The First Official Portrait of TomRat
This is a sneak preview of the "Celebrity Animals" project that Dlisted and Gallery of the Absurd collaborated on with ANIMAL magazine. ANIMAL challenged us to transform today's most popular tabloid celebrities into animals and you can see them all in the upcoming issue #7 due out in early June. See Paris, Nicole, Brangelina, Jessica, and Lindsay as you've never seen them before!
Pictured above is Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, aka TomRat, posing with their new baby girl. We wish them warm congratulations on their reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard new addition to the family. Medium: Acrylic, ink and coffee on gorgeous paper I found at a garage sale with just a splash of digital enhancement.
Oh my God. That is perfect.
Posted by: Andrea | April 19, 2006 at 01:38 PM
just when I thought you couldn't out do yourself, you pull a rat out of your...
You absolutely nailed it with this one. The facial expressions alone are worth their weight in cheese!
Posted by: mediabrain | April 19, 2006 at 01:51 PM
Love the teeth! It makes the whole picture. That and the cork shoes that Tom is wearing.
Posted by: This is so Punk | April 19, 2006 at 02:16 PM
Oh, F***. That is messed up. I love it!!
Posted by: | April 19, 2006 at 02:32 PM
Wow, you remembered Katie's wonky feet from those photos of summer '05. I wonder if you chose to do the feet and not the cold sore or if you thought doing both would be overkill? I also enjoy the implications of the family portrait being on a stage.
Posted by: Kathy | April 19, 2006 at 02:48 PM
hey! i have to object! i have pet rats, and they are sweet, wonderful animals. they should in no way be insulted by being associated with that freak tom cruise and his stepford wife.
aside from that complaint, i love your site and your art.
Posted by: Kristen from MA | April 19, 2006 at 03:36 PM
damn. The BABY tomrat.
Harsh.
But genius.
Posted by: Elaine | April 19, 2006 at 03:52 PM
third! sweet pic
Posted by: whatever | April 19, 2006 at 04:32 PM
Great illo! This is scary, but makes perfect sense. After hearing that Tom is going to dine on Katie's placenta, I see him more as a rat than a human. I wonder if L. Ron Hubbard snuck placenta recipes into the Dianetics fine print? Makes you wonder.
Posted by: Trevor Pitt | April 19, 2006 at 04:42 PM
Their little rat baby looks adorable. But it also looks dead. It probably wishes it were.
Posted by: Jessica Menn | April 19, 2006 at 04:57 PM
LOL the poor little baby! And the platform shoes! And Katie's face! It's all priceless!
Posted by: Long Island Irish | April 19, 2006 at 05:18 PM
the big eyes are the best part. keep outdoing yourself.
Posted by: captainobvious | April 19, 2006 at 05:30 PM
That, my dear, is pure genius that can only be the product of an insanely talented woman with a great dope dealer. Edgar Allen Poe would've gotten a big kick out of you.
Posted by: Scout Finch | April 19, 2006 at 06:00 PM
I love the L. Ron Hubbard portrait at the top. If the kid starts wearing ascot ties at an early age, we'll know it's the reincarnation of L Ron.
Posted by: The Shaman | April 19, 2006 at 06:04 PM
Creepy...
Posted by: James | April 19, 2006 at 06:16 PM
This is "pee in the pants" funny!!!
Posted by: christi | April 19, 2006 at 06:17 PM
OMG! You are killin me 14! I loooove the rat faces, and rat teeth and the lil rat baby and the freaking cork shoes!!!
Your best work yet!!!
Posted by: Crees_Dahl | April 19, 2006 at 07:59 PM
I am moved beyond words. I just am so impressed!
Your are a genius!
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | April 19, 2006 at 08:06 PM
The two of them just get more and more disturbing. I fear for their child.
Posted by: Sassy | April 20, 2006 at 02:39 AM
Love the pink velvet curtain!
