If Egon Schiele Had Painted Nicole Richie

Austrian Expressionist painter Egon Schiele is best known for his haunting paintings of solitary figures.  His models often looked bored, uncomfortable, somewhat hollow-eyed and tended to be bony thin.  I think if he were around today, he would chose Nicole Richie as one of his subjects. Medium: Charcoal, pastel and acrylic on paper stained with chai tea.

Comments

[Janelle]

I love your choice of medium.

[Chris Tolomei]

That's why I'm here. I saw you mentioned in the NYTimes. Your work is fabulous but WHO are you?

[DonnaJEM]

Excellent 14, the chai tea makes for a nice eeriness.
Nicole has the cutest face, but when you see her from the neck down she really looks like she needs to be hooked up to an IV that feeds her a combination of trans fat and calcium.

[Mike]

Nice to see you're getting recognition for your fine (and hilarious) work.

[shannon]

This has nothing to do with the Nicole Ritchie post, but I can't find another way to make this request.

With the recent articles on Britney Spears (her 2nd pregnancy & wanting to hire a dr who suggested she not put baby sean on high things since he might roll off) please create another piece on her & her wacky life. I'm thinking something similar to your Tomrat & Katrat animal series, but on animals that eat their young or are equally poor parents.

[This is so punk]

Please please don't stop painting the celebrity culture. You're a genius.

[Crees_dahl]

PLEASE 14, PLEASE DON'T EVER STOP WHAT YOUR DOING! I don't want to look at pictures designed to match my sofa! I come here to see what your wacky mind has conjured up and I am never dissapointed.

I aslo agree with Shannon. Britney Spears is due to be lampooned by you any day now.

[14]

AWWWW, you folks say the nicest things. Genius? HAR! Goofy is more like it.

I've got a nice little Brit and Kev animal portrait simmering on the easel right now. It will be featured in Animal Magazine and shown on my site in June.

14
mistress of the galactic owls

[Devin]

Kudos on the extra exposure you are garnering...NYT is a pretty grand platform! I have become almost obsessed with this site, I can't even get my own work done; darn your awesome talents!! Thank you for the entertainment and inspiration to try different mediums other than Acrylics, you are an original for sure.

[breezy]

Nice... a proper pin-up girl. I love that skeletal figure; reminds me of Kentucky fried chicken... you can almost lick the bones, or is it "fingers"?

Sickly aspirations these stars of ours!

[Deekay]

Big up Yourself with the Times citing TomRat as a PopCulture high ... you arent just the commentary ... you are the culture. Yeah You!

[Julie]

so, my boyfriend is a terribly serious artistic type who has only lived in the US for a few years, refers to movies as films and finds my obsession with trashy tabloid gossip to be completely tacky and obscene. this morning i discovered that he added this site to his rss feeds after i showed it to him last week.

you are the greatest thing ever.

[idj]

14, I've been visiting your site for quite a while now, and I finally just have to comment that you have such a great eye for truth in an image and idea. Celebrity culture deserves your commentary. Please, please don't quit! I really love your work (mind you, you're a very talented artist, so landscapes and bowls of fruit would be just great, too, but would they put you in the NYT?) Cheers!

[Andy]

You are a delight 14.

[Long Island Irish]

LOL I love the spaced out expression in her eyes!

[BlissBoo]

I love Egon's work. I viewed some of it in Austria. Talk about a tortured soul. Your work with Nicole is spot on. Sadly. I don't even know how the girl can operate anymore, she looks really bad.

[Katie]

Her elbow sticking out of her skin - a real high point for me.
Marvellous!

[Andrea]

reminds me of what david spade said about her on his show, Nicole Ritchie is proof that humans can live for up to three years on attention alone...ain't it the truth!

[Rix]

Nice job and congrats on "defining" popular culture. Don't stop drawing celebs, after all we have enough enuf pics of bowls of fruit. Not to mention that they are boooring.

PS: Sorry to quibble, but "chai" is Hindi for tea. So "chai tea" is in fact "tea tea".

[midevil]

Keep it up! Change? Pshaw. Why ruin a good thing!

[TheIdleReceptionist]

WOW, Congrats on your NY Times mention!! That's HUGE!!

And this Nicole Richie is brillllliant as always. I really enjoy it when you mimic famous painters because you catch the nuances of their works so well!!

And please, never stop painting George Clooney eating a hot dog. Never.

[morrigan]

One cannot question that which inspires us in the arts, writing, or music. Don't you quit on what makes you unique. Any artist can paint a landscape, but you make us giggle at the celebrities who need to be laughed at once in awhile. :)

Congrats on gettin' your work noticed by NYT.

[sarah]

i hope for more recognition for you! your work is beatiful and entertaining at the same time. congrats on the mention in the new york times! your artistic skills always amaze me, thanks for all fun!

[Israel]

I didn't know the nerdy dude from GhostBusters was a painter! Go Egon!

