[K]

I like the way 14 curled Clooney's lips around the weiner. Also the moovles for Jeff's non-dog hand really add to the frenetic feeling of his dog eating. Like he's soo excited and can't wait to scarf that dog down that it makes him shake.

[Dave Hater]

I apologize, DonnaJEM. Iced tea is the Devil's Juice! It can pack a fierce sting when traveling the wrong way.

I bet Clooney drinks it. While he's shoveling hotdogs into his maw. And watching reruns of his dad hosting movies on AMC. "Fuck you, Dad!" he cries, with mustard dripping on his Armani. "That was so NOT Bogart's best movie! Give it up, old man!"

[demarriob]

how'd they know that we eat like that. hey! where's the mustard?

[Damien]

Hey guys are functional eaters, goes back to the caveman days (ahhh yeah that takes me back).
Man hunt, man kill, man eat quick or be eaten. Guess Georgies just a caveman at heart.

[Dave Hater]

Hey Spencer!
For someone named after a cheap novelties company, you sure are quick to judge! Is your middle name DAVE, by chance?!

14 isn't an "ugly fat lesbo" because she can't have George Clooney. She HAD George Clooney, dude. She has moved on!
George is possibly an ugly fat lesbo though, cuz when he's not chompin' dogs his fave food (or so I've been told) is FISH TACOS.
Just sayin'.

[Rix]

Ppl, ppl, can't we take a joke anymore...i think clooney is a gr8 actor, but cmon, satirizing celebs is a birth-right. also everyone of us doesnt look picture perfect all the time...big deal!

[Demon Kitty]

Jesus fucking hell man! I can't believe these people who post this chastising bullshit because somebody drew a picture of George Clooney giving head to a hot dog! Damn!

Jesus penis, motherfuck!!! You people are as consequential to George Clooney as smegma! Get a fucking life and pull that goddamn rod out of your colon! You sound like middle school children who are defending their best friend or pet.

One day I woke up and I realized that I would never be able to "have" George Clooney. I decided I wouldn't be caught dead eating a hot dog, and I began to use a fork when eating EVERTHING especially pizza. Vagina, however was an exception.

Demon Kitty

[This is so Punk]

Chomp, Chomp, Chomp....

I love me some George Clooney, yet that has to be the gayest image that ever gayed! Love it!

[the yelling teller]

What's wrong with being an ugly fat lesbo?:) Nothing wrong with being ugly or fat or lesbian! Anyways, it amazes me that people still don't understand that your art has nothing to do with you hating or being jealous of celebrities. Somehow I think Clooney would appreciate your humor more than someone trying to weakly defend him for being fabulous.

[nluvwjeff]

That hotdog that Clooney is chowing down on looks suspiciously like a penis...LOL.
Love the site 14!! Great stuff!!!

[14]

George ended our torrid and passionate affair after I got too clingy. "George! I must be your wife! Let's get married...NOW!!" The very second I uttered those fateful words, George ran out the door, never to be seen again.

I tried to lure him back by sending sexy notes attached to packages of the finest hotdogs, but he will have no part of me.

I've moved past it now.

14

[Moonmaid]

Years ago, when I was first dating this guy, we met up for our date in the middle of the city. He was chewing up the remnants of a Sabaret hotdog. "Sorry, I just got hungry," he said. His breath smelled foul. I turned my head when he went to kiss me. Yuck! Needles to say, the relationship did not last long.

Chomping on hotdogs is not sexy, guys. And street hotdogs, man that's the worst!

I think George Clooney would enjoy this immensely, though. Maybe you'll get him back yet, 14!

[Moonmaid]

Oh yes, and Drunken Stupor Pizza eating is familiar to anyone who has dated a musician.

[Cyclops Kitten Natividad]

Oh. My. God.
My husband (who is a musician) is upstairs RIGHT NOW eating pizza. He's not in a drunken stupor though, but it's a very common complaint in band wives. You nailed it, Moonmaid.

[Laura]

That cartoon cracked me up so badly, I literally choked on my cereal (which I had been eating in a dainty manner).

[14]

I am thrilled to reveal that the model for "Drunken Stupor Pizza" is indeed a musician! Excellent observation.

14

[pawleysgirl]

Ohhhh...I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner...

[Georgia]

I have a friend who swears that messy eaters make great lovers. I have never been able to find out because I can't make it past dinner. Maybe if it was George Clooney...

[Ian J Cottee]

It seems to me that your work pokes fun at the famous for being 'unreal' but this is a case of somebody just being real. Yet you poke fun at them. Damned if you and damned if you don't if you ask me.