Posted by: | April 20, 2006 at 03:47 AM
Why does Tom Cruise have to look so cute in that portrait...
Posted by: Fug. | April 20, 2006 at 05:12 AM
There is always one thing in your work that stands out to the me the most, and this time it is the shoes. Perhaps Mr. Cruise is controlling Kate through Scientology not because he is insane, but rather because he is trying to make up for something. Sort of like many men do with a sports car except Tom can of course afford any car he wants. He instead chooses to empower himself in the most ultimate way - human ownership. Does Kate really have to suffer because Tom has a small wiener-johnson which prefers pecs to breasts? No, and that's unfair.
(I appologize that this comment is weird and perhaps non-sensical. I had a late night and no coffee.)
Posted by: Penname | April 20, 2006 at 06:43 AM
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!
*Pumps fist a la Kip on Napoleon Dynamite*
Prease, prease tell us where to get this mag when it comes out.
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | April 20, 2006 at 07:31 AM
OMG, this is perfection.
I love TC's platforms, and Katie still towers over him.
I'll be giggling all day.
Posted by: DonnaJEM | April 20, 2006 at 08:01 AM
I love the L.Ron portrait with the in-utero framing, and the fallopian-like scroll work. 14, you are a genius.
Posted by: jayco | April 20, 2006 at 08:42 AM
Frightening...yet oh so perfect! You've outdone yourself, girl! Wish I could wax on how absolutely wonderful it is...but the thesis won't conclude itself. Thanks for making this semester less painful! ;)
Posted by: Morrigan | April 20, 2006 at 10:46 AM
Oh my GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!! You always out-do yourself! Right down to the off center front teeth of Tom. You even capture Katie's simpering little grin. Very nice.
Posted by: Chansmom | April 20, 2006 at 11:02 AM
Hey, they could use this as their birth announcment.
Tom's face morphed into ratty-ness is sooooo funnnnny. His earnest little rat eyes.and buck teeth! And Katie looks cute, like she is just in a Halloween costume.
which is fitting, she IS just 'wearin the costume'. He is the REAL DEAL.
Funny as it is, I get a creepy feeling as I write this. Just how ickily weird he is...
Posted by: Andrea | April 20, 2006 at 11:05 AM
Wow...King-Rat Cruise is definitely the posterboy for mid-life crisis, is he not? How appropriate the leash on poor Kate, ah..."love" indeed. You've captured the insanity perfectly...as if the ingestion of placenta wasn't creepy enough, ugh! I would be remiss if I didn't mention the almost ERASERHEAD-like quality of the Cruise larvae, you rock, 14!
Posted by: Devin | April 20, 2006 at 11:09 AM
Oh cmon, Katie is way cuter than that ;]
Nice job...
Posted by: Rix | April 20, 2006 at 11:45 AM
Nice! I have to repeat this, though: You made Tom look way too innocent and cute!
Ahaha, great job though.
Posted by: Starshine | April 20, 2006 at 12:53 PM
Great work - as always!!
Posted by: JoeyMadison | April 20, 2006 at 01:06 PM
Xenu's face on Tom's crown and the leash are nice touches!
Such a cute lil' rat. Aww...
Posted by: Moonmaid | April 20, 2006 at 01:18 PM
Absolutely hilarious! I love Tom with platform shoes!
Posted by: chi | April 20, 2006 at 01:23 PM
Perfecto-mundo! 14...can't wait to see how you'll paint the upcoming Jolie-Pitt collaboration.
Posted by: pawleysgirl | April 20, 2006 at 01:29 PM
The leash; no one mentioned the leash! Too good. Katies buyin' into Toms scientology bullsh*t like Britney buys Cheetos; hook, line and sinker.
Posted by: Janina | April 20, 2006 at 02:38 PM
"Suri" btw, is Swahili for "Help, call Child Protective Services!"