[Janina]

OKay... It's really scary how undeniably accurate this painting is; How her rib cage exceeds her breasts, her overly punctilious tendons, and her resemblence to a life-sized bobble headed doll. Beautiful girl but she's got to start hanging out with Janet Jackson and put on a few pounds.

this is absolutely beautiful

[Chansmom]

Don't go changin'! Heh. I love your work! Bowls of fruit, indeed.

[Jen]

I love your work! You're an amazing talent, and you have hilarious, witty ideas for your work. I'd love to see you do something with Mariah Carey!

[Paula Bayley]

Regarding Ryan Seacreast and Paula Adul's little spat...in the end it came down to her initally having a crush on him!!! How can you not....he is sooooo appealing!! Go get him Paula!!

[Karen Rani]

Congrats on the fab mention in the NYT dah-ling. You are so talented, as I've told you before. Keep up whatever makes you happy!

[Davehater]

She looks fat to me.

[Dawn (webmiztris)]

you sure that's not a photograph of her? I can't tell the difference...

[Damien]

Bella such skill. You cannot stop drawing and painting Nicole and her cohorts, were else could I find my celeb trashing fix...alas.

[Viper Tetsu]

The New York Times?! Hot-CHA!! You rock like Bon Scott-era AC/DC on Space Mountain, chica.

In case the loud hosannas from the rest of the Fourteen Cult Throng haven't hammered this home by now, what you're doing is as (ulp, dare I say it?) important as it is funny. If Jonathan Swift and Dorothy Parker were alive today they'd be sticking their quills into the eyes of the same vapid celebs who receive your paint-and-ink skewers. They turned snark into art...kinda like someone else we know.

Plus, Swift, Parker, and their literary progeny were pee-your-pants funny. Again, kinda like someone else we know.

Mega-bonus points for somehow managing to inject several dollops of art history into the wackiness. If your fabulous forays into Schiele/Lichtenstein/Dali-inspired spoofery have induced one art neophyte to explore the links you've provided to your artistic forebears, then you've singlehandedly justified the existance of Nicole Richie AND Britney Spears.

Which makes you, officially and unequivocably, God.

[Nia]

No no no!
Please never stop celebrity painting!
My levels of joy might never recover!

[Moonmaid]

14, your work entertains and amuses us all.

Remember the scene in Preston Sturges' Sullivan's Travels, in which Joel McCrea watches the chain gang inmates laughing at a comedy film, and realizes that providing laughter to the public is not meaningless, but essential?

Well remember that the next time you think your work is not high art.

Besides, you can find those serious "Sprockets" type artists in any East Village coffee bar. Dime a dozen.

[Ken]

I am glad you're getting the free publicity. The whole world should know of your genius! And given the state of our culture, I have no doubt that one day Tom Cruise and Angelina Jolie will be commissioning you to paint them in the portrait of your choosing, just to show that they're in on the joke.

[Bragan]

Congrats, 14! You deserve your 15 minutes of fame and more.

[Penname]

Your signature is really cool.

[Pop Fantastic]

I really like the color scheme for the portrait. It is (as always) such a great pic that caputres that celeb so well. And congrats on the NYTimes mention!

[Mel]

You are an artistic GENIUS!!!!!!

[Demon Kitty]

I just know you are going to be fucking famous 14! Please don't stop painting trashy gossip inspired caricatures! Your site has brought me so much joy! Good art is good for the soul!

I am so sick of looking at this malnourished unattractive woman! I hate to say it but she looks like she has a terminal disease and is wasting away- well, it is a terminal disease.

So Much love,
Demon Kitty

[mabster60]

Schiele's paintings seemed like premonitions of the coming wars: skeletal bodies, dreary backrounds. I wonder if Ms Richie has any concept of how much her self-imposed starvation reminds people of the Holocaust?

Your work is excellent, btw. Stay acid, kid.

[tricia]

Hey you, congrats on your Times mention, it's brilliant that you were cited.

And this one---wow. From Dali to Schiele, and you can do Picasso, too. This is amazing. NR has the strangest eyes, they're very large and needy, and you captured that. Why the hell do these skeletal chicks *always* say they've always been skinny or have a fast metabolism, when everyone knows better? NR used to be cute and approachable, in contrast to Miss Hilton, and now...well, whatever. Too small for size 0.

[gemidevi]

Awesome news about the very descriptive mention in NYT!! I am a long time fan, rare noter. You are great! Take care!

[arb]

just tripped onto your site from a friend's recommendation. the egon painting is the best possible 1st peak. love him. love the painting. love the blog.

[Tess]

You richly deserve the praise.

Congrats,14. A job well done.

[Pink Armadillo]

Don't ever stop! Satire is incredibly important to society and your paintings/drawings are hilarious as well as incredibly well done. You deserve a lot of recognition. Congratulations!

TO Penname | April 28, 2006 at 02:30 PM

That is how egon schiele signs all his paintings.

[Fug.]

Nice work 14, & don't give up, alot of people here love your art!