Posted by: ProfessorVP | April 20, 2006 at 06:28 PM
I too noticed the filigree design above the happy couple looking like the female reproductive system. Very nice, 14. You do have an eye. Love the shoes, and her funky feet too. You rock!
Posted by: Chansmom | April 20, 2006 at 10:31 PM
This is a wonderful work. I am loving all the details.
The shoes!
The crown of Xenu!
The thoughtful portrait of L.Ron
The fixed-and-determined smile of miz Holmes!
It's all just too good, right down to the colour scheme for lo pink obviously promotes attainment of high levels of clear.
Posted by: me | April 21, 2006 at 02:37 AM
14, you're the best! How about a portrait of another nutty parent...Michael Jackson and his poor children. I predict that in 10 years Suri Cruise, Blanket, Prince Michael and Paris Jackson all run away together.
Posted by: NY Diva | April 21, 2006 at 02:59 AM
I've been viewing your extraordinary artwork for some time now and have yet to comment on how much I enjoy your amazing work. But this.....too much!!!! Will stop to comment even though I'm late for work. Truly brilliant, I love it. I especially love the "brown nose" on Katie, her nose so far up his butt that she's lost all sense of individuality. I wonder if she'll ever snap out of it. Thanks 14, I'm a big fan or yours.
Posted by: Carole | April 21, 2006 at 05:09 AM
I just had to comment again on how each successive painting of yours so one-ups the other that it's like this vortex of sheer genius!!!
Please never stop.
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | April 21, 2006 at 06:27 AM
Ah...now if only Elron's frame had been a goatse...
Awesome work as always, 14. I want a copy of this mag!!!!
Posted by: Cyclops Kitten Natividad | April 21, 2006 at 09:30 AM
Thank you for including the platform shoes! I love them!!
Interesting how Tom does not look that much different as a rat.
Posted by: sweetyme | April 21, 2006 at 01:47 PM
I just love ya! Best regardes from Poland!
Posted by: L.M.Production | April 21, 2006 at 02:22 PM
I wish you would've given her the tongue hanging out thing she does...oh, it's gross but she does it when she laughs..sticks her tongue out! Even Tom has commented on it. He loves it of course, but worries she will BITE it off while riding his motorcycle if they hit a bump. So he's asked her to try to stop it. I believe Tom protests too much! That's not his exact comment in an interview but close.
Posted by: isabella | April 22, 2006 at 12:47 AM
love the the platforms on Tom! ugh, I can't stand those two. Can't we just drop them in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle and hope and pray they never return?
Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) | April 25, 2006 at 12:16 PM
Does anyone care about either of these people? Really. He's a sissy... they say and she... who is she? Tee hee hee. Methinks my comment won't make it to the posting. Oh well. God. You're so talented. I love this site. It makes me laugh.
Posted by: Laverne | April 25, 2006 at 02:30 PM
Hey great job, I love your pictures. Just a note that a magazine called "New Weekly" in Australia ran 2 pages of your artworks a couple of weeks ago with no mention of your name or website? Thought it was a bit unfair that they printed lots of your pics but didn't even credit you. Here is a link to their webpage:
http://nw.ninemsn.com.au/
Posted by: Concerned fan in NZ | April 25, 2006 at 07:38 PM
This is the best one yet, and it's really no exaggeration at all. They're so creepy! This and the Brangelina thing got me thinking about the phenomenom of almost- nutcases and their toadies. Wouldn't it be interesting to see Tom hook up with Angelina? Two lunatic daredevil pilots, self-absorbed, manic, and manically protective and "private" yet prone to showing off. I like that he's so peppy and clean-cut and she's broody, wild, they'd drive each other absolutely insane. And I know she'd never let him push her around, she'd kick his little butt. Scientology? No friggin' way. But she wouldn't be able to drag him all over the world either, or make him get a mohawk or tats. Tommy does what Tommy wants, and so does she.
I don't think she'd hook him with sex.
TC's face doesn't look any different.
Posted by: tricia | April 26, 2006 at 09:06 AM